Pierce This
Posted
May 3, 2008 at
7:10 pm by
Rita
Please tell me what’s up with the tattoos and the piercings. I’m not talking the regular old ear piercing, or even erotic piercings. Those, I understand. I can even see how the little nose stud can be cute (although sometimes they photograph more like warts). I mean the funky eyebrow piercing, or the labrets or the bull rings in the nose. What’s with that?
I remember watching a documentary on the history of tattoos a few years back. And, if my memory serves me, this was a custom that certain tribes used as a coming-of-age status. The idea was to withstand the pain of the tattooing process, and the tattoo was the proof that the boy did endure it and was now a man. They didn’t get the tattoo because of the image, the image was a result of the process. It made sense.
It also made sense that it was for men and not women. Women have their own coming-of-age status symbols. For one, every 28 days, we bleed for a week. The proof that we endure that pain is that everyone in our hut is still alive after the week is done. If that’s not enough, then given the right circumstances, we have live human beings yanked out from our bodies in one way or another. The proof we survived that is well, the child.
But, if even that isn’t enough, then we also have our stretch marks, saggy skin, deformed belly buttons and floppy tits to commemorate the experience. So, what’s with the body altering tattoos and piercings?
I was at the aquarium the other day and I saw a woman with two sons. She was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and on one arm, she had a tattoo of a flower and a boy’s name and a date of birth. On the other arm, she had another tattoo of a flower and the other boy’s name and date of birth. I don’t know why she did that. I talked about it with my husband later and I said that maybe the boys were adopted, and she felt she missed out on the pain and physical body alteration, so she had that done to compensate? Or maybe she suffered short-term memory loss and was constantly afraid of forgetting who those kids were and when they were born? I don’t know. Because otherwise, the boys could just tell you their names and birth dates. It didn’t need to be permanently etched into her skin.
Isn’t it the same with piercings? Weren’t they originally supposed to be proof of pain tolerance? I know some were intended to be solely ornamental. But, bull rings in the nose? Isn’t that just a bad idea? There’s a reason that farmers put the rings in noses of bulls in that particular manner–because the pain is so excruciating, the bull has no choice but to submit to whatever’s pulling on it. Seems like a really, really bad thing for a young woman to voluntarily do to herself, doesn’t it?
Now, I am typically a “live and let live” sort of gal. I really don’t care if someone wants to cover her entire body with green ink and poke herself all full of holes, here, there, and everywhere. But, the idea of mothers doing it irritates me. It irritates me because like I said, we have built-in proofs of pain tolerance. Badges of our unique status already walking around and also forever marking our body. But, rather than make it fashionable to go around showing off those, we’re instead adhering to men’s pain tolerance symbols. Does that seem right? Why not make it really the new cool thing to show off our post-partum bellies? Instead of investing in uncomfortable bras that try to boost our breasts into gravity defying shapes, why not adopt some fashions that let them swing low and free like our tribal sisters? Have pride in the pain and disfigurement that went along with pregnancy and childbirth. Wouldn’t that be the ultimate feminist stance?
Tags: body-piercing, child-birth, Humor, motherhood, stretch-marks, tattoos |
45 Responses to “Pierce This”
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1. Friend said:
May 3, 2008 @ 8:29 pm
I am too scared to comment….are you the Pixie???
2. Amanda said:
May 3, 2008 @ 8:35 pm
I always joke that my dh and I are the only 30-somethings in Austin who aren’t pierced (besides the ears) and/or tatooed. I have never understood the fascination, either. In college, I thought about it, but then though about the pain and the fact that I was going to be some super-duper power-suit person and that cute ankle tat I considered would show. I certainly get the cultural significance, but I don’t see the significance in *my* culture.
3. Rita said:
May 3, 2008 @ 8:40 pm
But, for making a bold, non-conformist, feminist fashion statement, I still think that baring our mom-scars (instead of hiding them and wishing them gone) would be outrageous.
4. Kennedy said:
May 3, 2008 @ 8:47 pm
I don’t like tatoos. I admit I am judgemental when I see someone with a lot of tatoos, ecspecially someone who’s a mom. I know I shouldn’t be, but I am. That’s just me. I know that doesn’t mean she’s a bad parent or person. I know most of them probably got their tatoo(s) long before they even had children. I guess when I see a tatoo, it makes me think of other things that I see as a negative, and I wonder about that parent.
