It Can’t Be That Bad
Posted
June 30, 2008 at
1:56 pm by
Kadi
“Something’s gotta give,” my exasperated husband sighs as we both gaze desparingly upon our monthly bank statement. “What? What can we give?” We look over every detailed transaction. Gasoline…300 dollars per month. Groceries…1800 dollars per month. Doctor visits and prescriptions…125 dollars per month. The list of costs associated with raising our large family, in this modern day, is seemingly endless and far too overpriced. My new struggle with trying to balance frugality, while shopping for our health, has proven to be an enormously frustrating task. The conundrum of trying to fill my children’s tummies with organic goodness and simultaneuosly avoiding a negative checking account balance is a foe that I am acquainted with, against my will. I keep hoping that my foe will grow tired of the resistance to his efforts to ruin my shaky but stubborn balance and leave me alone, but he is more persistant than I had estimated him to be.
My maternal mission to live on one income has required me to completely forget about designer jeans and MAC counter make up. I’m forced into concerning myself with only the basics, now. I don’t even dare pick up a copy of Vogue, for fear that the reminiscent yearning for the latest fashions might birth feelings of inadequacy. Who the hell needs the stress of feeling fashionably inadequate when trying to put adequate food on the table? Not me. I’m learning to be content with my Target brand jeans and generic make up. There is no room for fashion snobbery in my life anymore. I french kissed it goodbye (hey…we had a torrid love affair for a long time) and will never look back. I simply cannot allow myself the luxury of that kind of fornication with seven kids to put through college, and apparently, even struggle to feed for the next umpteen years.
We have also recently come face to face with the financial demands of raising imperfect children. As imperfect as I know we are, as parents, there are more than just two imperfect humans who live under our crimson tiled roof. One son has an ADHD disorder that we strive to try and naturally cure. This translates into forking out a lot of money on extra vitamins, health supplements, organic foods, holistic health practictioners and literature on behavioral modification approaches. Trust me, medication is the cheaper “solution,” eventhough (for us) it is not the best route to take. We have kids who need medical procedures to put tubes in ears, remove adenoids and correct a serious tongue tie problem. We have hyperactive kids who need weekly athletic involvement in order to stave off wall climbing, which costs money. We have kids who grow at incredible rates. Rates that necessitate a larger sized shoe, only six weeks after purchasing the last new pair. I’m sorry to say, that God actively ignored my prayers for perfect children. This is not what I signed up for. Somehow, I ended up in the group of people that got assigned to be a parent of imperfect humans. Did anyone else, reading this, get put into the same group? Just curious!
So there we were, sitting at the organic apple sauce encrusted kitchen table, pondering ways to increase our cash flow or decrease our expenditures. We sat, two exhausted lumps of flesh and a piece of paper that seemed to scream from the top of its lungs, “What the hell were you two thinking, having all these kids?!” We did the only thing we knew to do… shake our heads and laugh. “Hey,” my husband tried to make light of our stressful moment,” if my parents did it, we can do it.” And he’s absolutely right. If his parents raised thirteen kids up to be happy, healthy adults, then surely we can raise half that amount. We will just cinch up our Target brand belts, make a few adjustments to our habits and keep on truckin’. I got up from the table and poured each of us a glass of wine, as part of our nightly pre bedtime ritual, when my husband had an idea. ”Maybe we should stop having our nightly glass of wine. It will save a few bucks each week.” I looked over at the man who had just suggested cutting out the one thing that we get to share every night, besides a bed and cooties, as if to say, “Are you effing serious?” He chuckled at my expression of pure disgust and retracted the ridiculous statement by picking up his glass and toasting, “Here’s to our financial struggles, our child induced stress and the wine we get to share together for the rest of our lives. May the first two never interfere with the last!” As long as we can afford our weekly bottle of wine, I consider our lack of wealth a very minor side effect of being blessed with so many imperfect, yet wonderful, children. I’ll let you know if my sentiments change should we ever have to suppress our affinity for wine, due to lack of finances.
Tags: adhd, budget, disorders, Family, Finances, food, groceries, Health, organic, shopping, wine |
19 Responses to “It Can’t Be That Bad”
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1. Rita
June 30, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
Two buck chuck? That might help with the wine.
I hear ya, with three kids, we’re constantly struggling to keep our heads above water financially. I think that there ought to be some moral test and all the good people get the money.
2. Kymberly Foster Seabolt
June 30, 2008 @ 4:55 pm
Actually, your husband has the right idea. Remember that generations before us did as much (if not more) with less.
