Your Kids Annoy Me
Posted
February 27, 2008 at
7:35 pm by
Maureen
So, let’s get one thing straight: I don’t really like kids all that much.
OK, scratch that.
I don’t like YOUR kids that much.
I happen to really like my own. Just not yours.
I happen to think my own child is perfectly hilarious when he farts loudly in public. I think it’s cute when he regurgitates sweet potato puree down the front of his miniature Cubs jersey. I make others stare at him while I try to get him to make, “This face he made the other night that was so funny…Kevin, jump up and down again and see if he’ll do it…I swear, it was so funny.”
I do not think it’s endearing when anyone else’s kid does it. In fact? It’s pretty annoying. Actually? Your kid is bothering me. Please take it out to the car and give it a spanking.
When I was pregnant, I had lunch with a childless friend of mine. A toddler at the table next to us began throwing a temper tantrum, complete with screaming and throwing of toys. My friend rolled her eyes then caught my eye. “Sorry,” she mumbled.
I responded that she shouldn’t be apologetic; I found the child hideously annoying and just because I was having a child myself didn’t mean I suddenly became tolerant of children misbehaving in public. (I should also add I wouldn’t have been nearly as annoyed had the parents properly responded by whispering death threats through clenched teeth while yanking the kid out of the restaurant instead of laughing merrily and continuing to eat their sushi.)
As a parent, I think my child is just the bees’ knees. I might even think your kid is cute, too.
As an adult, I’d like to enjoy my lunch without the child next to me screaming, “Fie truck! Fie truck! Gimme fie truck!”
I have to tolerate my own kid throwing tantrums. I shouldn’t have to listen to yours. Now, I’ll do my part by hustling my kid out of any public place when screaming begins and refusing to submit to “Parent Brain,” a condition in which the second after a child is born the parents become blissfully unaware of any social disturbances little Joey is causing.
In short?
I love my kid. I just don’t have to love yours.
And that’s all which is required of a parent, no?
Tags: baby, childless-couples, discipline, misbehaving-kids, Parenting, parenting-humor, restaurant, temper-tantrum, tempertantrum, toddlers |
29 Responses to “Your Kids Annoy Me”
RSS feed for comments on this post.
Leave a comment
Comments are moderated and may not appear immediately in an effort to remove commercial messages, irrelevancies, excessive foul language, racist/sexist/hateful comments, spoofed/cloaked IPs and/or personal attacks and will be edited/deleted at our discretion. Thank you for your patience.
1. Chris Austria said:
February 27, 2008 @ 8:41 pm
Spoken like a true parent. I guess this is how humanity has survived this long.
2. Rita said:
February 27, 2008 @ 9:16 pm
[quote]I have to tolerate my own kid throwing tantrums. I shouldn’t have to listen to yours. Now, I’ll do my part by hustling my kid out of any public place when screaming begins and refusing to submit to “Parent Brain,” a condition in which the second after a child is born the parents become blissfully unaware of any social disturbances little Joey is causing.[/quote]
Depends on where the tantrum is happening. Upscale restaurant, art museum, movie theater, yeah, I’ll take my tantrumming kid away. Grocery store, the food court at the mall, or other places that aren’t really set aside for adult enjoyment only, then no. You’re just going to have to be a little uncomfortable. Tantrumming is normal behavior for kids a certain age. It’s a developmental milestone. Toddlers showing their displeasure by throwing things and hollering is how they’re supposed to act at that age. It’s all they’ve got. It’s not “misbehaving.” They can’t talk yet, and their coping skills are nil. But, it would be abnormal for the child to not develop his autonomy and express himself. See the problem? It’s really not his fault at all for acting his age. So kids, being members of our society, should be able to behave age appropriately in the main areas we all share as people, that’s how they learn these skills we expect them to have when they’re older.
Plus, in all these years, I just haven’t been in places where kids are being horribly disruptive.
