Voice Of An Overworked, Underpaid Uterus
Posted
May 12, 2008 at
3:58 pm by
Kadi
Allow me to introduce myself, I am the woman you glare at in the grocery aisle, because her children are running amok. I am the woman with the two cart fulls of groceries, who you always get stuck behind in the check out line. I am the one you do not want at your Mom’s Club gatherings, because we are always late and usually forget snack when it is our turn. I am the owner of that dirty, fifteen passenger van in the school pick up line, who takes forever to load up her spawn. I am the maternity ward patient who all the nurses know by name. I’m the mom with a baby permanently attached to her hip and boogers crusted on her shoulder. I am the lady who makes women glad that they have only one child. I am the parent who does it all, but masters nothing. I am an imperfect parent of seven children. Around these parts, I go by the name of “Mooooooom, make him stop!” But you can call me “Kadi.”
I decided to join the ranks of the Imperfect Parent crew for a few reasons:
- Writing is my therapy. With seven kids, who has time to visit a shrink? Hell, who has time with only one kid? Being a parent allows for very little selfishness, but an over abundance of stress. My passion, aside from wiping snotty noses, is sharing my trials and joys of parenting a large family. What started as a simple form of catharsis through blogging, has evolved into a sort of symbiotic relationship. Readers feed off of my insight, wisdom (or lack thereof) and humor. I get my sense of fulfillment from reading their responses and knowing that the post helps others, or makes them laugh. So feel free to leave your comments whenever you read my posts, regardless of whether your opinions are congruent with my own. This is group therapy and everyone is welcome!
- I’ve learned that being perfect is highly overrated. It took me almost 30 years and nearly killing my sanity to learn that little lesson. Striving for perfection was something that I grew up doing. It was the norm in my family. After my parents divorced in 1990 and my steadfast pillars of perfection had crumbled, I worked even harder to be perfect. Perhaps I was in denial, or maybe it was how I rebelled against the idea that life isn’t perfect. I was out to prove that perfection could be acheived. Boy was I wrong. Life is so much more enjoyable when it is absent of the struggle to acheive perfection. There is nothing wrong with bettering one’s self. Likewise, there is nothing right about fooling yourself into thinking that perfection is something that must be attained to be happy.
- I love to develop relationships with like minded parents. Even if a parent cannot relate to me on the whole, they can usually relate to me in one sense or another. Whether you have one or twenty children, the problems are pretty much the same. Maybe I have more reasons for claiming parental insanity, but not different ones. I am not the average fertile Myrtle, however. Most people would never guess I had so many kids, because I do not fit the stereotype of an overative uterus. I like to wear fashionable clothing, I curse on occasion and I like my nightly glass of Merlot. While, I admit that these things are nothing to brag about, I’m also not ashamed to admit them. Just because I have a lot of kids, does not make me exempt from being human. I do stupid stuff, I embarrass myself and I stick my foot in my mouth on many occasions. I am just as imperfect as the next mom…or maybe more so!
I am so excited to join the ranks here and I hope that you will get something out of my small contribution to this community. Now that you know a little about me, I’d love to know about you and why you visit The Imperfect Blog. I look forward to hearing back from all of you and will answer any questions or comments you may have. I just hope you don’t mind if my replies are slightly stained, as I am making spaghetti for dinner and I’m a sloppy cook!
Tags: new-moms, Parenting |
19 Responses to “Voice Of An Overworked, Underpaid Uterus”
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1. The Mom said:
May 12, 2008 @ 6:26 pm
You rawk here and everywhere!
2. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 12, 2008 @ 7:00 pm
Kadi, I love reading your and others comments, first of all , let me say I am a grandma with 14 grand children, I was born in a totally different generation, raised my children absolutely different than I see now days, so by reading comments from others help me know my children have’nt all lost their minds, be quite honest with you I wonder how parents do it these days, I do enjoy all of you , most time I do get a good laugh, I love to know I was not the only one who made a lot of mistakes by being an “Imperfect Parent” “Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If ppl can’t accept your imperfections, thats their fault” By David M. Burns
3. Jessica said:
May 12, 2008 @ 8:00 pm
My name is Jessica and I blog/read/write/respond here here because it’s my job to blog/read/write/respond here. Both literally and figuratively.
Can’t wait to hear about all of your imperfections.
Welcome!
4. Rita said:
May 12, 2008 @ 8:11 pm
Yes…I’m not sure that wearing fashionable clothes, occasional cursing and drinking nightly merlot count as imperfections. Well, maybe the fashionable clothes. Depends on just how fashionable they are.
Welcome to the blog.
5. Jenna Roberts said:
May 12, 2008 @ 11:10 pm
Welcome Kadi,
I was one of seven children so while I do not have a lot of insight into what it is like raising 7 at a time I do know what it is like to be one of the seven
My Mom did not fall into the imperfect parent category. I do not know how she did it but she has always had incredible patience and the ability to sound completely calm when everything is chaotic and at max volume. I have 4 children and do not even come close to the patience and calmness my mother had with seven of us. She is an amazing artist and would often take the time to draw each of us little art scenes on our lunches. When I played volleyball she would often bake the team treats for after the games and she would always draw something and write words of encouragement. These are the moments I want to give my kids. Those moments that you look back on and remember just how loved you really have been. We all are trying to be the best we can be to raise our kids to be the best they can be. 
6. tanyetta said:
May 13, 2008 @ 1:44 am
Love it!
I’m a fan. You already know this
7. McGee said:
May 13, 2008 @ 9:52 am
Hi Kadi
I love to read your blog posts and found this forum because of it. I love your writing style and find myself laughing out loud when I read some of the trials and tribulations of parenting in your busy house. Cute pic - I swear Im looking in the mirror!!!
