Comments on: Socially retarded http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/ Parenting, Politics and News for the Perfectly Challenged Wed, 08 Oct 2008 11:43:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Jen http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159914 Jen Sat, 03 May 2008 22:08:57 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159914 Wow do I feel this post! After Moving from New York to Michigan and now 2 years in San Francisco, I can tell you location is everything! I just don't fit in here, the parks are full of nannies, I have found them to be exceptionally kind but otherwise I find it hard to relate to any Moms here. I'm pretty content to just be with my son though, but sometimes I do feel a little like an outsider when I see Mom's in playgroups. When I went back to Michigan to visit with my son it was sort of a relief. I was constantly chatting with other Moms everywhere I went. Maybe I'm a Mom snob:) Wow do I feel this post! After Moving from New York to Michigan and now 2 years in San Francisco, I can tell you location is everything! I just don’t fit in here, the parks are full of nannies, I have found them to be exceptionally kind but otherwise I find it hard to relate to any Moms here. I’m pretty content to just be with my son though, but sometimes I do feel a little like an outsider when I see Mom’s in playgroups. When I went back to Michigan to visit with my son it was sort of a relief. I was constantly chatting with other Moms everywhere I went. Maybe I’m a Mom snob:)

]]> By: Rita. http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159506 Rita. Fri, 02 May 2008 15:36:32 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159506 [quote comment="159487"] Of course, I live in the south. We're nicer to each other down here. ;-)[/quote] That is true. You're also in a down-to-earth urban atmosphere. Not an uptight, uppity midwestern suburb, or a snooty, dripping with riches urbane cesspool. I think that where you live has a LOT to do with who you meet. If we moved about 15 miles west, then our demographics would be enormously different and I'd be meeting a totally different group of women at the pre-school and the playgrounds. I like my area because of the conveniences, the low crime rate, the nature paths, the proximity to dh's workplace, the educational system and the easy availability for safe and good recreational activities for my kids. So, it's a choice to live here. I'm not a victim, I could move somewhere else, but what I'd be gaining in my own socialization and mental stimulation would mean a loss in another area. It would be great to find a place where everything came together for everyone, but that's just not what it is right HERE, right NOW. [quote comment="159487"] Of course, I live in the south. We’re nicer to each other down here. ;-)[/quote]

That is true. You’re also in a down-to-earth urban atmosphere. Not an uptight, uppity midwestern suburb, or a snooty, dripping with riches urbane cesspool. I think that where you live has a LOT to do with who you meet.

If we moved about 15 miles west, then our demographics would be enormously different and I’d be meeting a totally different group of women at the pre-school and the playgrounds.

I like my area because of the conveniences, the low crime rate, the nature paths, the proximity to dh’s workplace, the educational system and the easy availability for safe and good recreational activities for my kids. So, it’s a choice to live here. I’m not a victim, I could move somewhere else, but what I’d be gaining in my own socialization and mental stimulation would mean a loss in another area. It would be great to find a place where everything came together for everyone, but that’s just not what it is right HERE, right NOW.

]]> By: Allison G. http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159497 Allison G. Fri, 02 May 2008 15:16:12 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159497 I love my MOMS group. Before I met them, we lived next to our landlords and knew NOBODY at all. So they introduced us to all of their friends. I knew about 80% of the seniors in my town! I was craving friendship from other moms, and at their 'open house' they welcomed me graciously. They are such wonderful friends to me! I hope you do find frienship in other moms. Just strike up a conversation, you might be happily surprised. I love my MOMS group. Before I met them, we lived next to our landlords and knew NOBODY at all. So they introduced us to all of their friends. I knew about 80% of the seniors in my town!
I was craving friendship from other moms, and at their ‘open house’ they welcomed me graciously. They are such wonderful friends to me!
I hope you do find frienship in other moms. Just strike up a conversation, you might be happily surprised.

]]> By: Kristy http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159487 Kristy Fri, 02 May 2008 14:58:03 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159487 I don't know about that. It just hasn't been my experience. Just about anytime I'm out and see a mom with kids my age, I will strike up a conversation and am usually met with a grateful smile and conversation. I belong to an on-line Moms' board that also sponsors (and requires minimal participation in) real-world playgroups (both large and very small), clothing swaps, MNOs, etc, and I know that one particular mom, who does not fit anyone's idea of the posh, put-together soccer mom is personally responsible for about 80 of the group's member joining because she would go up to any mom, anywhere, and introduce herself and tell people about the group. Time and again, those women will say "We had just moved here/I was a freaking-out new mom/ I was so lonely and depressed, and if S. hadn't spoken to me I'd probably still be in that place." It has been my experience that most newish moms are lonely and want mom friends. Of course, I live in the south. We're nicer to each other down here. ;-) I don’t know about that. It just hasn’t been my experience. Just about anytime I’m out and see a mom with kids my age, I will strike up a conversation and am usually met with a grateful smile and conversation. I belong to an on-line Moms’ board that also sponsors (and requires minimal participation in) real-world playgroups (both large and very small), clothing swaps, MNOs, etc, and I know that one particular mom, who does not fit anyone’s idea of the posh, put-together soccer mom is personally responsible for about 80 of the group’s member joining because she would go up to any mom, anywhere, and introduce herself and tell people about the group. Time and again, those women will say “We had just moved here/I was a freaking-out new mom/ I was so lonely and depressed, and if S. hadn’t spoken to me I’d probably still be in that place.”

