When did it become acceptable to be knocked-up at 16?
Posted
March 27, 2008 at
10:00 am by
Allison J
I consider myself pretty liberal, but this is too much.
I’m perusing the web, checking out People.com and the like, and stop dead in my tracks – Jamie Lynn Spears is allegedly engaged to the child that impregnated her. But the shocking part is how people (including celebs) are celebrating her choices. I’ve seen countless sites that praise her for “taking responsibility” for her actions. WTF?!?!?! Strapping on a condom or popping a birth control pill would have been taking responsibility. Or how about not having sex at 16?
It is my understanding that her hit Nickolodeon show, Zoey 101 (which is a show for CHILDREN), is coming back on the air for another season. AND Spears is appearing in an episode of Miss Guided – which airs at 8pm.
Again, WTF! Are you kidding me? This is insane – she is 16 years old. If I had gotten knocked-up at 16 my mother would have beat me, not phoned OK Magazine for an exclusive interview. And I highly doubt anyone would be applauding my choice for “taking responsibility.”
It has become too easy for babies to have babies – young people who put themselves in these situations are offered free or drastically reduced college education, food stamps, welfare, daycare assistance, cheap health insurance and housing assistance (at least in NY state). Where are my freebies? I didn’t get pregnant as a teen – and now I’m saddled with more than $40k in school loans, a mortgage payment, insane grocery bills, and costly health care coverage. My older sister, who is expecting her first child this summer, will have to pay out the nose for daycare while she is teaching second graders. Where did we go wrong?
Tags: assistance for teen parents, Jamie Lynn Spears, pregnant teens, Social Issues, teen parents, teen pregnancy, young mothers, young parents
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21 Responses to “When did it become acceptable to be knocked-up at 16?”
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1. Rita said:
March 27, 2008 @ 10:20 am | Quote
OK, while I agree with you on the birth control business, what’s done is done and I agree with how they’re handling it.
One big issue I’ve had with the anti-choicers is that they still punish a woman for having her child out of wedlock. Miss Americas of the past have been deemed unqualified for the crown because they’ve had babies and given them up for adoption, whereas women who aborted kept their secrets and got to compete.
There was a girl in my husband’s extended family who was severely punished (kicked out of the house, not allowed to finish high school) because she got pregnant and had the baby. They scream DON’T ABORT out of one side of their mouths, yet then punish the girl for not aborting. It doesn’t make sense.
I think the Spears girls are screwed up with a capital F, but maybe this kid has some hope? Maybe having this happen now, while she’s still a child, people will intervene on her behalf and she won’t follow down her sister’s trail of self-destruction. It might be in this one, isolated, public case that her getting knocked up might be good for her.
I’m wholeheartedly behind birth control education. I’m 100% pro-choice. But, that means I also need to support the choice of the girl to have the baby if she feels that’s the best choice, and not make life impossible for her or punish her for that choice if an accident does happen.
2. Meg said:
March 27, 2008 @ 6:18 pm | Quote
I was about to post, but realized that Rita pretty much summed it up. While I understand the point of the original article, I couldn’t in good conscious punish someone for having a baby.
3. Meg said:
March 27, 2008 @ 6:20 pm | Quote
Whoops! I meant conscience. Maybe I did mean conscious too. LOL.
4. Misty said:
March 28, 2008 @ 12:01 am | Quote
Since when is it okay to have a kid at sixteen? Well, from G-d-knows-when B.C. until about 1930 A.D., it was not only acceptable, but maybe a little late, relatively. Our current view of childhood and adolescence lasting past your first visit from the cardinal is a tiny blip on the monitor of human civilzation. Our biology doesn’t evolve nearly as quickly as our culture.
Rita, you’ve really made a serious point here. When the shrill pro-lifers start to step up and really, truly *support* the young women who choose to carry their children to term, then I’ll get behind them. Well, probably not, because most of them are asshats, but you see what I’m saying.
5. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 6:59 am | Quote
Yeah, the thing is that NOT having a baby isn’t the same as never having been pregnant. It’s stuff like this that has made abortion the logical choice for women in trouble all these years. I still totally support the right to choose to abort, but I’d really like to see our society become one healthy enough to support women who accidentally get knocked up and choose to have the baby, too.
It’s my firm belief that healthy, stable women in healthy stable, conditions don’t abort their babies. Even when they’re unmarried, or children themselves. I think that it’s our responsibility as a society to make that possible for as many women as we can. It’s our job to lower the abortion rate by fixing as many outside factors as we can, but still let it remain legal for those women who still aren’t in a healthy or stable time of their lives (because that changes throughout our lives, too).
Some of those factors include financial assistance for single mothers who need it, continuing education, low cost day care, food and shelter for women who need assistance, and so on. Regardless of age. Women shouldn’t be discriminated against and have a harder time achieving financial independence because they didn’t abort.
6. DB said:
March 28, 2008 @ 8:40 am | Quote
While I agree that women who choose to keep their babies, at any age, should be applauded, I worry about financially rewarding women to have babies who cannot support them otherwise.
