To All the Mothers of Kids Approximately Three Years Old That I’ve Encountered In Various Waiting Rooms Around Town This Past Week
Posted
March 7, 2008 at
8:09 am by
Rita
Your child will learn to use the toilet by himself. We don’t all need to be involved in the process by proxy. He remembers how many accidents he’s had recently, he was there. We don’t want to know.
Using your child’s full name to get his attention when you’re mad at him is just pretentious when you’re mad for like an hour straight. We will never get that asinine middle name out of our heads now.
Your child will understand you if you speak to her in normal conversational tones. There’s no need to be so loud, over-pronounced and, oh for God’s sake please don’t squeal.
Your child does not need a running commentary throughout the day. He can figure out for himself that the little girl is looking at the fishie, and now she’s looking at a book, and that the man is reading a magazine. While we all may seem distracted doing something else, we’re all really just hoping that you’ll shut the hell up soon.
Every moment does not have to be a teaching moment. Because you have a few minutes to kill, you don’t have to yank out a workbook and quiz on letter identification. It won’t get her into Yale any sooner, and the rest of us are not impressed. We already know our letters.
If you want her to take her coat off that badly, then stop asking her over and over and just get hold of her and peel her coat off of her body. You’re bigger than she is.
Again with the middle name. Stop it. I mean it.
It isn’t necessary to bring snacks with you everywhere. They can go a few hours between goldfish and juicebox sessions. See? Now the rest of us are hungry. Did you bring some for everyone?
Just because we happened to reproduce at roughly the same time doesn’t make us friends. Nor our kids.
This job isn’t that hard, you’re really over-applying yourself. It’s OK for everyone to just sit quietly for a while. Pick up a book, take a deep breath, see? It’s all just fine.
Tags: 3-year-olds, Humor, parents, toddlers, waiting-rooms |
5 Responses to “To All the Mothers of Kids Approximately Three Years Old That I’ve Encountered In Various Waiting Rooms Around Town This Past Week”
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1. Jessica said:
March 7, 2008 @ 6:19 pm
Amen sistah!
Women act like they invented mothering.
I had to totally LOL (or El-oh-El) at this part…
“Your child does not need a running commentary throughout the day. He can figure out for himself that the little girl is looking at the fishie, and now she’s looking at a book, and that the man is reading a magazine.”
That drives me batty.
2. prpledrm76 said:
March 7, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
Don’t be surprised encountering this almost everywhere, especially w/ first time mothers - they will absorb and believe everything that they read and will listen and panic about everything their friends and fellow mothers told them to do etc.
Speaking to your child outloud throughout your day (known as labeling), telling them everything that your doing etc. is an extremely popular method of teaching, it is splashed on the pages of just about every parenting magazine…as well as on their websites.
As far as the snacks and juice, it’s more of a bribe I think in most cases - children of most ages get bored extremely quick…so I think it’s a matter of give them a few cheerios or face a possible meltdown because u’ve been there waiting for hours (just an example in timing).
3. Rita said:
March 7, 2008 @ 10:23 pm
Speaking to your child outloud throughout your day (known as labeling), telling them everything that your doing etc. is an extremely popular method of teaching, it is splashed on the pages of just about every parenting magazine…as well as on their websites.
As far as the snacks and juice, it’s more of a bribe I think in most cases - children of most ages get bored extremely quick…so I think it’s a matter of give them a few cheerios or face a possible meltdown because u’ve been there waiting for hours (just an example in timing).[/quote]
But, is there no common sense? I have two older kids (13 and 9), so I’m not new at this by any means. You really CAN just talk to your kid throughout the day, without it being a running commentary on the obvious. I’ve never done “baby talk,” I have always talked to my kids like they’re people. My kids learn to talk with very little incorrect speech as a result, good modeling tends to lead to good learning. I’m certainly not above watching the fish with my toddler, and talking with her about what the fish are doing. But, it’s the idiotic, unnatural voice and play-by-play commentary that drive me batty.
And the snacks. OK, this is something I’ve just not done. If we’re going to the park for a long time, then I bring stuff for us to “picnic” with, but otherwise, food is not a bribe or a source of entertainment. It’s food. It doesn’t belong in doctor’s office waiting rooms, or the library, or the tae kwon do “observation room,” or when you’re hanging out waiting for teacher’s conferences. Has this component, this apparent addiction to goldfish and nutrigrain bars, been addressed as a possible component to the obesity epidemic?
4. Babyamore (Trish) said:
March 9, 2008 @ 12:13 am
I liked this .I agree with most of it.
I will have to remember this advice - the labeling and constant talking (aka labeling and running commentary) but I can’t see a way around giving bribes (snacks) with 1 year twins when sometimes the wait is so long .We have waited 2hrs one day (several times) at the Children’s hospital even with a playroom … other than strapping their mouths with gaff tape and ear plugs for everyone else to drown out the sound.
5. Rita said:
March 9, 2008 @ 10:16 am