3. Maureen said:
February 27, 2008 @ 10:12 pm
I agree with this. My point was I was at a sushi restaurant, not exactly Chuck E Cheese, and the parents thought it was “cute” when their child threw himself on the floor. Regardless of the developmental reason why he did it.
As a parent, I get that you can’t control tantrums.
As an adult, I don’t have to like it.
“You’re just going to have to be a little uncomfortable.”
Believe me, I will be.
4. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 7:51 am
Yeah, I guess a sushi restaurant might be an adult place. Our local Mongolian Grill is crawling with kids though, and the place is louder than hell, so a tantrummer there would go unnoticed, I think.
I’ve got to ask–and don’t think I’m picking on you, I’m not, I realize this is your first blog here and I don’t want it to seem like I’m all over your ass or something, this is just a pet peeve topic of mine–do you think that people’s feelings about kids acting out in public like that is a kind of agism? I know there are adults who really prefer not to see children at all, and kids being kids anywhere just irritates the hell out of them, and I started thinking about how it would seem if we applied this to other populations. Like the elderly, with their inability to hear, and their rheumy eyes and how their missing teeth makes their chewing different. Should they maybe not be allowed certain places? Or have their caregivers yell at them and take them out of the restaurant if they become annoying to other patrons because of the way age is affecting their bodies? What about retarded people? Sometimes their behavior is really wacky! Maybe they should be kept out of sight of the general public, too? Or punished for communicating in the only way they know how, if it happens to be a little loud?
It’s just been commented on here and other places that there seems to be a trend in our society not value children, and I just don’t understand it. It’s just a personal pet peeve of mine.
5. Maureen said:
February 28, 2008 @ 9:07 am
This post was meant to be sarcastic. This is no way relates to ageism or that I believe people who have mental retardation should not go out in public or that I’m intolerant of the elderly.
The commentary was not on the child. The commentary was on the parents.
Kids have temper tantrums all the time. I know my kid does. My comments were about the way the parents react to those public outbursts.
It was meant to be a satirical piece on taking one’s child to adult-oriented places. Nothing more…and certainly not related to intolerance of other, marginalized groups.
6. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 9:20 am
Yeah, I get that it was meant to be a satirical piece. The topic is just, as I said, my personal pet peeve.
7. Kevin said:
February 28, 2008 @ 11:33 am
I totally agree with Maureen on this one. Kids will always have their tantrums, but it’s the parents who are oblivious to this who are at fault. They need to realize that the world is not their private residence! I say this as a parent of twin girls who have displayed more than their fair share of public explosions…..I just don’t expect others to have to deal with it.
8. Jessica said:
February 28, 2008 @ 12:30 pm
I actually applaud restaurants that won’t allow children after a certain time because you really can’t rely on parents to make appropriate or respectful decisions when it comes to their own children. People really do have an entitlement problem when it comes to their own children.
I have an old soul. I think children should be seen and not heard and while I feel that people should sympathize with parents whose children act out inappropriately, because small children can’t be expected to rationalize as little adults, I don’t think parents are doing them any favors in raising them to believe that other people’s imposition is of no relevance to them.
But I too, can’t stand other people’s children. That’s why I have never considered babysitting or becoming a preschool teacher. I just don’t have the patience for that crap.
9. Preesi said:
February 28, 2008 @ 12:46 pm
Jessica I agree with you,
BUT
You have to understand that in this day and age MOST parents probably wish that they could spank their butts in public when they act up, BUT they now know they will go to jail for that…
10. Allison said:
February 28, 2008 @ 1:52 pm
I agree with the OP. I was just at Fred Meyer yesterday sorting through clothing racks, and while I thought I’d ‘be nice’ and not stick my girls in a cart, I quickly regretted it. They were chasing each other and hiding in the racks. I kept telling them to “stop” through clenched teeth, and when my 4 year old finally asked why, I simply stated firmly, “You’re bugging the other people trying to shop!!! And those racks are NOT for climbing in!” Swoop, and shoved them in a cart.
