Obviously the kid doesn’t quite comprehend the scoring on Wii Golf.

And sometimes that’s a good thing.

Nigella Lawson, the daughter of a wealthy couple and wife to one of the wealthiest men in England, has said that she will leave her children not one penny. Claiming that she had to work hard for the money and that inherited wealth makes people weak, she boasts about her plans to exclude them from the family’s riches.

From the Daily Mail…

As the daughter of a former Conservative chancellor, Nigella Lawson knows a thing or two about privileged upbringing.

But when it comes to raising her own children, the celebrity chef clearly believes in tough love.

She shares an estimated wealth of more than £110million with her husband, the marketing guru Charles Saatchi, and has a £7million London home.

However, Miss Lawson says she will leave none of it to her offspring.

It is not a decision with which her husband agrees.

Mr Saatchi, 64, is adamant that the children should be allowed to inherit the couple’s wealth - and the subject causes more than a little discord between them, according to Miss Lawson.

Mr Saatchi has one daughter, 12-year-old Phoebe from his first marriage.

Miss Lawson, 48, has two children, 13-year-old daughter Cosima and son Bruno, 11, from her marriage to the late journalist John Diamond.

I say you work for your children. I’m by no means wealthy or even comfortable, perhaps middle class but one thing that has always been certain, whatever is mine is my children’s and if one day I can afford to contribute generously to their house budget or cars or special gifts, it will be my honor to do so.

What is good enough for the goose (and it looks like she’s eaten her fair share), is most certainly good enough for the gander. Why she thinks that the fortunes that were awarded to her should not be shared with her children is just selfish and ruthless in my opinion. Perhaps if she didn’t want life-long responsibility, she shouldn’t of even had children to begin with. No matter anyway, my guess is when they are older those kids won’t be coming over for Christmas dinner to a mansion and privilege that they are no longer privy to.

Hi, my name is Prescott, and I’m a home makeover show junkie. (Hi, Prescott!)

Seriously — if the show involves tearing down walls and slapping up paint, I’m so there. I have a season pass set for Property Ladder on the Tivo. So it’s no surprise that when Trading Spaces debuted in 2000, I was immediately hooked. The chaos, the low budget, neighbors screwing up each other’s living room, Doug making women cry, what’s not to love?

Then TLC had to mess with their winning formula and take the show in a “new creative direction”. Paige Davis was dumped, designers left, they ditched a carpenter, and the participants went from soccer moms to young, trendy couples. And we didn’t like it. I gave up watching after a few episodes, along with millions of others. Trading Spaces’ ratings sank lower than a lead weight in the Mariana Trench.

But instead of canceling the show, they decided to give it one more try and go old school. Paige’s career as a stripper wasn’t working out, so they were able to woo her back — although sporting a kicky new haircut, which the wife could not get past (”Where’s the flip? WHY DID SHE CHANGE HER FLIP?” Yeah, she has issues). The budget has returned to $1,000 without all the “bonus room” and extra cash that was floating around the past couple seasons. Many of the original designers have returned as well — Frank, Laurie, Hildi, Doug, and Edward are on this season, but sorry, gentlemen, no Genevieve. We do have a little eye candy for the ladies (and closeted homosexuals like myself): meet Thad and Brandon, filling the role of hunky carpenter #1 and #2, respectively, a prerequisite on these shows.

The one big difference from the original is that they are no longer having neighbors trade spaces. Instead, the teams are put together to create maximum tension: a woman trading with her mother-in-law, an executive assistant trading with her boss, and on the premiere episode, ex-spouses trading bedrooms. It sounds gimmicky, but it did add a nice flavor to the show, especially since the ex-wife has since remarried but the ex-husband has not. So he constantly had the pained expression of, “sure, I would love to help design a lovely bedroom where ANOTHER MAN WILL BE BANGING MY WIFE.”

Doug came up with something completely non-offensive as always (although he did add a meat cart to the “steak house” look he was going for). Hildi is thankfully still working her “unique” (i.e., bat shit crazy) designs which usually feature 2,000 pounds of feathers or 6,000 doll heads, this time nailing up 1,500 rubber rings all over the walls. Have you noticed that she sadistically makes it so that if the homeowner doesn’t like what she’s done, it will require hours and hours of time to remove?

Bottom line: The original fun of Trading Spaces is back, and I’m glad to once again have my regular Saturday night date.

Fit Pregnancy recently released their list of the best cities to have a baby, and U.S. Crunchy Central Portland, Oregon was at the top. The magazine looked at the 50 largest cities and their quality of health care, breastfeeding rates, availability of doulas and midwives, stroller friendly parks, etc. Results were tabulated by the “Fit Pregnancy Advisory Board”, whoever they are — probably a bunch of interns throwing darts at a map. Maybe I’m just bitter because my hometown, Chicago, ranked number 28th. What? Who wouldn’t want to have a baby in a Cook County hospital? And the Windy City gets an “F” for stroller-friendliness? The whole place is covered with concrete, what’s not stroller-friendly about that? Have you ever tried to push a stroller on a wooded trail or through a lush meadow? Not fun. Hmmph. Here’s a run down of the top 10:

1. Portland - perfect for socialists who don’t like to shave their armpits.
2. Minneapolis - great if you’re having a baby popsicle.
3. San Francisco - every commercial that uses a runaway ball, car, piano, etc. films on San Francisco’s hills — that’s stroller-friendly?
4. Seattle - like Portland, but with more caffeine and software moguls.
5. Denver - good luck with those high altitude breathing exercises.
6. Boston - if you’re carrying a wicked pissa, Boston is freakin’ awesome.
7. Omaha - so boring I don’t even have anything to say about it.
8. Virginia Beach - best thing Virginia has going for it? It’s not West Virginia.
9. Austin - just hope your due date isn’t during South by Southwest.
10. Albuquerque - actually, Albuquerque is kinda nice.

Bottom of the list? Detroit. So at least we’re better than the Motor City. Which is like being a better parent than Britney Spears.

I could be wrong, but I have a sneaky feeling that this sheet of “made in China” Spongebob stickers we got at the dollar store is not an officially licensed Nickelodeon product:

Exhibit A — the oddly proportioned titular hero:

I would say this offers definitive proof that some sort of child labor law is being broken, and first graders are drawing these stickers by hand:

Squidward, from the rarely aired Simpsons crossover episode:

Despite the crude drawing, they still managed to convey Patrick’s tortured soul and suppressed homicidal rage:

This one erases any doubt as to these stickers country of origin:

Because “Happy Joy Luck Plane” wouldn’t fit.