I would rather see a woman abort than have babies and financially gain from it. Even a few extra hundred bucks a month doesn’t assure that the money will be used for it’s purpose and the more aid that a woman receives for having a baby, the more babies she’ll “profit” from.
7. Allison J said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:15 am | Quote
I am pro-choice, but I’m not talking about abortion here. My point is that teenage pregnancy is typically not healthy for anyone involved. Are there instances where things turn out great, yes, I’m sure there is. But again, typically, it is a trainwreck. A 16 year old is not capable of raising a child — and it often falls to parents or grandparents to do the rearing.
And I agree with you 100% DB — $$$ for the state doesn’t assure anything. What is does do is make it easier to not work, or like you said, have another baby.
Maybe it is the area in which I grew up that has made me extremely bitter towards these type of situations. I see people living off of the government all the time.
I am reminded of my uncle, a wonderfully intelligent, caring and kind man. He went through a horrible divorce, lost his job, and because of health and depression issues, he had a VERY hard time finding another. His unemployment expired, and he could not get any other assistance. He was willing to take ANY job, willing to work anywhere for any pay — and was left out to dry. Here was someone who deserved some help, had worked all of his life, raised two children, and always taken responsibility. Then I’d look at people that I knew, who had gotten pregnant young, and were getting food stamps, free health care, housing assistance — and they were perfectly content not to work, because the government was paying the bills.
In many situations, again not all, getting pregnant as a teen is rewarded. You get money for education — that you don’t have to pay back if you never finish. You have your groceries paid for. Health care is covered. Heat bills are paid. Yet these same people have cell phones, nicer clothes that I do, and can apply for assistance for their kids to go to private schools. Come on, are you kidding me!
Where are my rewards? What about those of us who busted are butts to go to college and are paying off $40k school loans? How about rewarding those of us who were responsible enough not to get pregnant at 17. Who have worked since we were 15 or 16, are paying mortgages and taking care of ourselves?
We can’t get rid of assistance — and who knows when one of us may need it one day. But lets not make it so easy for young men and women to bring kids into this world when they are not ready and able.
8. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:16 am | Quote
That’s such a fallacy though. That really doesn’t happen. The ghetto woman who reproduces just for the government checks is an urban legend. The costs of the babies (even feeding them and dressing them neglectfully bad) is far above what the little welfare checks give. It is never cost efficient to have the baby and then get the welfare check. The baby always costs more. It’s much more profitable for her to have the baby and give it up for adoption, you know.
9. Allison J said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:18 am | Quote
Rita, I’m not sure where you are from, but the urban legend that you speak of is alive and well in my hometown. Sad, but true.
10. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:23 am | Quote
11. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:28 am | Quote
Ack! I quoted and submitted before I commented!
Anyway, I’ve never seen these people who are “rewarded” for teen pregnancy. I’ve seen kids who get knocked up and then get some benefits to help them on their feet and then they work hard to support themselves.
Most people on welfare do not stay on welfare. Most people who receive services receive them for a relatively short time. Most people receiving services are women and children. These are numbers you can look up yourself.
You say you’re not talking about abortion, but then you say “But lets not make it so easy for young men and women to bring kids into this world when they are not ready and able.” and if you’re not talking about aborting, then I don’t know what you are talking about.
Nobody. NOBODY reproduces young for the profit of it. It just does not happen. Besides, you’re really just talking about the young women here. The men don’t receive benefits. They’re pretty much off the hook. The teen who has the tenacity to pursue legal action against the guy who knocked her up is a rare breed indeed. She is the one who carries the burden, figuratively and literally.
I am soooo not advocating teen pregnancy, but it just seems like this is a bigger “down with welfare” picture than just girls getting knocked up and getting help with finishing school.
12. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:32 am | Quote
It’s an illusion. Where am I from? Chicago, originally. But, I practiced social work in Cleveland Ohio and Austin Texas, then I lived outside Boston and am now in the midwest. I assure you, I am very well versed in the ins and outs of public aid and it is NOT profitable for a person to have a baby for the welfare checks. You can look up the numbers and crunch them yourself. People in certain areas breed wildly because of ignorance and tradition. Yes, tradition. There is a cultural aspect to having lots of babies and having them young and it is a predominant concern in poverty stricken areas of all colors and races. There are huge tomes of studies about the psychology and social issues behind this, but believe me, “for the welfare checks” isn’t one of them.
13. Allison J said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:38 am | Quote
What I am talking about is NOT MAKING IT EASY! Again, talking about where I am from. Many of the young girls that I see getting pregnant at a young age think it’s cool — and they know they’ll receive plenty of support.
Then you see movies like Juno, Jamie Lynn Spears, and other movies and programs that make teen pregnancy look ok — doable. These movies about teen pregnancy, the shock, the struggle, but in the end all is good! The daddy is around, your family is excited — please!
The boys are an entirely other story — the state should make these young men get jobs — assist them in getting jobs for all I care — and dock their pay for child support. As for the girls — you get six weeks on full assistance — then the state should help them find a job. You can get daycare assistance, AS LONG AS YOU ARE WORKING.
