Yet another tragic ending
Posted
August 30, 2007 at
6:58 am by
Prescott
Just weeks after Nimisha Tiwari took the lives of her children and herself, another mother in the Chicago area decided to take the most desperate of ways out of an apparently messy divorce. Magdalene Kamysz, 28, of Crystal Lake, Illinois, committed suicide on Tuesday by stepping in front of a commuter train near her home. But if that wasn’t sad enough, when police went to her home four hours later to notify relatives, they found her 7-year-old daughter, Sydney, suffocated in her locked bedroom. While nothing was left behind to indicate why Kamysz took such drastic measures, the back story is eerily familiar:
One focus of the inquiry is an ongoing legal battle that Magdalene was waging with Sydney’s father over custody and visitation issues.
“It has been a somewhat heated and contested situation,” Nygren said.
Sydney’s father, 29-year-old Alan Burton of Walworth, Wis., filed a civil suit in February seeking to formalize his visitation rights with the girl, which his attorney said had been disrupted earlier.
But despite how contentious their relationship might have been, it’s hard to contemplate how it could lead to murdering your only child. These feelings don’t just come out of nowhere, why didn’t she seek some help? I guess we’ll never find out.
Tags: crystal-lake, magdalene-kamysz, News-&-Politics, sydney-kamysz |
35 Responses to “Yet another tragic ending”
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1. Cara said:
August 30, 2007 @ 9:02 am
These kinds of stories scare me to death because my brother is currently in what could wind up being a similar situation. He and his wife are going through a messy divorce with two kids (2.5 and 1). She’s got severe postpardum depression, we think she’s bipolar and we have reason to believe she’s using meth although she passed a drug test (meth doesn’t stay in the system very long). My brother has the kids right now, but they’ve technically got 50/50 custody so she could come get them at any time. Sadly, there’s not much that can be done until we have any proof that she’s neglecting them. In Texas, fathers hardly ever get full custody. I guess something tragic has to happen first.
2. Jessica said:
August 31, 2007 @ 9:11 am
[quote comment="106524"]My brother has the kids right now, but they’ve technically got 50/50 custody so she could come get them at any time. Sadly, there’s not much that can be done until we have any proof that she’s neglecting them.[/quote]
It’s true, the courts will do anything to keep children, even neglected children, in the custody of their mother, which is so sad because your brother might be the more nurturing and certainly safer (I hope), parent.
And you don’t know if this woman is just going to snap or take completely selfish and vengeful actions towards your brother and do something like the woman did in the OP.
What a stressful situation. I hope it works out, for the sake of the children.
3. pixie said:
August 31, 2007 @ 11:32 am
What happened to Magdalene Kamysz and her daughter was so tragic. I’m so sorry that the mother didn’t receive the support, strength, faith, or whatever was needed to get through what must have been a very painful period in her life. It’s too bad that she didn’t find a way to run off with her daughter to a community, sanctuary, or ashram somewhere far away to get away from the despair and nonsense.
What was wrong with her ex-boyfriend and his family anyway? The ex never bothered to marry Magdalene, never gave the child his name, or established paternity from the onset, and obviously didn’t care enough to support them properly at all (mother and daughter were sharing one bedroom in the mother’s parents home; mother worked as a part-time assistant in the school system to try to make ends meet during the time her daughter attended school). It’s just heartbreaking.
In spite of the hardship and lack of support (from the father), the little girl was doing extremely well. So after risking her life and health (morning sickness, weight gain, hormonal changes, stretch marks, varicose veins etc.) to bring a baby into this world, then spending years nursing, diapering, caring, bonding, and pouring all her time, energy and love into her only child, Magdalene must have snapped when this clown of an ex shows up and has his lawyer petition for joint custody from out of state (when the girl is 7 years old).
Sounds to me like another selfish power grab on the part of the ex to eventually get custody. The ex planned to remarry (creating an established family unit with father and mother–way to impress the court besides money), appears better situated financially with which to “better provide” for the little girl (aka future built in babysitter for the newer babies the ex is planning to have with new family). Make Magdalene crazy with all this so she becomes an unfit parent and voila!
