Social conscience says WHAT?!
Posted
June 6, 2008 at
1:45 am by
Misty
I’m applying to be a CASA, G-d help me.
For those not familiar with the term, CASA is an acronym for Court Appointed Special Advocate. The short version is, when a child has entered the SRS system for anything ranging from neglect to abuse to behavioral issues, the Court will appoint a CASA to independently research the case and present their views on what will be in the best interest of the child (when a volunteer is available, which is sadly not always the case).
Yeah, I know it’s going to break my heart on a daily basis. But that already happens everytime I read the news, and I’m sick of just feeling sick about it.
Even before I found an established religion that resonated with me, I prayed. A lot. Even when I proclaimed myself to be a cynical hard-ass bitter atheist.
I rarely prayed for myself, aside from the occasional, “Oh, just . . . thank You.”, and those were a lot rarer back then than they are now; I’ve been sending that bleep out into the universe multiple times daily these past few years. But when I read of a child victimized, something in me just screamed so hard it ruptured something in my psyche and set it bleeding, like a small ulcer. Always. Every single time. And it wasn’t just a “help them”, it was more visceral than that, more to the effect of, “I’ll take their pain if you’ll spare them from it. I can handle it; they can’t.”
But I’ve begun to realize that prayer isn’t the email to the impersonal webmaster I once thought it was, that it isn’t ignored or responded to with a stock PR reply. I’ve begun to recognize that I’m getting answers to those prayers, and it isn’t in the form of a divine hand of mercy miraculously lifting said child out of its mire of desperation and into the sort of childhood every human being deserves. I’m not getting a sense of “peace, my child, all will be well.”
Instead, I’m getting a firm kick in the ass.
Maybe it’s the experience of parenting a child of my own that’s awakened this awareness. Maybe it’s something much less defineable.
Maybe I went and grew a social conscience when I wasn’t looking.
Now, when I get that feeling like I’m going to vomit and cry and punch something all at the same time when reading of yet one more horror in an endless stream of atrocities against innocents, it’s inextricably mixed up with a combination of guilt and passionate activism.
Someone is trying to tell me that I’m ready, now, to quit just feeling sorry for these kids, but instead do whatever is in my limited power to make any miniscule difference I can.
I don’t believe that G-d has every detail of every human life planned out, and that His plan will inevitably guide every person to fulfill their purpose in His creation. Reading the Old Testament as an adult has purged that delusion, if common sense hasn’t.
I do, however, believe that G-d put me here to make the word a better place than it was when I arrived. I believe that’s His wish for all souls, but for reasons beyond my fathoming, He lets us make the decision to do that, or not, as we will.
So I’ve begun to think that just writing rambling memoirs about my experience as one of the earth’s biggest scumbags, and consort to more of the same, isn’t enough to fulfill that intention.
I quite adamantly believe that my unique voice is the gift I was given this time around, and that how I use it will be my single most important contribution to mankind, small as it may be.
But I’m beginning to think that the written word, serving my own ego, isn’t the vehicle that’s going to accomplish that.
Instead, I think that I’m meant to use my experiences and insights in a much more direct manner.
I used to think that my own story was the only one I was meant to make heard.
I now realize that this was narcissistic bullshit.
People like me who were given the gift of extraordinarily moving expression aren’t necessarily given said gift just to tell their own stories. There are those much more important than us, whose voices have been stolen from them, and we have a duty as decent human beings to use this talent to aid them.
And I have experiences that I believe are uniquely suited to this sort of work.
It’s time I expanded my repertoire.
Tags: CASA, court-appointed-special-advocate, Criminal Justice, damned-fool, foster-care, foster-system, SRS |
8 Responses to “Social conscience says WHAT?!”
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1. Rita said:
June 6, 2008 @ 8:44 am
That sounds great!
I can sympathize with your feelings, but in reverse. I was a social worker for a long time and it was a very draining but rewarding job. The pay was so low that it was almost like charity–with the occasional free lunch. But typically, people don’t go into social work to get rich.
