Relocating the weirds.
Posted
March 15, 2008 at
3:50 pm by
Tracy
Hi imperfects! Tracy here (or mommy weirdest, whichever you prefer…) This is my first blog, and I’m pretty sure I should give you a brief synopsis of what I’m “about” before I beg for advice. I’m mom to Paige, who’s seven months old. She hates napping, and garden vegetables. We co-sleep (not because I’m into “attatchment parenting”, but because I simply can’t bear the thought of getting up out of my warm bed at 3am), and she’s got cute dimples. Phil’s my fiannce but I call him my husband because A: it’s easier and B: he will be in two months. He simultaneously drives me insane and makes me want to hug his brains out…we’ve got a Bernese Mountain dog puppy, a strange cat, and we both work fro
m home.
Anyway, here’s the dilemma: Living in New York (and I don’t mean fancy Manhattan, we are talking Staten Island here, land of pizza places and the garbage dump) kind of sucks. It’s expensive, and full of traffic. So we are going to escape…when we first moved into this apartment we were all “oh man it’s so spacious!” but than when had a kid, got a huge dog, and Phil started working from home. His “office” is the second half of our living room. I love him, I swear I do but looking at the back of his head everyday, hearing him open nicorette gum, listening to him CACKLE over some funny “work related thing” is driving me fucking insane. He needs a mancuary. He needs a room with a DOOR…
So, yes like I said in the summer we are renting a house but the decision comes to this my friends, location. His family resides in Staten Island and well, I think they truly believe it’s gods gift to Urbanites. We don’t care what they think…my family lives in New Jersey and being a Jersey girl at heart I’m DOWN with moving to the N.J preferably Morris, Warren, or Sussex county. I want woods in my backyard, I want to hear crickets at night and birds in the morning.
But at heart we really want to take the hell off and move to Asheville North Carolina. It’s our mecca.
The problem: Do we pick up and leave the grandparents missing there only grandchild or do we compromise, move to NJ (which is more expensive, and frankly not as cool) to pacify them so they can come visit? Do I put OUR family first, or think of others? Any thoughts would be great, I’m ready to stop thinking for myself….
(oh and, like how I snuck a picture of Paige in the post? She’s very serious)
Tags: moving, moving-with-baby, parenting-advice |
4 Responses to “Relocating the weirds.”
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1. Jessica said:
March 15, 2008 @ 7:48 pm
First of all, welcome Tracy!
Second of all, be careful what you wish for.
Prescott and I are former, long time urbanites who did the mass exodus to the ‘burbs. Being cheaper and less noisy was a plus, but I find myself missing being around the constant rustle and bustle of life and the conveniences of walking to liquor stores at 2am. (Not that I need to, but I’d like to think that I can if I ever need a bottle of Jack at 2am.)
As far as making huge life decisions based on the needs of other people (ie: the family), I can only speak from experience when I say, “Don’t do it.”
Of course, my advice isn’t quite fair or experienced as I’ve never really had family around and the family I do have, don’t really care or spend any time with my kids.
When my kids were younger, I would always daydream about having a close relative around to take my baby off my hands for an hour or two and I never got that. Now that my kids are a little bit older, I am so grateful that my parents don’t live near-by and that the ones that do pretty much leave us alone.
Grandparents can travel easier than parents can, so I say, do what makes you and your husband happy and if you can just as easily work from NC as you can New York, I say go for it.
In the words of the great Stuart Smally, “It is better to wear slippers than carpet the whole world.”
2. Rita said:
March 15, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
We’ve moved all over the nation. We’re settled where we are and hope that the gods of fate allow us to stay, but it isn’t near either of our families. We did what we had to do to have jobs and live comfortably. I say do what you need to do for yourselves.
3. Tracy said:
March 15, 2008 @ 7:54 pm
Second of all, be careful what you wish for.
Prescott and I are former, long time urbanites who did the mass exodus to the ‘burbs. Being cheaper and less noisy was a plus, but I find myself missing being around the constant rustle and bustle of life and the conveniences of walking to liquor stores at 2am. (Not that I need to, but I’d like to think that I can if I ever need a bottle of Jack at 2am.)
As far as making huge life decisions based on the needs of other people (ie: the family), I can only speak from experience when I say, “Don’t do it.”
Of course, my advice isn’t quite fair or experienced as I’ve never really had family around and the family I do have, don’t really care or spend any time with my kids.
When my kids were younger, I would always daydream about having a close relative around to take my baby off my hands for an hour or two and I never got that. Now that my kids are a little bit older, I am so grateful that my parents don’t live near-by and that the ones that do pretty much leave us alone.
Grandparents can travel easier than parents can, so I say, do what makes you and your husband happy and if you can just as easily work from NC as you can New York, I say go for it.
In the words of the great Stuart Smally, “It is better to wear slippers than carpet the whole world.”[/quote]
Ahh yes, when Paige was a helpless boring newborn I would have loved a few hours of help here and there (or you know, everyday…I wasn’t choosy) but I think some of the relatives were scared of her being so tiny and…active? Spazmastic? They are much more interested now that she’s smiling and acting-a-fool so I’m glad they want to spend loads of time with her but you’re so right, it IS easier for them to travel to us. Even know, whenever the relatives want to see the beast we have to go to them, VERY rarely do they come visit our home.
Maybe it’s because we are slobs? Maybe not
4. Amber said:
March 16, 2008 @ 8:19 am
I agree whole heartedly with Jessica. “Grandparents can travel easier than parents can”. So unless you are dependent upon the Grandparents for child care, do what is best for your family. (meaning you, your husband, daughter & assorted pets) Because lets face it, the grandparents can come for a visit & then go back to their nice quiet home. You & your husband don’t get that option.
And believe me, even if you moved to Bangladesh, Grandparents will find a way to visit their grandbabies every few months. Trust me. Just be sure there’s a decent hotel near your home for the extended holiday visits.
Most of my family is scattered all over the country and my husband & I endure visits from my family more often than we would really like.
If you do decide to go to NC, here are a few things I’d recommend to satisfy the Grandparents in between visits:
*a web-cam for extra clingy Grandparents. This way they can see you daughter in real time & it’s almost like being there.
*join target photos, snapfish, walgreens, shutterfly or the like. you can have online albums that they can access, print pics at their leisure & either have them mailed to their home or pick them up.
*if possible establish a good time for them to visit & purchase air ticks before you go. this will settle them down considerably.
*keep them involved with your moving preparations as much as you can. this way they will feel needed, you’ll have help with child care while you pack and as an added bonus, you’ll all be so sick of each other by the time you move, they won’t even want to visit for 6 months!
best of luck to you!