If the ex had been any sort of real and/or evolved man with any measure of true success or maturity, he would have been reassuring and supporting Magdalene and his child properly all along (in the best interest of the child), to make sure that Magdalene would never be made anxious or worried about losing her only child, or been put through a non-ending miserable experience in court (whose role at times is to prolong the misery as long as possible–more money for the industry to the detriment of family health and welfare). Attorney fees are expensive, free court appointed attorneys are often just a step above useless, imo.
Who are these frickin loser clowns who aren’t able to be men enough to step up to the plate and truly support their children and mothers of their children, instead spend their time making their ex wives/girlfriends lives miserable by trying to take their babies away? I feel badly for these women who get stuck with these immature lemons; they would’ve been so much better off going to a sperm bank and getting impregnated with fine, high quality sperm donated from a handsome, successful dude with a high IQ.
4. Prescott said:
August 31, 2007 @ 12:03 pm
Here’s a follow up from today’s paper about this poor, innocent woman:
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=28976
5. Jessica said:
August 31, 2007 @ 1:21 pm
[quote comment="106740"]Here’s a follow up from today’s paper about this poor, innocent woman:
http://www.dailyherald.com/story/?id=28976[/quote]
Some people will always make excuses for abusive mothers though. If it were the father that was abusive, it would be a different story, I assure you.
6. Petulant Pixie said:
August 31, 2007 @ 1:33 pm
I need to comment, that “pixie” isn’t me. Just to make that clear.
7. Matt Burton said:
September 1, 2007 @ 3:57 pm
It is worth noting that
Sydney’s birth certificate reads Sydney Burton, her mother had Sydney’s name changed rather recently
Alan voluntarily (ie. without any court order mandating it) paid child support during Sydney’s entire life and visited her as frequently as he was able. These court proceedings are the result of Maggie refusing to allow Alan to visit her. No attempt was made, or even considered to take Sydney away from her mother.
Walworth, WI is about a 40 minute drive from Crystal Lake, IL. While this is in fact, out of state, it is not a great distance.
Please be aware of the facts before attacking a grieving parent.
8. pixie said:
September 1, 2007 @ 5:56 pm
Matt Burton wrote:
“”"”Alan voluntarily (ie. without any court order mandating it) paid child support during Sydney’s entire life and visited her as frequently as he was able.”"”"
Yes, clearly Alan did a fine job of supporting Sydney and her mother. The mother and daughter were living of the good-will of the mother’s parents at their home. Mother and daughter often frequented a bakery where the little girl was given a discount on an 85 cent bagel (charity on the part of the bakery) while the mother nursed a latte. Sad that they were reduced to this “standard of living.”
It must have been so affirming for Magdalene to learn that the Alan, the father of her child was planning to buy a house for himself, his soon-to-be new wife and in preparation for a future family. I read that Magdalene desperately wanted a house for herself and her daughter. Did Alan ever offer to help with a down-payment towards a house for Magdalene and Sydney? Did he ever pay for a nice vacation for the mother of his child (for all the hard work of raising their child)? Anything?
“”"”visited her as frequently as he was able.”"”"
At his convenience over the years, I’m sure.
Several news sources have stated that a petition to the court for joint custody (as opposed to visitation privileges of a non-custodial parent) was presented to the court in January. If a petition for joint custody was made, it must have been a very worrying shot across the bow and a very threatening move to Magdalene. She was very upset and agitated in the last months of her life because of this (according to news sources).
9. Annoymous said:
September 1, 2007 @ 9:17 pm
I knew Maggie and Sydney. I knew Maggie’s niece, Sydney’s cousin. Maggie was mean to me and my mom and Sydney would always tense up around her mother. I feel so bad for Sydney. u hear about these types of stories and ur heart sinks. Then, u hear about these stories and u knew the people and it feels like the air has been knocked out of u. u dont know what ur emotions are. and maggie, was not a poor, innocent woman, I should know. The father of Sydney is NOT the one who killed Sydney, he is NOT the one who jumped in front of a train, all he wanted was to c his kid. Sydney didnt deserve to die.
10. Annoymous said:
September 1, 2007 @ 9:22 pm
o and another thing Pixie, Maggie would go to panera at 10 am every morning, glued to her laptop, and have sydney read or draw everyday for hours. Sydney was starting second grade and had read every harry potter book. Maggie once visited Sydneys skool and Sydney got one wrong on a worksheet and Maggie slapped her and sweared at her in Polish. Its all over the news. so Pixie, if u think that is good parenting, I would hate to c ur definition of a bad parent. how can u even defend her after she commited a murder and a sucicide? all the dad wanted was to c his kids and u dont even know Maggie or Sydney, I do. I know what Maggie was like, u dont. ask Sydney what she thought of her mom… o wait, her mom killed her.