I actually subscribe to a magazine called Reminisce. It’s lots of old photos and great anecdotes by readers (most of them approximately 900 years old
There is no cure for the “I spent too much at the mega-market and/or the cable bill is so high” blues quite like remembering that in our great-grandparents day they dealt with rationing and 101 ways to cook chicken’s feet.
3. Kadi
July 1, 2008 @ 10:22 am
You ladies always know how to brighten up my day with your insight! Thanks a billion
Cheers to you!
4. Allison G.
July 1, 2008 @ 10:55 am
Have you guys thought of home-canning some fruits and veggies? You could grow your own produce or buy it cheap in bulk. The glass jars are reusable. The whole family can help with this project. A grandparent or senior friend could probably teach you how to do it. And some things just taste better when home-canned. My old lady neighbor puts a strip of bacon in her canned green beans, and they taste great!
Good luck in battling the oldest war in history; how to make money last longer!
5. Grandma frm Ks.
July 1, 2008 @ 11:27 am
Oh Kadi girl, you just made my past flash before my eyes, and it seemed the older kids got, the more it cost, But some how we managed to get them all to be decent human beings, great parents, ( there were times I had doubts of how they would turn out, if I did’nt kill em’ in the process) But what they remember most is how we were all together, And at the end of the day, mom and dad was there, It’s those things that will forever be in their heart and memories. When I’d get really stressed I’d try to remember, Yes I can, Yes I can, And I did.
6. Renee
August 28, 2009 @ 3:19 pm
You first mistake? Organic. A recent study showed it has NO health benefits.
After that? Well, you can trade money for time. Check out what these guys did: http://onedollardietproject.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/it-starts-today/
Obviously, you don’t want to spend that little on your kids, but reading it gives you a good idea of what types of food to cook to save money.
7. Lauren
August 29, 2009 @ 1:37 pm
Kadi, first of all, I really, really enjoyed reading your blog! You certainly have a talent/ability/flair for writing, girl.
Secondly, it actually uplifted me to read that my husband and I aren’t the only couple who sit at the kitchen table and try to work magic on the checking account. We only have three, but two are in college and baby girl is a senior in high school and feels that she needs to be involved in every club available to her. (Can’t complain, makes me proud of her for being so civic minded! I have high hopes for her future!).
I just wanted to say that your blog was a joy to read, and to be perfectly honest, we’re not cutting out our bottle(s) of wine every week either. It’s a small indulgence to which we treat ourselves.And it actually helps (it has a calming medicinal influence, LOL) during bill paying night.
I would like to read more from you.
8. cookie
August 29, 2009 @ 2:30 pm
Lauren, your not alone, we are doing it (balancing the bills/checkbook at my table every week also -my effort to hide receipts at check balancing time does not actually make the money in your account grow, fyi - I agree with Lauren, Kadi when are we going to see some more blogs by you? I like your style.
9. Kadi Prescott
August 29, 2009 @ 2:36 pm
Thank you much! You can read more from me here:
http://www.wombattheinnsane.com
http://www.momdot.com
10. cookie
August 29, 2009 @ 2:38 pm
Thanks sis, I’ll go check it out.
11. Grandmafrm Ks
August 29, 2009 @ 10:25 pm
Lauren, hello there hope things are going well for you, just happened to see you on Kadi’s blog and I wanted to tell you of one she had about a year ago, it was called Kate the Great vrs. Lady Kate in reference to Kate Gosselin, you should read it, was very good, And go to her pictures and see her ( Kadi’s ) children,
She has a wonderful story and she has a great writing talent, and did you know she had Super Nanny at her house? ( I think it was called Super Nanny)
I read you were expecting a great nephew, I hope all turns out well for you and your neice and baby, I am expecting our 2nd great grand daughter, Oh my where have the years gone LOL
12. Grandmafrm Ks
August 29, 2009 @ 10:41 pm
Kadi, not laughing at you but with you, when you said “god ignored your prayer for perfect children” is there such things out there any where? I must have been cheated to, because mine sure were not perfect,but as yours are, so beautiful in thier own ways,so precious (when asleep) and now they are all grown and lots of grand kids following, and we love it.But the one thing God did promise us is he would not give us more than we could bear, Thru the years, many times I said “what? you are kidding, right God? because I don’t think we can handle much more,” well that was 47 years ago, and we are still here. LOL
I look at them today and wonder how we did it, and now I can really enjoy that glass of wine,Grandpa and I always get a big laugh at the holidays when they are all homesitting around telling thier childhood stories to thier kids, some are so far fetched, We have one son who swears he took the blunt end for his sisters,
So it is wonderful to have so many memories when looking back at times when you found it was hard to laugh but to see how you pulled thru it all, only devine intervention baby, devine intervention.
