1. Rita.

April 10, 2008 @ 6:39 pm

I had insane PPD with my second child and it was all focused on how long it was taking to lose that weight. I was still actively going to tae kwon do classes up until week 36 of that pregnancy and I didn’t gain much weight, so I really expected it to just melt off, and it didn’t. Plus I was really active, getting out of the house a lot, so everywhere I went, people asked me when I was due.

I went on a big self-hating thing about it, where I wouldn’t even leave the house then and just went on and on about how hideous I was. My husband (who is usually not this insightful), told me to look at our daughter and imagine her grown up and looking exactly like I did then. He told me to stand there and tell my grown up daughter that she’s hideous, that her fat body is disgusting, that she looks like a monster and all the things that I said or thought about myself. It just completely changed my outlook, because of course my daughter will always be beautiful, even if she looked exactly like I did those couple months right after giving birth.

I’ve never looked back since. Yeah, I could use some improving, but the self-hatred is gone about it. And I never, NEVER criticize my appearance at all in front of my kids. I’ll express dislike over a haircut or something, but not anything lasting like my body since I’ve had kids, or the wrinkles around my eyes.

2. Allison G

April 11, 2008 @ 10:34 am

I always thought I “hated” those women who give birth and end up their pre-pregnancy weight a week after delivery……… until I realized that I WAS one of those women, and I had to own the fact that had I gotten pregnant at, say 120lbs, I could have stayed 120 lbs. But no, I got pregnant at 153lbs. And now new-motherhood made my schedule a lot less Weight-Loss-Pogram-Accommodatitng. I mean, I WAS in my pre-preg jeans a week after delivery, I just wish I had worked my ass off before the preg so those jeans would have bee a size 8.

But, Rita. I completely agree with what you said about looking at your own daughter and how you/she will view her body after she gives birth.

3. Deltasierra

April 11, 2008 @ 10:52 am

I’m six-weeks postpartum with my first child – but I also just turned 30, and have never really been “skinny”, especially post-adolescence – so I don’t know how long it will take me to get back into some semblance of shape.

Believe it or not, I actually feel pretty darn sexy – well, with clothing on, at least. My saggy-baggy belly (stretch-mark-tastic!) is kind of an eyesore, but the right clothing shows off the figure and not the flab.

I developed gestational diabetes during my second trimester and had to control it through diet. That ended up being very good for me, because I was losing weight toward the end. Unfortunately, after having the baby, they gave me the go-ahead to eat anything I wanted, and I kind of fell off the wagon (okay, “jumped off with glee”), and have been having a hard time catching back up with it (not that I’ve really wanted to).

Thankfully, my husband is really supportive (and utterly blind, apparently, or perhaps just utterly focused on my double-D gift from the boobie fairy), and tells me I’m sexy all the time, whistles at me, and generally loves the negative feelings right out of me. I’m also kind of excited to get back into my martial arts classes again and work this flab right off.

I’ve had a negative body image most of my life, even when I was “skinny” in high school (which wasn’t skinny enough for my parents or anyone who had to weigh me), so pregnancy kind of gave me an out. The fact that I was doing so well at the end made those who tsk-tsked my initial BMI reading (obese at 5′3″ and 169 lbs! Shameful!) happy. I was only ten pounds off my “goal” weight. How in the world do you only gain 16 lbs with your first pregnancy, when you’re on the cusp of turning 30 and dying of hunger your first trimester, instead of throwing everything up like you’re supposed to? I weighed 25 lbs heavier when I gave birth than when they weighed me at 5 weeks, but now I’m back to that 5 week weight. It’s the *pre*-pregnancy weight I have to lose!

This all sounds kind of rose-colored, but we’ll see how I feel when my son is a year old and I’m still working off the belly and thighs.

4. Rita.

April 11, 2008 @ 2:36 pm

[quote comment="154617"]
I developed gestational diabetes during my second trimester and had to control it through diet. That ended up being very good for me, because I was losing weight toward the end. Unfortunately, after having the baby, they gave me the go-ahead to eat anything I wanted, and I kind of fell off the wagon (okay, “jumped off with glee”), and have been having a hard time catching back up with it (not that I’ve really wanted to).