11. Annoymous said:
September 1, 2007 @ 9:30 pm
pixie, the father of sydney did pay child support. if u find out ur ex is buying a house, u dont freak out and kill ur kid and urself. and fyi, they werent living at maggies parents house. they were there for the summer. they have their own apartment or something. and if maggie wanted a new house, she shouldnt be having an expensive car or glued to her laptop at panera. u r basically saying that if ur ex buys a house and wants to c his kid, u should kill the kid and urself and thats not right. u dont know anything about this, it makes me sick to read ur comment about sticking up for a murderer. how dare u defend her. it is never ok to kill ur kid and then kill urself b/c u r mad at ur ex. all he wanted was to c sydney. again, u could ask sydney what she thought of her mother but the mother killed her. u better get ur facts stragiht pixie.
12. Annoymous said:
September 1, 2007 @ 9:35 pm
pixie, according to maggies niece, sydneys cousin, sydney had 3 rooms of toys, they had a expensive car, could afford to eat out, had a laptop. if they were poor, maggie shouldnt have sat on her butt all day/everyday glued to her laptop and have sydney draw or read. she should have gotten a summer job. maggie was selfish!
13. pixie said:
September 2, 2007 @ 2:04 am
Anonymous,
Maybe there was a reason that Magdalene was mean to you and your mom? I am speaking for Magdalene because she’s not here and I am, and having known of too many single mothers in similar situations personally over the years who’ve been “dragged through the mud and forced to eat dirt” so to speak, I thought it important to add another perspective. Though none (thankfully) went to the extreme that Magdalene did, I can intuit the circumstances that might have driven her to do what she did).
How could something like this have happened? Pressure naturally builds up over time, and when a single mother has been figuratively beaten up and beaten down over time, treated disrespectfully, been taken advantage of, pushed into a corner and stripped of dignity, she may come out fighting in a rage like Medea. This sort of thing (forcibly turned into a floor mop by a series of unkind people and/or circumstances), is rarely perpetrated on a single mother who is in a position of power or is fortunate enough to be protected from this sort of abuse by virtue of: a powerful established family, mentors, or strong affiliations; a financial safety-net such as a decent job with steady income, deep pockets with assets such as a house and savings, etc., or who are able to fight back by claiming some form of discrimination. This will keep this bogeys at a distance and they’ll turn to easier prey. They are often attracted to the vulnerable single mother with an exceptional child.
I don’t think Magdalene had any of these safety measure in place to any great degree. She had her parents (who seem like very dear people), but they were/are immigrants to this country, and perhaps not savvy regarding how to navigate the system. In this day and age, having a laptop, a car, an apartment hardly equates with living a comfortable lifestyle, it’s standard fare; it seems that Magdalene and her daughter were living a relatively marginal lifestyle.
Magdalene was just starting to get “the wind under her sails” after spending all those preschool years raising her daughter. In the past year she had begun working for the board of Education, when what do you know, one of Sidney’s first grade teachers takes it upon herself to start discrediting Magdalene behind her back in an effort to get the school to report her to DCFS for child abuse (apparently Magdalene swatted her child a few times and some other relative non-issues in the great scheme of things, imo). This teacher must’ve realized that Magdalene’s chances of becoming a teacher could be ruined, and her opportunity to create a better life for herself and her child by working as a teacher could be jeopardized as well as her retaining custody of her only child. How undermining was this, in addition to all the problems Magdalene was encountering with her ex-boyfriend? People can be so cruel and thoughtless.
It’s interesting how there are some people working within the system (many without children of their own, and without a great deal of true empathy and/or life experience from which to draw) who don the mantle of the “expert,” then try and/or can make life miserable for vulnerable people when they see an opportunity, all under the guise of “being helpful” (they actually stir up a lot of trouble needlessly). They cleverly avoid making waves against those that are in a position of strength and power, but look for those with vulnerablilities with which to scrutinize and feed off (rather than being a true agent of healing, support and service).