13. cookie
August 30, 2009 @ 6:56 am
Grandmafrm Ks - I know you were sharing with Lauren, but I’m going to go check it out to. I love your post, my favorite memories are times with family, all being togeather in their imperfectness! Those relationships are such a blessing - especially since they are perfect.
14. Grandmafrm Ks
August 31, 2009 @ 1:57 pm
Thank You Cookie, there is nothing that compares (at My age) to the wonderful memories of our children and all the struggles, and trials that brought so many blessings and joy to our hearts, I have mentioned this before but there is an old song “Precious Memories” that is my favorite, many a night I can sit in the quiet and swear I hear a little ones voice/foot steps, I look at my grand children and wonder how did mine grow up so fast, where have the years gone to,
Lots of new and exciting loving things happening all the time with grand children, but still in the quiet, you miss those times of your own being under foot.
15. Lauren
August 31, 2009 @ 3:21 pm
Hi, Grandma! No baby as of yet. She went to the doc on Friday (I think)with contractions at 20 minutes apart. Doc wisely told her to go home and WALK. Sara went straight to the movies. LOL
Boy is her life gonna change within the next week!
16. cookie
August 31, 2009 @ 7:57 pm
I know what you mean Grandmafrm Ks about the song - my Grandma used to sing it when I was little. she also sang “on the wings of a snow white dove” - Porter Wagoner had a version she loved. I actually am going through a time of mourning for those days with my grandparents (who helped raise me and my sister) my grandma is physically here but its so different. Parkinson and Alzhiemers is a tough, I love sitting with her and singing those songs - its just so painful to not have her the same way. When you sit in your home in those quiet evenings, please know those grandbabies are remembering those wonderful days also. I’m doing a project with my grandpa right now, putting his stories in a book form, and I think its been healing for both of us - his wife of 68 years is gone mentally and we have both kind of clung to each other to get past this. I don’t know why I have just shared all of this with you, I don’t even know if your going to read it, I just wanted you to know I really appreciated your post today.
17. Grandmafrm Ks
September 2, 2009 @ 9:31 am
Cookie, you are certainly in my thoughts today, so sorry to hear of your pain, Some times I hear the younger generation refer to Alzhiemers as “old timers” disease, and I explain to them how dis-respectful that it is, they have no idea how painful it is to thier loved ones to see them going thru this, Hopefully someday there will be a cure, My SIL’s father had this disease and it was so painful to warch what she and her mom went thru, but they kept him home until the very end.
Good luck with your book, it will serve many memories thru the years for the family. I am 63 and still have many, many great memories of my grandparents, espically my grand father preaching, he was awesome.
(whoops I just used a Jon Gosselin-ism word (awesome lol)
Seriously tho, our memories keeps us alive and young at heart.
18. cookie
September 2, 2009 @ 9:43 am
I agree, those memories are so precious and its such a gift to carry them to the next generation. Each day is different with these diseases - some days are tender and sweet and some are painful and long. It really makes you appreciate the good times and its such a great way to teach our little ones about commitment and loyalty to each other even in the hard times, it so touchs my heart to see our youngest family members loving on their great grandma, she doesn’t always recognize the faces but she recognizes the love.
19. Grandmafrm Ks
September 2, 2009 @ 9:44 am
Hi Lauren, You are right baby, her life will change, but some times we can not tell this younger generation any thing, “they know it all”
I know when we were young and starting out we had to make our own mistakes and learn from them, but today, it seems like kids wants to make thier own mistakes but they want some one else to bail them out when things get rough.
I have a niece in her 30’s who wants to live her own life,but it’s costing mom and dad a lot of worry and money, they will be broke completely emotionally and financcially “soon” if they don’t take a step back, But she “has to make her own mistakes and learn” trouble is she DON’T learn.
So heres hoping with you, that your neice will learn, and take your advice as love and concern for her best interest,You know this could be the very thing to cause her to grow up, she could be the best mom, I still believe in miracles, shucks I have seen some in our family, Just lets you know that Prayer really does work, and we use that before any thing else,How many times we hear people say ” well I guess all we can do now is pray” when they should have done that first,And yes I tell myself that quite often, LOL
Thinking of you and your family and sending up a prayer for you.