If a lot of these teens knew that 1 - they’ll HAVE TO GET A JOB and 2 - they WOULDN’T get so much assistance — they might think twice about putting on a condom — which is what I am talking about Rita.
Let’s stress birth control and condoms — which are readily available for free or low cost at Planned Parenthood or other clinics.
I am sick of the state of welfare in NY, the assistance that is handed out — but above that, lets not make teen pregnancy look good or easy.
14. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 9:57 am | Quote
Like I said, I’m all for birth control education. I’m a long time (financial and otherwise) supporter of Planned Parenthood. I taught the bad, bad girls in my care at the residential treatment facility in Cleveland how to use condoms and passed them out when they went AWOL or on approved leaves (which was against the rules there, it was a strictly Catholic institution).
But, I think that you’re really coming from a weird angle with this. The “punishment” that these girls get for their teen pregnancy is having to carry and care for an infant at such a young age. It also wreaks havoc on one’s body to be pregnant and give birth. These girls are tossing it all in at such an early age. Regardless of the freebies and assistance they’re getting, I would NEVER trade the life I had from the age of 16 to 25 (when I had my first kid) in exchange for what they’re “getting.” The glamor of being a teen mom is very quickly tarnished when the reality of it sets in.
But, it does seem your bigger issue is with the welfare system itself, and I am not going to argue with that. I’ve gone round and round with those debates before and I’ll never get you to change your mind about it, so I’m not going to bother.
15. DB said:
March 28, 2008 @ 10:09 am | Quote
That’s assuming that all teens or women who get knocked up are acting in the best interest of the baby. Some teens/women don’t see a child as having to give up because the sad truth is, some teens/women don’t give up a darn thing. The ones that sacrifice for their children are the ones that put a child’s best interest first. We cannot assume that all kids who have babies are willing to do this.
16. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 10:14 am | Quote
And they’re in the minority. MOST women who carry their babies and bear them act responsibly. The huge, vast majority do.
If you guys want to concern yourselves with the tiny blip of people who abuse the system, take advantage of handouts, and who neglect their children and get away with it, then so be it. But, whining about it on some blog doesn’t change anything. Volunteer for social services, actually get out there and HELP some people instead of wallowing in false paranoia about someone somewhere maybe gettin’ something they don’t deserve.
17. Allison J said:
March 28, 2008 @ 10:21 am | Quote
Rita, I think we’ve been respectful to your opinion. We all come from different places and times — and have all seen different things. Your experiences haven’t been the same as mine, or anyone else commenting. You have dealt with the social services system and teen pregnancy on one level, me on another.
But it is rude and unnecessary for you to declare that everyone else is whining and wallowing if our views do not match yours.
18. Rita said:
March 28, 2008 @ 11:13 am | Quote
I just call it like I see it, lol.
Really, are these middle-class girls from educated parents? If so, then maybe this is a new trend that I’m unaware of and maybe Juno and Jamie Lynn Spears are fueling something bad. But, my experience with educated middle-class adults is that really like their lifestyles and aren’t going to tolerate rampant breeding of their own children. The glory days of that kind of fad would die young. Plus, I’m not sure for how long a girl from that kind of home life would be able to hold on to government benefits.
But, if you’re talking about poor young girls multiplying like crazy, then that’s old news and more of an anthropological curiosity than a drain on the welfare system. Those girls won’t be swayed either way by whatever people in movies or on TV are doing, because this has been the habit of their people for generations.
19. DB said:
March 28, 2008 @ 1:09 pm | Quote
Obviously we’re not talking about Jamie Lynn Spears having babies in order to take advantage of the system.
I have to disagree — if entitlement was restricted or abolished for welfare babies, and in no way am I suggesting it should be, then women just might have fewer children. That’s not a judgement call, but rather goes to the point that financial help may not be the answer if many are already complacent with their situation.
20. REGINA said:
March 30, 2008 @ 10:28 pm | Quote
I wondered when someone thought some of the same things i do.i told my kids when jamie lynn spears told that she was pregnant why can’t kids that have sex not use condoms or a birth control pill?she is rich(so she could afford it).where i live they give free condoms at a health department,and if u have no job birth control pills are free.but there is no reason jamie lynn spears couldn’t go to her own doctor and get something so she could go on and live her teenage life out.i hope she takes care of her kid and don’t let the father of this baby take it like big sis’s ex hubby did.when i started have sex many years ago i drove myself to my doctor and told him what i wanted and i was 17 and my parents never knew about it.i had my first child after marrying and i was 20 still young but old enough.thanks to you all.I’M HAPPY THAT SHE IS KEEPING THE BABY THOUGH,I HOPE SHE WILL RAISE IT AND NOT PUSH IT OFF TO HER MOM.
21. Rita said:
March 31, 2008 @ 9:08 am | Quote
OK, having birth control available and knowing how to use it does not guarantee no pregnancy though. Go read birth boards. How many OOPSes are there from grown married women? I had a really big oops with my third. So, accidents do happen.