Cowardice
Posted
April 29, 2008 at
8:25 am by
Misty
I’m a coward, and a hypocrite, and all before 8 in the morning. It’s gonna be a long day.
I always swore I was going to be direct with my child about matters of nature and death. I grew up hunting with my dad on one hand, and breeding cats with my mom on the other–I was never a child who had any illusions about animals, their place in the world or my dinner plate, or their deaths. I think I’m pretty healthy, so my husband and I decided we’d raise our daughter the same way.
Until the baby bunny, that is.
This past weekend our post-war suburban neighborhood underwent something of an unprompted, unofficial ritual, the First Mowing of Spring. It must have flushed out some wildlife, because yesterday evening we found a small juvenile rabbit crouching terrified in our lawn, not even enough instinct yet to run when people approached it. The neighborhood is overrun with large cats; he wouldn’t have lasted the night. And I have this thing about helpless infant creatures. So sue me.
We followed Operation Wildlife’s instructions, caught it with a towel, didn’t let the kid pet it, didn’t feed it, and closed it up in a box, which we put on top of the fridge, out of the way of curious three-year-old girls. Since their intake facility was closed when we called, we planned to take the poor thing in when my husband got home from work today.
Around 11 I was sitting in the living room enjoying a glass of wine and some Aqua Teen Hunger Force, when suddenly I look down and there’s a baby bunny on the floor. WTF? Checked the box–yeah, that’s our bunny. So I caught him again, put him back in his box, weighted the top down this time, and poked some airholes.
This morning Penny wakes up, and of course, wants to see the bunny first thing. I open the box and . . . dead bunny. Stiff, already. Oh, shit.
“The baby bunny’s sick right now, baby. We have to give him lots of quiet, so we can’t look at him now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Sick. Yeah. I wimped out. Instead of being Spartan Mom, and explaining to her about how sometimes animals we try to help just don’t make it, I told her it was sick. Then called my husband, and we conspired together. The bunny will be “sick” all day, and he will dispose of it while she’s napping this afternoon. When she wakes up, we’ll tell her Daddy had to take the bunny to the bunny hospital.
Well, hell. I feel bad enough already about the poor thing dying in my care without the kid going around all day brokenhearted. I’ll be Spartan Mom another day, perhaps with roadkill that wasn’t my fault.
Tags: bunnies, death, facts-of-life, Family, rabbits, wildlife |
4 Responses to “Cowardice”
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1. Rita. said:
April 29, 2008 @ 10:51 am
I’d have done the same thing. Actually I HAVE done the same thing. But, it was with a bunch of baby ducks in our front bushes. The mom was sitting on the eggs there and we were all enamored with her. No dad duck though, and that should have been an omen. The the mother duck didn’t come back one day and it was a really cold and windy day, and when we peeked at the eggs, they were hatched and the contents had passed to a better world.
My middle kid was about 7 at the time and so very eagerly anticipating the baby ducks. We flat out lied to her. DH laid the poor things gently to rest while she was at school and then we told her that the mother must’ve moved them because they’re gone.
We just couldn’t traumatize her with the truth. Life is hard and full of cruel pain and death, there’s no point in introducing it to them at the first possible opportunity. A dead baby bunny in her house would have done that, traumatized her, I believe.
Now, my kids have had their gerbils die (and they’ve seen the dead gerbils) and we’ve had one cat and one dog die (at the vet’s office), but somehow that’s different. It’s not something new and alien and impossibly cute that’s just introduced and then lost. For some reason that’s just too sad.
2. Philly said:
April 29, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
I guess I’m a horrible mother. When we moved in our home my daughter was 3.
We have an in ground pool out back, secured safely for the little ones.
One morning my daughter and I went out to clean up and there was a dead bunny in the pool.
I told her that is what happens when you go near the pool without your mother !!1 LOL
3. Friend said:
April 29, 2008 @ 10:21 pm
In my opinion you did the right thing Mom! Clearly at 3 life and death is intellectually too deep of a subject. You did what any good and caring Mom would. You protected her. She has plenty of time to be exposed to life’s pains and sorrows. Was it a lie? Yea, but I believe there are certain times when it is ok to lie.
4. Friend said:
April 29, 2008 @ 10:26 pm
Philly,
I really don’t think that makes you a horrible mother. There isn’t a right or wrong on this IMO-you just chose a different route.
My mom is not in my life….I told myself when my daughter was astute enough to figure it out, the questions would come. That happened to be in a drop of lane at Kindergarten. I pulled out, parked the car and talked until the questions stopped.
I guess my point is, you did what you thought was best and right for your kid.
Maybe I am just tired and that wasn;t even relevant…oh well.