5. Friend said:
May 3, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
Does it bug you that Kate has one or 2? Growing up in her Christian faith…still being a Christian….maybe she had a lapse???? I don’t know….
6. Jojo said:
May 3, 2008 @ 9:03 pm
I don’t think that being a Christian has much to do with tattoos - some Christians have so much faith that they even have crosses tattoed on their own bodies!
7. Prescott said:
May 3, 2008 @ 9:15 pm
[quote comment="160011"]I don’t think that being a Christian has much to do with tattoos - some Christians have so much faith that they even have crosses tattoed on their own bodies![/quote]
So sayeth Jay Bakker.
8. Friend said:
May 3, 2008 @ 9:29 pm
In my father’s Church and in the LDS faith it is considered a sin….I am fairly neutral on this but am intrigued by the Prince Albert…is that supposed to enhance something….
9. Rita said:
May 3, 2008 @ 10:00 pm
10. Prescott said:
May 3, 2008 @ 11:20 pm
It’s more my completely useless knack of hanging on to useless information, like the fact that Jay Bakker is a God freak with a bunch of tattoos. Google does the rest — I had not seen that article before quickly searching for a link to explain my reference.
And a tangent to give you a little glimpse into my childhood, my mom gave me Tammy Sue Bakker’s album when I was a teen to supposedly counteract those evil influences of Motley Crue and Dio. Apparently it didn’t work.
Got me this when I was younger, too.
11. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 4, 2008 @ 12:11 am
[quote comment="160021"][quote comment="160011"]I don’t think that being a Christian has much to do with tattoos - some Christians have so much faith that they even have crosses tattoed on their own bodies![/quote]
So sayeth Jay Bakker.[/quote]Prescott, do you remember Tammy singing ” if life hans you a lemon , make lemon aid”? I think I can safely guess you are not very old! My oldest daughter thought Motley Crew was cool to, And I do not have tattos, but it hs nothing to do ith being a christian, it’s like drinking, some christians do and some don’t. be sides God judges the heart, not our out ward appearance, Is so sayeth, Ha Ha, (Jay Bakker) related to Jim & Tammy? Just curious
12. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 4, 2008 @ 12:16 am
Rita, heres one for ya, can you imagine say in 20- 30 years all the older women running around with tattos? now that will be a sight to see! Have you girls ever watched L.A. Ink or Miami Ink?,Now theres a lot of tattoing on the beaches there, and the reason ppl get them, is unbelieveable,
13. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 4, 2008 @ 12:35 am
Rita, I just went up and read your opening again, that is funny, painful, but funny, I loved that about the boys names being tattoed on mommas arms. Maybe she had a memory loss hehe, How about the tongue pierceing? Oh I hate it when some one is talking to me with a ring in their tongue, makes me want to throw up on them. Really I “m not saying it’s wrong if thats what they want, but as you, I can think of a better place to put my hard earned money, rather my hubbies. see ya later.
14. Meg said:
May 4, 2008 @ 7:22 am
I guess I’m from a totally different background from most of you! My husband and I had tattoos and piercings before we had kids, and we’ve gotten more tattoos since having them. I have a labret, his ears are gauged, etc. It has less to do with being a parent, than it does the kind of occupation and social circle you have. He’s a self-employed classical musician, and I work in the nonprofit and advocacy world. So we get to look the way we want! That mother you saw probably just really loves her kids, and that’s one of the ways she shows it. It worries me that someone might see me and automatically assume I’m a bad mother, without even looking at my children. That’s ridiculous.
15. JamieS said:
May 4, 2008 @ 8:58 am
[quote comment="159970"]I always joke that my dh and I are the only 30-somethings in Austin who aren’t pierced (besides the ears) and/or tatooed. I have never understood the fascination, either. In college, I thought about it, but then though about the pain and the fact that I was going to be some super-duper power-suit person and that cute ankle tat I considered would show. I certainly get the cultural significance, but I don’t see the significance in *my* culture.[/quote]
I have an ankle tatoo. A small one. I got it in my 30’s and don’t regret it. I am in the corporate world with business suits and such and it isn’t a hinderance. Anytime it’s been seen, the comments have been that it’s a shock given my personality. I am not sure how a very small rose can be such a shock. These people aren’t negative and haven’t chanced the way they think about me, life has gone on.