But, the past few years I’ve felt a little guilty because I haven’t been doing anything to really help anyone else. I used to volunteer at the church, and my middle child and I used to visit the nursing home, but for the past three years, I have done NOTHING. But, I like to convince myself that all those years of the intense work (my first job was like 60 hours a week, pulling double or triple shifts with regularity because they were understaffed and I was childless, so I could) kind of “pays forward” and covers me now, lol. I don’t know whether that’s just a form of denial, but I just feel like the past few years, it’s all I have in me to get to the end of the day and not fuck up the people I’m responsible for in my house. I can’t imagine taking on anyone else right now. I hope that this changes in the future and I can get myself back on track, but for now, this is the best I can do.
So, good for you, though, making that decision to get out there and make a difference. It is really, really important.
And I wish God would speak to me a little more clearly. I’ve been feeling a little abandoned by Him the past few years. If you could put in a word for me, that’d be great.
2. Misty said:
June 6, 2008 @ 8:53 am
And yeah, I’d say that your years of social work have definitely “paid it forward” for a few decades of inaction. And who the hell ever said that raising good, decent children wasn’t contributing something charitable to the world?
Who knows, I may get into this and start counting the days until my one-year initial commitment is up. But I have to give it a shot, because the arthritis has set in and punching walls is no longer an option
3. ninja weiner nah nah said:
June 6, 2008 @ 9:04 am
I think you are exactly what God had in mind! You will do a great job!
4. Emely said:
June 13, 2008 @ 2:05 pm
My name is Emely (24), and I am a criminal justice student. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my degree until recently that I head a story about a young boy in which his father left him in on his stroller for an 1 ½ hr hour in the 95* heat. What really got me mad was that they mentioned he had blisters the size of …..GOLF BALLS!!!!! Then I decided to know more about it and I came across this website….
I admire your passion for helping young children. I too get really upset when I hear stories about these so-called parents. I have been pregnant a few times and I always have a miscarriage during the second trimester…I’m not sure why. There many couples that want kids and are having trouble having them or can’t have them at all, and here are these MONSTERS that have this blessing and can’t appreciate the beauty of being a parent.
MY QUESTION: How can I become a CASA or work as those people from the state who physically take those kids away? I know it’s a dangerous job, but that’s a risk that I am willing to take to save a child’s life. No innocent child should be exposed to neglect or abuse of these unfit parents. It’s really sad and heart breaking.
In my opinion (sounds harsh) if they want to treat their kids like animals, then they should be treated like one and be ordered to not have children. CASTRATE THEM!!
Thanks for your time!!
5. Rita said:
June 13, 2008 @ 2:45 pm
When I was a social worker, the people who physically removed children from a home were the police.
I don’t know why you’d want that particular job. You do know that the children are crying and reaching for their parents when it happens. Children still want their parents, no matter how abusive those parents are. It’s the most heartbreaking thing to watch children scream and cry because strangers are taking them away from the parent who just left bruises on their body. They don’t understand what’s happening. I admire the police for what they do in cases like that, and I’ve had to be the one who has personally driven a hysterical child to the hospital upon removal from a home, and then to a foster home where the child just screams that they want their mother or father, and it’s just awful. Ripping families apart, even very, very unhealthy ones, isn’t an enjoyable part of any social service job.
6. Misty said:
June 13, 2008 @ 2:49 pm
As far as becoming a CASA, it varies from state to state and county to county. Sadly, some areas don’t have the funding to train volunteers for the position, so they’re just not there. I’d do a Google search for CASA in your area, as a start, or contact your local social services agency to see what programs they have available. As far as being the person who physically removes the child, to my understanding that’s usually done by a social worker, sometimes with police backup. Since you’re studying criminal justice, you might want to look into someday going into the kind of police work that deals with situations of abuse and neglect. And kudos for that, as well–it isn’t an easy field, and the rewards are intangible, to put it lightly–I admire your dedication and passion!!
7. Misty said:
June 13, 2008 @ 2:58 pm
8. Misty said:
June 13, 2008 @ 3:00 pm