It has been my experience that most newish moms are lonely and want mom friends. Of course, I live in the south. We’re nicer to each other down here. ;-)

]]> By: Friend http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159431 Friend Fri, 02 May 2008 05:25:34 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159431 [quote comment="159238"]People never change...Mothers can be so "high school"...It only gets worse as your children get older![/quote] That sadly is the truth...there are cliques on the soccer fields, around the swimming pool...their is always an ALPHA....Just like Highschool...Is it because we are women...men don't seem to have that problem...it IS hard!!! I just did all the expected things...Mommy and Me, Playgroups, Library....we were at least getting out...kept me looking good. Women are bitches...I would much rather hang with the guys. Just keep smiling...you are doing the best you can!!! [quote comment="159238"]People never change…Mothers can be so “high school”…It only gets worse as your children get older![/quote]

That sadly is the truth…there are cliques on the soccer fields, around the swimming pool…their is always an ALPHA….Just like Highschool…Is it because we are women…men don’t seem to have that problem…it IS hard!!! I just did all the expected things…Mommy and Me, Playgroups, Library….we were at least getting out…kept me looking good. Women are bitches…I would much rather hang with the guys. Just keep smiling…you are doing the best you can!!!

]]> By: Philly http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159259 Philly Thu, 01 May 2008 21:51:40 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159259 I always stayed away from them bitches and guess what, my kids are grown and I see them now all primped up at the gym . I always stayed away from them bitches and guess what, my kids are grown and I see them now all primped up at the gym .

]]> By: Queen Bee http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159241 Queen Bee Thu, 01 May 2008 20:38:31 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159241 [quote comment="159239"][quote comment="159237"]I feel this post! You are sooo funny and engaging. I too am not the cliquey mom, and I tend to be rather a homebody with my family (somehow we are all a little like that at my house). I would share grilled cheese and pooflections with you any day my friend, any day :)[/quote] Well god, what are you waiting for? I've got cheddar AND swiss. I also have this yummy lavender goat cheese with fennel pollen. Or something like that...[/quote] Wow, put on the grill I'm on my way LOL! [quote comment="159239"][quote comment="159237"]I feel this post! You are sooo funny and engaging. I too am not the cliquey mom, and I tend to be rather a homebody with my family (somehow we are all a little like that at my house). I would share grilled cheese and pooflections with you any day my friend, any day :)[/quote]

Well god, what are you waiting for? I’ve got cheddar AND swiss. I also have this yummy lavender goat cheese with fennel pollen. Or something like that…[/quote]

Wow, put on the grill I’m on my way LOL!

]]> By: Queen Bee http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159240 Queen Bee Thu, 01 May 2008 20:37:52 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159240 Isn't that the truth! I think I find it especially hard at sporting events like my son's soccer games. I am always the mom with the 'just have fun' attitude and the mommy clothes, while the rest of them are of the 'win don't whine' attitude and dressed to impress. Isn’t that the truth! I think I find it especially hard at sporting events like my son’s soccer games. I am always the mom with the ‘just have fun’ attitude and the mommy clothes, while the rest of them are of the ‘win don’t whine’ attitude and dressed to impress.

]]> By: Tracy http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159239 Tracy Thu, 01 May 2008 20:35:44 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159239 [quote comment="159237"]I feel this post! You are sooo funny and engaging. I too am not the cliquey mom, and I tend to be rather a homebody with my family (somehow we are all a little like that at my house). I would share grilled cheese and pooflections with you any day my friend, any day :)[/quote] Well god, what are you waiting for? I've got cheddar AND swiss. I also have this yummy lavender goat cheese with fennel pollen. Or something like that... [quote comment="159237"]I feel this post! You are sooo funny and engaging. I too am not the cliquey mom, and I tend to be rather a homebody with my family (somehow we are all a little like that at my house). I would share grilled cheese and pooflections with you any day my friend, any day :)[/quote]

Well god, what are you waiting for? I’ve got cheddar AND swiss. I also have this yummy lavender goat cheese with fennel pollen. Or something like that…

]]> By: smja2a http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159238 smja2a Thu, 01 May 2008 20:34:25 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2008/05/01/socially-retarded/#comment-159238 People never change...Mothers can be so "high school"...It only gets worse as your children get older! People never change…Mothers can be so “high school”…It only gets worse as your children get older!

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