If I were to wear a skirt, venture to see a customer in said skirt, I would probably use a small bandaid to cover it only because business is business in my opinion and I wouldn’t want to distract from that. I’m not ashamed of it.
My tatoo had meaning for me at the time and still does. It’s a deep thing for me and always will be. Will I get another? Probably not. I haven’t found a reason as big as the first time that necessitates it. To each his own.
16. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 9:12 am
And a tangent to give you a little glimpse into my childhood, my mom gave me Tammy Sue Bakker’s album when I was a teen to supposedly counteract those evil influences of Motley Crue and Dio. Apparently it didn’t work.
Got me this when I was younger, too.[/quote]
Oh, I’m so sorry your childhood was like that. Religious abuse is a true, identified thing. But, religious abuse via Tammy Faye Baker is something else entirely. There really ought to be a law against that.
17. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 9:21 am
Well, I think that MOST people wouldn’t look at you and think you’re a bad mother because of the tattoos. But, people make snap judgments about all sorts of things, so you can’t let something like that concern you.
And, yeah, I can see how it’s the fashion within certain circles to engage in that kind of body alteration. I was a social worker in Austin. Like Amanda said, Austin is a very pierced and tattooed population anyway, but in the social service professions, people walked even closer to the fringe with their personal styles.
It just seems that following the lines of history, seeking out the original reasons for piercing and tattooing, it seems that women who do it today for those same reasons (to permanently mark their bodies in some way for their children, like the woman with her sons’ names tattooed on her arms, or as an almost masochistic proof of pain tolerance, like a labret seems), then it’s just already there in childbirth.
18. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 9:26 am
My tatoo had meaning for me at the time and still does. It’s a deep thing for me and always will be. Will I get another? Probably not. I haven’t found a reason as big as the first time that necessitates it. To each his own.[/quote]
I’m not JUDGING anyone’s tattoo-getting or their reasons behind it. I’m just curious about the whole thing.
If I were one of the Dixie Chicks, I think I’d totally be getting those little chicken feet tattoos, too. Or if I win a Pulitzer, I’ll get a little bookworm or something tattooed somewhere. I think it would be very cool to have something really meaningful like that marking you. But, “just because” is something I don’t understand, or to commemorate a child’s birth just seems redundant, when you have the CHILD and all the other body alterations that go along with bearing a child. But, that’s just my opinion, and anyone can feel free to try to convince me differently.
19. Grandma frm Ks. said:
May 4, 2008 @ 9:31 am
Jamie S. I agree with yiu on that about the business world, my oldest grand daughter got one fresh into Boot Camp, two little birds, one a little higher than the other , signifying her leaving home from momma, and joining the military, some of the family started in on our being christians, it has nothing to do with it, She is now a mother, a wife, and has a career, she to covers hers during business hours, The tatoo was some thing she saw on L.A. Or Miami Ink, She loves it, and like you said she would probably not get another one, but I must tell her what Rita said about the mom and 2 boys, a little humor LOL
20. Allison G. said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:02 am
I don’t have a tattoo because it’s something so permanent, and I can’t make my mind up on something I want to be stuck with forever, KWIM?
I had a dream one night that I had the 4 South Park kids tattooed on my full calf, bright colors and everything. And I freaked out in the dream, “Eeew. South Park? Why did I do that? Now it’s there forever!” I woke up on a panic!
I agree with Grandma from KS in post #12. What will these folks look like with their tattos in 30+ years. I saw a gal in her 20’s I guess, with a tattoo on her (front) neck/throat that said “Bitch” in olde English letters. Now how is that going to look when she’s an old lady trying to take a family picture with her grandkids? The kids will be yelling at her “Eeew. Grandma. Put on a scarf or something!”
Or when she’s in her casket, and family at her funeral will be viewing her?
