Remember the post about the conversation I recently had with my mother in law? It ended with the promise of another story from the Prescott family archives. I am a woman of my word (unless I forget which happens quite often.) The following story is not for the weak of constitutions. It is a real life account of what can happen when one has an overactive uterus and a long overdue second honeymoon in progress. Brace yourself…

After twenty three years of marriage, ten children and several thousand trips to the doctor, church and the school pick up line, Dean and Julie desperately needed some alone time. Being a one income family of twelve, did not allow for the luxury of a vacation, much less one without kids. So, when the opportunity for a business trip presented itself, it was a dream come true for the frazzled couple. Even though their destination was only a few hours away, by plane, Julie was a tad reluctant to leave her children. Sure, the older ones were more than capable of tending to the brood. Sure, they had wonderful neighbors who promised to help keep an eye on the house. However, leaving a house full of kids unattended was a little unsettling. Despite her worries, Dean and Julie took the trip to Utah.

Julie had given birth to eight feisty boys and two girls, at this point in life. The boys were notorious for performing dangerous stunts and getting into all kids of mischief. Julie had visited the emergency room so many times, that they practically knew the Prescott family by name. It was no surprise when one of the boys, fell out of a tall palm tree in the front yard, and suffered a broken arm and concussion. In fact, this particular child was such a jokester, that Julie playfully kicked him and laughed as he lay on the sidewalk. She was so used to falling prey to his tricks, that she never imagined that he was actually hurt. It was this type of thing that lay in the back of Julie’s mind as she unpacked her suitcase at the hotel. Thoughts of worst case scenarios flooded the unsettled mother’s mind. Finally, after much persuading from Dean, she breathed a sigh of relief and allowed herself to relax. As all of you parents know, those words written in a parenting story, always mean trouble…

Back at home, the kids were getting along well. By “well,” I mean not killing each other. Everyone was being fed, bathed and kept alive. Then it happened. One of the boys decided to climb the very same palm tree that had been the culprit in the injury that occurred just a few months earlier. This boy, a different one than had suffered the broken arm and concussion, decided to swing from the branches of the tree. It was a ton of fun to do, until the branch broke. As a rule, palm tree branches are not designed to hold the weight of a child who thinks he is Tarzan. Apparently, nobody had informed this boy of that fact. The boy fell to the sidewalk with a *snap*. A snap? Yes, a snap. His arm literally snapped in half when it hit the edge of the curb, causing the bone to tear right through the flesh. He dazedly walked into the house with a broken bone exposed for the world and his teenaged sister, to see.

Did the kids call 911? No. Did they call Dan and Julie? No way. They did the first thing that any logically thinking teen would do in an emergency situation. They put the injured boy on the back of his sister’s boyfriend’s motorcycle and took him to the emergency room. Meanwhile, way out in Utah somewhere, Julie was semi-enjoying the chance to have an adult conversation with her husband. When the phone rang in their hotel room, Julie automatically knew that something was very wrong. Kids do not just call their vacationing parents to tell them that all is well at home. It had to be something big, to necessitate a phone call. When Julie answered with a panicked, “Hello?” she was surprised to hear the voice of the family physician. He relayed the bad news and assured Julie that her son was going to be just fine. The doctor ordered her to stay where she was and that he would perform the necessary surgery, without her presence. After all, he had been physician to the Prescott family for years and knew how badly Dan and Julie needed a break.

In the end, all was well. The boy who played Tarzan, healed nicely. Nothing else happened to warrant an emergency phone call to Dan and Julie. The couple got some much needed rest and were able to finish the trip out. They returned home to nine healthy, in tact children and one recovering one. They did not, however, take another lover’s weekend until all of their thirteen children were grown adults. Yes, you heard me right. They did go on to have three more children, making the grand total a whopping thirteen! Surprisingly, the children are all alive and well, with families of their own. Of course, none of them has even close to the number that their parents had. It may, in part, be due to the fact that they know just how much work it is to have a large family and enjoy the luxury of taking vacations that are free from the fear of broken arms and calls from the ER. You see, even if you do not vacation in Las Vegas, taking any kind of trip away from a large brood of feisty kids, is a gamble. The odds are never in your favor, as Dan and Julie learned the hard way!