DH always wants to see a movie (like PG-13 rated) and bring the kids, and I always put my foot down and say no. Look, I don’t care if they get up and walk around or cry in ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ or the ‘VeggieTales movie’, but really, anything over PG-rated means “Don’t bring your crying brats!”
Sorry, it’s not the kids I hate, it’s the Parent-Brain!!!! And ditto on not even being able to swat them on the buns anymore!
11. Mary K said:
February 28, 2008 @ 3:07 pm
Right on Maureen! How can children ever learn that they have to be considerate of others it is not all about them. When will some parents learn that it is not all about them as well. Very Funny! Keep it coming….
12. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 3:31 pm
OK, I need to clarify, lol. In the original post, it was a toddler throwing a fit. I’m really forgiving of babies and toddlers crying and having their fits. Pre-school aged kids and school aged kids? No way. They should know better. But, personally, I believe that they won’t learn better unless you take them places and teach them how to behave. It doesn’t happen through osmosis. There’s no reason why a 4 year-old shouldn’t be able to behave on a shopping trip, and why would she be crying and walking around during any movie? No, that’s not acceptable.
I dragged my kids with me everywhere from the moment they were born. When they were babies, they cried because babies cry. People on airplanes glared. But, babies cry, and we have as much right to be on a plane as anyone else! So far. Unless they change that and don’t allow kids to fly. My son (my oldest) was always pretty well behaved, I think because he’s so shy. He only threw three full-out tantrums his whole life. So, we could take him anywhere and he was just a pleasure to be around. My middle one was a public tantrummer from about age 15 months to about 24 months. I had to physically restrain her in the shopping cart and she would howl and turn blue. People would glare. Oh, well, it’s a freaking grocery store, or Target, it’s not like it’s some sacred place, and I felt that if I took her home, she was winning. By the time she was 3, we could take her anywhere. I mean ANYWHERE and she was perfectly well behaved. Not like a stepford child, not some little robot. She was still animated and chatty, but she would stay in her seat during meals, use good table manners, and be polite. I honestly believe it’s because I “forced” her to learn to behave out in public during those toddler years, instead of running home and hiding her, thinking she’d just somehow learn to behave in public some other way. My little one isn’t 3 yet, but she’s more like my son in temperament. She’s really not prone to public displays.
I do agree that there is a sense of entitlement when it comes to people and their own kids, but I’m just more forgiving of it in babies and toddlers and apparently less forgiving (even in my own kids) in older kids.
13. Jessica said:
February 28, 2008 @ 4:02 pm
[quote comment="146236"]But, personally, I believe that they won’t learn better unless you take them places and teach them how to behave. It doesn’t happen through osmosis. There’s no reason why a 4 year-old shouldn’t be able to behave on a shopping trip, and why would she be crying and walking around during any movie? No, that’s not acceptable.[/quote]
Yeah, but that’s because you’re a responsible parent. You TEACH your children. And if if you choose to ignore them, it’s a lesson to be learned, not because you think to yourself, “If you don’t like, TS.”
It’s one thing to hear a toddler pitching a fit at Target, it’s quite another when they’re pitching a fit at a restaurant where one is spending good money to enjoy their meal. That is not too much to ask, especially when I see kids screaming and running around OTHER people’s tables. There’s no excuse for that.
14. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 4:47 pm
Huh. I just haven’t seen that here. I really haven’t. I see little kids having little tantrums (a baby gets fussy and its parents pick it up and bounce it around, or a toddler is pissed because of whatever toddlers get pissed about and lets out a holler and the parents fix whatever it was that was wrong, and the whole display is over in about 2 minutes). I thought that’s the kind of thing you guys were talking about and found so annoying.
I’d be irritated with kids running around out of their seats and causing that kind of ruckus, too.
15. Allison said:
February 28, 2008 @ 4:59 pm
[quote comment="146236"] There’s no reason why a 4 year-old shouldn’t be able to behave on a shopping trip, and why would she be crying and walking around during any movie? No, that’s not acceptable.