My friend’s son started getting tattoos right when he turned 18. Her final straw was when she needed his help at a wedding (she’s a photographer) and he showed up with his newest tat: a crudely drawn SKATEBOARD on the top of his HAND. She was so embarrassed. “How can I present myself as a professional when you show up looking like that? You can’t even cover it up!”
When I was in 8th grade my best friend, who obviously was too young for tattoos, would cut her boyfriends’(plural!)initials into her ankle, creeping up her calf. New boyfriend, new set. Everytime. She never stopped. New ones were scabby, old ones were scars. I just cringed everytime I saw it! But I think she had a messed up homelife.
But my older sister’s friend did the same thing when he dated my cousin. And his homelife was substantially better than my friend’s. Is this a trend or something????
21. Ann Marie said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:06 am
I’m so plain whitebread that I had to google labret (oh, this is what my stepson has) and gauged ear and the Prince Albert (wow) LOL. Honestly I don’t get it, but to each his own. I just tell my kids that to be different is NOT to get any of that done since it seems like everyone does it. Honestly, I would hope they didn’t do piercings and tatoos but I’d just pretend it doesn’t bother me. Wow, the Jim Bakker page was interesting. I got sidetracked bigtime on that page, the lady who sews for the KKK? Wow.
22. Allison J said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:20 am
I couldn’t care less about people judging me based on my tattoos. I have 6 — although all but four are completely concealed. The two “exposed” tats reside on the inside of one ankle the outside of another.
Until I began teaching I also had a tongue ring.
I didn’t get tattoos to show my pain tolerance. I got them because I wanted them. Each holds a specific meaning that I never feel compelled to share with others. It’s a personal choice.
For myself, and the other gals I know that have tattoos (a mix of moms and not moms yet), it had NOTHING to do with showing we could take the same pain as men. I don’t think it has to be as complicated as many people make it out to be.
I really don’t understand why mothers having tattoos or piercings is irritating. Just because you have procreated you should steer clear of tats and piercings because you have endured child birth? It’s OK for dads because they haven’t had to go through labor?
Different strokes…
23. julymom said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:29 am
I don’t have any tats or piercings (except one in each ear that I got when I was about 2). Dh has 2 tats. One on each arm. I hate, hate, hate them, but what can I do? He has them high up on his arms because he doesn’t want them to show when he’s wearing a short sleeve shirt. He says they are for him, not to show everyone else. The first one he got is a Celtic band around his upper bicep, which he got to commerate getting a certain rank in the Army (it was a big deal to him) and the Celtic knot he chose means strength or something like that. The second one, he just go 2 months ago and I think is horrible. He’s a HUGE Beatles fan, even though he and I were born the year they broke up, and he got a splay of cards (all Aces) with the cover of the Beatles Help album on the front card. Yuck. He got it when he graduated Officer school. It can only been seen if he has his shirt off. He’s promised me there will be no more. I keep telling him when he’s 70 and his biceps are all old man wrinkly John, Paul, George and Ringo are going to look sad.
I will not get one. I dislike needles and can’t imagine paying someone so much money to use one on me. Also, we attend a lot of formal military functions and it drives me crazy to see women in these beautiful formal gowns with tats all over them. It looks trashy. Also, it 20-30 years are they still going to want them?
24. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:39 am
I really don’t understand why mothers having tattoos or piercings is irritating. Just because you have procreated you should steer clear of tats and piercings because you have endured child birth? It’s OK for dads because they haven’t had to go through labor?
Different strokes…[/quote]
OK, I hate to micro-debate like this, but you have this habit of really personalizing a lot of things people say. This isn’t about judging choices, it’s about just not understanding them.
My whole slant of this was from a historical standpoint and how we have obviously gotten off of the historical reasons for doing these things. Historically, it WAS to prove pain tolerance and used as a coming-of-age ritual for men.
I was just pondering that IF it was being used for that, then women, particularly mother, are ignoring the built-in pain tolerance and coming-of-age rituals that come with being a woman, and mother.
It’s not about “OK” or “not OK.” And my word choice of “irritating” was just to push the idea I was presenting–that wouldn’t it be cool and alternative and way “out there” to display our badges of womanhood/motherhood proudly instead of hiding them and adopting other (historically male) body ornaments instead.