It’s sickening and heartbreaking to read about this sort of thing happening; a single mother is targeted and slowly nudged closer and closer to the edge of the precipice and finally, when she does go over the edge (taking her child with her), no one seems to have a clue. How could this have happened? Well, duh.
Annoymous said: she (the mother) should have gotten a summer job. maggie was selfish!
Response: This is so classic. Magdalene wanted to spend the summer with her daughter and she was being “”"”selfish”"”"!
14. Annoymous said:
September 2, 2007 @ 11:59 am
ok pixie, if maggie wanted to be with her daughter over the summer, y did she take sydney to panera everyday, sit on her butt glued to her laptop, and have sydney sit there for hours? that is not how a 7 year old should spend her summer. Maggie was a crazy woman. people who murder their own child and then take their own life is crazy. it doesnt matter that her ex was buying a house or getting married, he wanted to c his child. after paying child support and taking care of sydneys well being, he has a right to c sydney but maggie was selfish and wouldnt let him. there was no reason she was mean to me and my mom. she was just a bitter person. anyone would have to be crazy to do the things she did. u said she was a teacher and that is true but what u didnt know what that she would write the “f” word, “butt monkey” and “butt face” on top of the kids papers that she taught in a different language. when the teachers asked her about it she said, “they are pet names” she smacked sydney for getting one wrong on a worksheet, sweared at her in polish, and when the teacher told her it wasnt nessicary to do that, maggies response was “I could just kill her” maggie was not in a bad situation financially, but mentally she was. Pixie, I dont think u r aware of the big picutre here and that is: MAGGIE KILLED HER DAUGHTER AND THEN JUMPED IN FRONT OF A TRAIN! how can u sit her and defend that type of behavior? I am sure sydney doesnt think it was right, I am sure the dad doesnt think that is right, I am sure the whole family doesnt think that was right, I am sure the whole world doesnt think that is right. no one “nudged her closer and closer to the edge” she was selfish and took two lives a way and broke a bunch of hearts. if that is the type of person u want to defend, then I feel sorry for u and sydney. just remember this, commandment number 5 in the ten commandments, “thou shall not kill” and that is exactly what maggie did. regardless if her ex wanted a life with someone he loved or wanted a better house, maggie broke one of the ten commandments. she would have gotten the death penatly if she was still alive.
15. Shannon Berry said:
September 2, 2007 @ 6:34 pm
OK, clearly some facts need to be laid out and misconceptions corrected. I am intimately involved in the situation, and have remained silent while coping with my own grief, and that of my family, however, I can no longer stand by and watch the media and other individuals argue over points about which they know little. Here are the facts as I know them:
1. Maggie had an opportunity for higher education long before Sydney was born and prior to meeting Alan, Sydney’s father. She did not chose that particular route for herself. This was not due to finances, as scholarships and student loans are available to all in this country. (I will argue that point with anyone who disagrees, as I paid for school completely on my own.)
2. Maggie was employed as an exotic dancer BEFORE she met Sydney’s father. I am not saying this makes her a bad person, however, it does speak to her character in that, again, she chose to do this for a. She chose to continue doing that kind of work after Sydney was born, not because she was financially strapped, but because she enjoyed the work. This is per people who knew her, not speculation.
3. The relationship between Maggie and Alan ended prior to either knowing that Sydney was on the way. In fact, Alan found out about the pregnancy through a mutual friend, as Maggie had no intention of ever telling him. This was because SHE did not want any further romantic involvement with him, including marriage, and she told many people as much. Please do not assume she was left with her heart broken, while Alan casually moved on to the next relationship. This was not the case. In the past 7 years, she had maintained that she did not desire a relationship with Alan, and certainly would not have wanted to be forced into a marriage to “do the right thing.”
4. From the time Alan was informed of Maggie’s pregnancy, he supported her emotionally and financially. He attended prenatal appointments, and was there for the birth of his daughter, despite being treated coolly by her family. He never questioned paternity, despite the pleas of friends and family that he be tested. He gave Maggie what was equal or above what a court would have ordered in child support. In addition, he also bought her clothes and other essentials when she was visiting, which was often until Aug of 2006. There was never a court order for any of this as it was always amicable. Sydney loved her father (and his fiancé/wife and step sister), and loved coming to visit. She would cry when she had to leave. I am NOT suggesting the child was unhappy at home, just that she missed her father when she had to go.