8. Lillyann said:
May 13, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
Hi and welcome
Look forward to reading more of your comments!
Two grown daughters, one mine, one his. Between us we have four grandchildren.
9. Elle said:
May 13, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
Hi Kadi
Saw you and the fam on SN and have been visiting your Seven Seeds site since. I can always count on having a good chuckle when I visit your blog. Seriously, I don’t know how you do it. Look forward to your contributions here.
10. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 13, 2008 @ 5:55 pm
[quote comment="163046"],
These are the moments I want to give my kids. Those moments that you look back on and remember just how loved you really have been. We all are trying to be the best we can be to raise our kids to be the best they can be. ;)[/quote]Jenna Roberts , make all the memories you can,b/c before you know it, kids are grown and gone, and in the quiet of the night , thats all you have is memories, I live on memories, at 61 and children all grown, I ask my self all the time where in the heck did 40 tears go so fast, I look at my grandchildren and now I know how my momma felt when she’d say “I miss you kids being little” at the time I thought “your kidding” no she was’nt. you girls really touch my heart with your stories. THANKS
11. Kymberly Foster Seabolt said:
May 13, 2008 @ 7:31 pm
Love the introduction! (And believe me, I’m the mom with the dirty seven passenger van unloading two kids behind you and I’m ENVIOUS sometimes - I think large families are cool!)
Great photo too. That would pass for our Christmas Card around here!
12. Jenna Roberts said:
May 13, 2008 @ 9:31 pm
[quote comment="163159"][quote comment="163046"],
These are the moments I want to give my kids. Those moments that you look back on and remember just how loved you really have been. We all are trying to be the best we can be to raise our kids to be the best they can be. ;)[/quote]Jenna Roberts , make all the memories you can,b/c before you know it, kids are grown and gone, and in the quiet of the night , thats all you have is memories, I live on memories, at 61 and children all grown, I ask my self all the time where in the heck did 40 tears go so fast, I look at my grandchildren and now I know how my momma felt when she’d say “I miss you kids being little” at the time I thought “your kidding” no she was’nt. you girls really touch my heart with your stories. THANKS[/quote]
Hi Grandma,
I always find myself repeating the following phrase silently “slow down.” It does go very fast and with all of the busy moments that exists in a days time for all of us who are on the go day and night it is important to remember to breathe and slow things down as much as possible. Always remember to be part of life instead of letting it just go past you unnoticed like when you drive in a car and never look at what is around you. Get down on the floor with your kids. Crawl in the mud with them and anywhere else they play.(unless there is a do not enter sign
) Most of all make the most of any and all time you have with your kids because each day is a gift wrapped up with a beautiful bow waiting for us to unwrap and enjoy!
It must be so fun to be enjoying grandchildren Grandma. I have to say I do not miss the baby stage that much.(new baby stage) I just like seeing the kids get bigger and enjoy all the phases……. well the three’s were a little questionalbe and I hear the teenage years may turn me grey completely hehe but overall I think it is all fun. Have a great night!
13. Kennedy said:
May 13, 2008 @ 11:44 pm
Kadi,
I watched SuperNanny when you were on. I got a big laugh when you were standing in your kitchen and you said something like “I’m not just going to stand here all day cutting the cheese” or something like that. One of my kids was watching with me. He was laughing too. I have 5 kids myself. Four boys, ages 11, 9, 7, and 5. And my little sweet girl, age 3. I didn’t think I’d ever have a girl. I didn’t even believe the doctor when I had my ultrasound and didn’t buy any girl clothes during the whole pregnancy. It’s been everything pink and purple ever since I’ve had her though!
14. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 14, 2008 @ 1:16 am
Kadi, I just read your poem “Seven Seeds” it was beautiful, I really enjoyed reading your family story and your Mothers Day , Day. The pictures you put out there are adorable , enjoy while you can, these moments seem to fly when you get a little older . Thank You for sharing.
15. Sassa Frass said:
May 14, 2008 @ 7:39 pm
Kadi!
Yeah! I am so glad that you are here. I belong to the Jon and Kate blog, and i also read your blog a couple times a week. I was so glad that we got to comm. briefly by email.
Ohhhhh i am just so excited that you are here! Welcome.
16. McGee said:
May 15, 2008 @ 8:36 am
Kadi
I didnt see the SN episode either - how has that changed your parenting style - or has it?
17. Kadi said:
May 15, 2008 @ 9:45 am
McGee~
A lot more than what was shown in our episode, actually transpired while Jo was at our house. We learned so many parenting techniques that work in large families, as well as smaller ones. We learned how to deal with my son’s ADHD and the reasons behind his behavior. We learned how to stop the habitual spanking. My husband and I had both been raised with the ideals of spanking as the main form of discipline. However, it just bred more violence in our own home. Now we are able to reserve that kind of tactic for rare occasions. We learned of some great ideas for increasing family communication. As you can imagine, trying to communicate in our home can be challenging. My kids all share responsibilites and pitch in to keep the house clean. I have been able to embrace my imperfections, bury my past and create inner peace by way of writing! Jo still has to encourage me every now and again, but we are doing much better, as parents. I will be doing a post on our experience, in the near future.
18. Rita said:
May 15, 2008 @ 9:55 am
I do love Supernanny. As a behaviorist, watching her show just reinforces what I learned in my training and through my work experience. I love seeing those very traditional textbook techniques applied in the different home-life settings. I think she’s just the bees knees. I’m jealous that you got to spend some real time with her. And, it’s nice to hear good things about her style, too, since it seems the people who are negative are the loudest, you know?
19. McGee said:
May 15, 2008 @ 2:48 pm
Thanks for taking the time to respond. You know what I admire about that? I think its cool you asked for help. You knew your limitations: strengths and weaknesses and put it out there to be a better parent/mother/person. Brave and bold and awesome I say!