[/quote]

I did that with my third, too. Oh, God, my dh was so sweet, he brought me white fudge covered oreos and Chipotle burritos and pie and everything that I wasn’t able to have for the whole last trimester of that pregnancy. I know that I actually gained weight during that first month home from the hospital! And sleep deprivation tends to make me over eat, too, to compensate for the lack of sleep.

I dunno, if you want to get it off, you can. I gained 65 pounds with number one and lost it all (it took 9 months, but I lost it). Even though the scale said the same number, things did not settle back exactly the same as they were pre-preg though.

#2, I gained 30 lbs and lost it all in 5 months. I was doing mucho hours of Tae Kwon Do at the time and I did Jenny Craig. My big brag after that one was that I took second place at a big tournament three months post partum (post c-section!). But, even in that great shape and with my weight down to normal, my belly was even bigger than before (abdominal diastasis).

#3 I haven’t lost the weight yet. But, because of those abdominal injuries I had, I did get the diastasis fixed, lol, so my stomach looks as flat as before I had kids (but still have stretch marks, c-section scars and now that vertical crooked line from the two repairs, oh and a cosmetically created belly button, so no bikini, ever).

Give it time and I think your attitude is very healthy.

5. Jessica

April 13, 2008 @ 8:11 am

I normally obsess about my weight and I’m definitely one of those yo-yo dieters. I constantly go up and down.

The problem, when I got pregnant with my first, I was all stressed out and had to take fertility medication and ate my anxiety away. I gained about 55 pounds with him and managed to lose most of it several months after he was born. I had PPD too and it made my hyper and depressed and in that particular psychosis, I didn’t eat.

Then I gained a bunch of weight slowly and got pregnant with my second. I lost all the weight after 6 weeks post-partum because he was 2 months premature and I was so incredibly nervous and freaked out.

After I got him home though and started to feel more comfortable with his health, I gained and gained and wound up weighing more than I did at 9 months pregnant with both of my kids!

I lost a bunch last year but have gained half of that back.

Recently, I joined Life Time Fitness and decided I’m not going to diet anymore. I’m just not going to live half of my dieting. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t last and it’s miserable. I am just going to be healthy. I want to be around for my future grandchildren. I have been working out 3X a week for about a month now and just feel good and I am so happy with that. I love the energy it gives me. The kids love the child-center and swimming pool.

I have an appointment with them to do my body age in about a week, like they do on that show about the overweight children, so I know that is going to be a motivating factor for me. I’ve decided I want to go into my 40’s being just healthy and not watching every little thing I eat. I’ll try to make better choices, but in the end, I just want to have better lung capacity and still play basketball with my boys. For the first time in my life, I’m not stressing about how I look and it’s easy to change how you feel.

6. Rita.

April 13, 2008 @ 8:37 am

[quote comment="155375"]
Recently, I joined Life Time Fitness and decided I’m not going to diet anymore. I’m just not going to live half of my dieting. It’s not worth it. It doesn’t last and it’s miserable. I am just going to be healthy. I want to be around for my future grandchildren. I have been working out 3X a week for about a month now and just feel good and I am so happy with that. I love the energy it gives me. The kids love the child-center and swimming pool.

I have an appointment with them to do my body age in about a week, like they do on that show about the overweight children, so I know that is going to be a motivating factor for me. I’ve decided I want to go into my 40’s being just healthy and not watching every little thing I eat. I’ll try to make better choices, but in the end, I just want to have better lung capacity and still play basketball with my boys. For the first time in my life, I’m not stressing about how I look and it’s easy to change how you feel.[/quote]

I think that is soooo healthy, Jessica. That’s pretty much my plan, too. I do want to lose some actual lbs, but I’d rather do it slowly by eating the right things, and enjoying the process rather than putting stress on myself to get down to a certain number by any method that’s handy.

Exercising is so important, not only for health (which is #1), but it really does improve how you look and how you see yourself. Those years I was really active in martial arts were so beneficial for me in so many ways.

I did NOT get approval to go back to TKD class, by the way. I was told I need to really built up the abdominal muscles that have atrophied over this past year from the surgery recovery, and then we can see whether they’re strong enough to withstand an actual class. But, even still, that doesn’t sound very promising. I’m thinking about a yoga class this summer.

Anyway, I really think that you’re going about your plan in the right way, and good for you!