[/quote]
Let me explain myself. My 4 year old doesn’t walk around at the movies. She did when she was 2. As did my six-year old when he was 2. But my littlest one at 2 years old does do it. 90 minutes is a long time for a toddler to sit still. And she doesn’t run around the whole damn multi-plex, just between DH’s seat and mine. And I used to get pretty irritated by it, until I turned around in my seat at a kid’s movie and saw that A LOT of the toddlers cry and get squirmy, so no biggie.
But the shopping trip shit pisses me off. You’re right, there’s no reason that a 4 year old can’t behave while shopping. So next time you’re out and your hear a mom in the corner scolding at her kids because of the crap they’ve been pulling in public, it’s just me teaching them that it’s just not OK to behave like that.
It’s sometimes a double-edged sword. You get glares and rolling eyes from half the folks when your kids get out of hand. And then you get it from the other half who think you’re the out of control one for being a bitch in public??????????????
16. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
I never took a 2 y.o. to the movies, lol, you’re even braver than I am! But, yeah, some of those kiddie movies, it wouldn’t matter if the 2 y.o. walks around. I just wouldn’t have the patience for it.
As far as people rolling eyes and glaring, yes, they do that no matter what you do. You’ve just got to do what you know is right.
17. Allison said:
February 28, 2008 @ 5:13 pm
[quote comment="146253"]I never took a 2 y.o. to the movies, lol, you’re even braver than I am! But, yeah, some of those kiddie movies, it wouldn’t matter if the 2 y.o. walks around. I just wouldn’t have the patience for it.
As far as people rolling eyes and glaring, yes, they do that no matter what you do. You’ve just got to do what you know is right.[/quote]
Thanks. But I freaking HATE taking them to the movies. Dh loves it. I can’t figure out why, though.
And I don’t feel bad for scolding them in public. Dh always gets embarrassed and tries to shush me, but if you wait to get home and then try to deal with it, they’ll look at you like “Huh? What am I being punished for? Oh yeah, running around at the store. That was 2 hours ago!” The lesson is just about lost by then………
18. Maureen said:
February 28, 2008 @ 8:08 pm
DH and I went to see at midnight showing of “Knocked Up” before I had my son. Being opening weekend, the theater was packed. Right behind us was a couple…with their eighteen-month old (approximately) daughter, dressed in her pajamas.
The poor kid was so disoriented and the parents were oblivious. I didn’t blame the kid at all for whining and crying for half the movie. It was her idiot parents who thought an R-rated movie ending at two in the morning was a great place to take their kid.
I hope she spent the next several days repeating choice lines from the movie…but then again, those are probably the kind of parents who think it’s funny when their kid uses the word “douchebag.”
19. julymom said:
February 28, 2008 @ 10:02 pm
OMG, I say this all the time. I like my kid, I don’t like anyone elses. Of course I mean it sarcastically (sort of). My kid is amazing. Other kids? Not so much IMO.
20. Rita said:
February 28, 2008 @ 10:35 pm
[quote comment="146291"]
DH and I went to see at midnight showing of “Knocked Up” before I had my son. Being opening weekend, the theater was packed. Right behind us was a couple…with their eighteen-month old (approximately) daughter, dressed in her pajamas.
[/quote]
Well, that’s not “parent brain” that’s just stupid. I can’t believe anyone would do that! Seriously, what is wrong with people?
21. Jamazoo said:
February 29, 2008 @ 8:49 am
I have two boys, 4 years and 9 months. I have believed since day one that they should be well behaved. I have never spanked them, or done anything more than give the 4 yr old a time out. They are both well behaved in public, I think because I won’t tolerate anything else. I had arguments with my wife about this in the beginning, she would say “he is just a baby” and I would respond with “what day would you like him to start acting civil in public? When he is 18?”. I have left a nice restaurant with my entire meal in a doggy bag more than once because I didn’t want to ruin other people’s meals. Perhaps I am self conscious, perhaps I am too rigid, but I have seen some interesting effects. We have had more than a few people babysit our kids for free because they liked them, and refused payment. My oldest even comments on other kids that are acting out in public, and thinks that they should get a hold of themselves. My oldest will even give himself a timeout if he feels he is losing emotional control.