It was just a commentary about what I perceive as a bit of a double standard. Women being “fringe” by doing these things to their bodies, to make a statement of some sort, when they have things already on their bodies to make statements. But, instead of embracing and celebrating the entirely womanly body alterations of our own, we hide them and wish them away and adopt other ways to establish our status (the tattoos and body piercings). Largely, the culture that engages in that kind of stuff is the alternative or fringe, so the women do seem to be trying to make some sort of statement about their place in society. It’s not that it follows me around and bugs me, but when I see a mother with her sons’ names and birthdates tattooed on her arms, and I also SEE her sons, it just kind of makes me wonder what her reason for doing that was.
I was also thinking about that lady earlier this morning and wondering what it would look like if I did a little combo of these things. Take my belly with the stretch marks and c-section scars and then tattoo arrows with the kids’ names and birthdates, pointing to specific scars. That way I could credit each child with his or her own personal damage to my body.
But, if I ever do that, then I should be glad I had c-sections, because tattooing around episiotomy scars would really suck. And, the art would only be visible to my husband and my doctor, who wouldn’t need to see it, since they were both there for the original event.
25. Allison J said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:50 am
Oh, I think you like to debate. But so do I. That’s what makes for interesting commentary. It’s hard not to personalize things — I think we all do it. Everyone approaches these blogs with a personalized viewpoint.
I just don’t think anyone really has to understand the reasoning behind tats and piercings. My point was that I don’t think it’s typically about women showing that they can handle a manly level of pain tolerance. For some, maybe it is. I have just never seen it from that perspective.
26. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 10:57 am
It’s not about manly pain tolerance, it’s that the POINT of the body altering has been lost and turned into something else. But, from what I understand about labrets in particular is that those ARE about the adrenaline/pain thrill. It’s very little reward (just that little decorative stud that’s visible) for a whole WHOLE lotta pain. It seems that the cultural motivation for doing that is to prove having suffered the process.
27. JamieS said:
May 4, 2008 @ 11:01 am
[quote comment="160153"][quote comment="160149"]
My tatoo had meaning for me at the time and still does. It’s a deep thing for me and always will be. Will I get another? Probably not. I haven’t found a reason as big as the first time that necessitates it. To each his own.[/quote]
I’m not JUDGING anyone’s tattoo-getting or their reasons behind it. I’m just curious about the whole thing.
If I were one of the Dixie Chicks, I think I’d totally be getting those little chicken feet tattoos, too. Or if I win a Pulitzer, I’ll get a little bookworm or something tattooed somewhere. I think it would be very cool to have something really meaningful like that marking you. But, “just because” is something I don’t understand, or to commemorate a child’s birth just seems redundant, when you have the CHILD and all the other body alterations that go along with bearing a child. But, that’s just my opinion, and anyone can feel free to try to convince me differently.[/quote]
Rita,
I didn’t think you were judging at all. I didn’t take your words that way. I just explained mine.
I do agree in a sense that I’ve seen people get them (Kat VonD), a young beautiful girl with all of these tatoos and I don’t understand it. I’ve been told they are addicting. What, the pain? It hurts like hell. At least on me it did. So, sometimes I don’t understand it either.
As to live children and birthdate pictures, I don’t get that either. I do get a memorial tatoo and if God forbid something happened to one of my children, that might be the one reason I would get another one. It would be a very personal thing for me and probably the only one that I’d never regret besides the one I have.
Piercings are a total question mark for me. Women and earrings, okay and even one on a man I can accept but outside of cultural reasons what is the point?
28. Allison J said:
May 4, 2008 @ 11:05 am
Full sleeves, especially on a gal, certainly makes a statement. I think it’s more symbolic of a lifestyle choice.
Like everything in society, tattoos, piercings, and their purposes have evolved.
I know that certain piercings also have a connection to sexual pleasure. Now I’d rather die… but hey, whatever gets you off (pun intended).
29. Friend said:
May 4, 2008 @ 11:16 am
Allison J,
I am sure that the student’s parents would thank u if they could for your descion to remove your tongue ring!
30. Rita said:
May 4, 2008 @ 11:21 am
And yeah, I do. Sadly. It’s not something I’m always proud of (as discussed on my own blog recently), but yes, I am easily drawn to debate.