Boobs, nuns, and savings plans

Posted April 20, 2008 at 8:30 pm by Misty

These conversations always seem to happen when I’m elbow-deep in bread dough.

“Jump, Mommy kangaroo, jump with me!”

“Not now, Baby kangaroo.”

“Jump with me!”

“Mommy kangaroo hasn’t been that big into jumping since puberty, hon.”

“Mommy kangaroo has big boobies. I’ve got little boobies. When I get really bigger, I’ll have big boobies and then I can’t jump.”

What am I teaching her with my laziness and unsupportive bras? That she can’t jump once she gets boobs?

Then again, there’s genetics. I was a C-cup in sixth grade. Her father’s mother didn’t sprout until high school, but by the time she graduated she was 40-24-36. Unless there’s something *very* freaky in the water, my little munchkin is going to look like she’s 20 before she gets her learner’s permit.

“Honey?”

“What is it?”

“You’ve got financial planning with your company, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“You need to make an appointment with them. Discuss savings plans with the goal of being able to afford a Swiss convent school in about ten years.”

“Is Penny talking about her boobies again?”

“You know it.”

“Have you tried telling her she’s really a boy?”

“Honey, we can’t afford private school. You think we’re going to be able to foot *those* kinds of therapy bills?”

“Point made. Just start in with the ’sex is evil’ talk.”

“I’d rather leave it to the nuns.”

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Tags: awkward-conversations, boobies, boobs, breasts, convent-schools, Humor, nuns, toddlers

3 Responses to “Boobs, nuns, and savings plans”

1. 1. Rita. said:
   April 21, 2008 @ 8:09 am

   LOL, that is funny. They make some really good supportive sports bras now. But, that’s not why I won’t jump. Jumping is fucking hard. It hurts your knees and your back and it rattles your brain around in your head a bit, giving you that unpleasant vertigo, so you have to just go lie down for a little while. It’s a lot like drugs, I guess after a while you realize that the immediate euphoria of it at the time isn’t worth what you have to pay for it later.

2. 2. Jessica said:
   April 21, 2008 @ 6:58 pm

   Yeah, I’ve heard that the nuns at Catholic schools are incredibly graphic and lewd during sex education. This is what one of my friends told me and insisted that it was true. Probably pulling my leg since I am so gullible.

   Plus, I’m not sure if Catholics are in any position to be discussing healthy sex, considering…

3. 3. Misty said:
   April 23, 2008 @ 9:27 pm

   Heh. My mother-in-law must have had the best Catholic education experience in the world. She got nuns who taught her that sex was a beautiful and incredibly fun thing to be enjoyed, often and enthusiastically, with her spouse. So you can imagine her disappointment when her wedding night finally came around, she stuffed her amazingly sexy figure into a flimsy nighty, hyper-excited about FINALLY indulging all those naughty feelings . . . and her new husband turns out to have been educated by the “sex is evil and dirty” nuns. Poor lady.

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