22. Rita said:
February 29, 2008 @ 9:31 am
The 9 month old doesn’t cry in public?
23. Allison said:
February 29, 2008 @ 10:58 am
Hey, can I go off on a tangent for a minute about “Dog Brain”? It’s very similar to Parent Brain.
I hate when people bring their dog into a store (NOT service dogs, I’m not that much of a bitch!) “Because she fits in my purse! Tee Hee!”
Some guy had a big dog on a leash at the bookstore the other day. And there were no signs or tags indicating it was a service animal.
Or when they let their dog pee/poo in the store’s landscaping.
I don’t hate all dogs, just yours. Leave it at home in the shade with food and water and it will be fine.
Don’t walk it in my yard, and so help me Jesus, if it shits on my grass and you don’t pick it up, you better believe it’s gonna be hurled at the back of your head momentarily!
Sorry, I just find Parent Brain and Dog Brain to be extremely irritating and they’re probably derived from the same part of the brain. Scientists need to do expensive research to find a cure for both………….
24. Kim said:
April 27, 2008 @ 9:50 am
I’m franticly searching for “how to tame the tantrums” and found your blog extremely enlightening & fun-spirited. Thank you!
25. smj3a said:
April 27, 2008 @ 11:34 am
The other day my twins (both 5) had a melt down at Target…They were being total brats! Here’s the thing…If I ignore them, people give looks…If I react, people give looks…It’s a no win situation. I just want to scream, “LIKE THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO YOU!!!!”
26. smj3a said:
April 27, 2008 @ 11:37 am
AND…I would like to shout to the “I have no kids people”, “JUST YOU WAIT…YOUR TIME WILL COME”…My children really are the poster children for birth control!
27. Grandma frm Ks. said:
April 27, 2008 @ 4:39 pm
AllisonJ,I love what you said about throwing the poo, great comment, my hubby and I were at a very nice restaurant recently, a little girl about 3, throws a fit wanting down, parents saying ,no, but she gets down any way , goes to 3 different tables and proceeds to dip her chicken fingers in ppl’s drinks, while mommy sats there,and says “honey come over here that nice lady don’t want you to do that” I told my husband, if she comes to our table I will go talk to her mother and father,after about 20 minutes of her wandering around , the manager brought her to mommy and daddy and said some thing to them, they got mad, said they wre going to see what could be done, about 6 or 7 other guests started yelling, yeah go ahead, it’s clear you can not do any thing with your child, so there you go, Parents need some lessons or keep their brats at home. good comments by everyone, oh yeah I have 14 grandchildren.
28. Friend said:
April 27, 2008 @ 5:30 pm
[quote comment="146210"]Jessica I agree with you,
BUT
You have to understand that in this day and age MOST parents probably wish that they could spank their butts in public when they act up, BUT they now know they will go to jail for that…[/quote]
So I hear alot of stuff about you….why don’t you post on the J and K board anymore??? Just wondering…. )
29. Em's mom said:
April 27, 2008 @ 6:25 pm
[quote comment="146204"]I actually applaud restaurants that won’t allow children after a certain time because you really can’t rely on parents to make appropriate or respectful decisions when it comes to their own children. People really do have an entitlement problem when it comes to their own children.
I have an old soul. I think children should be seen and not heard and while I feel that people should sympathize with parents whose children act out inappropriately, because small children can’t be expected to rationalize as little adults, I don’t think parents are doing them any favors in raising them to believe that other people’s imposition is of no relevance to them.
But I too, can’t stand other people’s children. That’s why I have never considered babysitting or becoming a preschool teacher. I just don’t have the patience for that crap.[/quote]
You hit it right on. Kids are NOT little adults, yet so many parents treat them as such. It is sad that so many are being raised to believe they are entitled, somehow. And I, too, do not care much for other peoples kids! Love kids, just don’t want to deal with anyone else’s kids…