5. Last year, for no apparent reason, Maggie cut off visitation. She would not give a reason, nor would she return Alan’s calls. He was patient, thinking that she would come around, but in January, decided he had to take action in order to see his daughter. PLEASE NOTE: The two never fought, and in fact, never spoke to one another for a whole year. Per Alan’s lawyer’s advice, Alan followed the letter of the law and did not attempt to see Sydney without a court order, despite the fact that he missed her terribly. He only wanted visitation, and was advised that he must seek joint custody in order to establish visitation, after mediation failed. Incidentally, mediation failed because Maggie refused to sit in a room and talk this over with Alan and the mediator, even though she never gave a reason.
I am not trying to make Maggie out to be a bad person as a mother, though there is no denying that she is a murderer and for that I will never forgive her, nor am I attempting to make Sydney’s father out to be a saint, however, there are circumstances that may come to light as to why Maggie did what she did, but she was NOT driven to kill her daughter by an irresponsible or vengeful ex-boyfriend. He, perhaps more than anyone, was shocked and never once suspected that this might happen.
16. pixie said:
September 3, 2007 @ 12:41 am
Shannon Berry wrote:
“”"”Maggie was employed as an exotic dancer BEFORE she met Sydney’s father”"”"I am not saying this makes her a bad person, however, it does speak to her character”"”"
How old was Magdalene at the time? In her teens or her early 20’s? Of course this doesn’t make her a “bad” person, kids make mistakes (that’s all part of growing up) and it doesn’t speak about her character either, but it does speak volumes about yours and Alan’s.
17. anonymous said:
September 4, 2007 @ 1:24 am
I am a former employee of the Panera that Maggie and Sydney used to frequent. Sydney displayed the signs of an abused child. I frequently saw Maggie ignore Sydney for hours on end. Maggie would do her thing on her computer and expect Sydney to color or read a book. If Sydney tried to talk to someone or spaced out for just a few minutes Maggie yelled at her. Sydney was rude to adults. I’m not saying that this is her fault. Quite frankly I think that it is her mother’s fault. Her mother had no shame in being rude to Sydney and calling her demeaning names in public. As any normal child would, Sydney modeled that behavior. When I would try to be nice to her she would stick her tongue out or run away. Maggie thought it was funny. I will regret every day of my life that I did not follow my instincts and call DCFS on that woman.
18. Shannon Berry said:
September 4, 2007 @ 9:37 am
Wow, Pixie, someone really did something to you to make you a mean, bitter person. How does Maggie being a stripper not speak to her character, but does speak to the character of a man who would date a stripper? (Incidentally, that is NOT how they met, it was just a coincidence.) I think the fact that he continued to support her and did not try to make her out to be an unfit mother (which in my opinion, doing that kind of work is not exactly leading a good example for a daughter) speaks volumes about his willingness to try to work things out to maintain a relationship with his daughter. If you want to attack me, fine, but don’t continue to attack him. He is blameless in this. All he wanted was to continue to see his little girl, whom he showered with love at every possible occassion. He did not smother his dauther to death, nor did he force Maggie to. She had her own free will to do that. (On a side note, my sister was married to a real jerk who never gave my niece a second thought after he left her. She would do almost anything to keep her away from him–but never kill her. She loves her more than she hates him. Apparently Maggie didn’t see it that way.) Of course, that is assuming that she killed Sydney to keep her away from her father, which we don’t really know, do we? The police investigation is not over. All who knew Maggie (including her own lawyer) stated that the case was going well, and that Maggie did not show any signs of being upset over the matter. Perhaps she was in a realationship that was going bad, or was in some sort of trouble, or maybe, just maybe, she was just plain crazy. How can you justify a woman killing her own child? Do you have any idea what it takes to smother a person? A human, child or adult, will fight for her life. Maggie had to hold her down for several minutes in order to starve her brain of oxygen for her to stop struggling, then continue to smother her for several minutes longer for her to stop breathing. Think about that beautiful little girl, Pixie, struggling againts a woman she loved and trusted. Let’s say for argument’s sake that Maggie was “tortured” by this visitation case (which is what it was, not an attempt to remove Sydney from Maggie’s custody) and every day was hell for her thinking about Sydney’s father. So what? So run away. Find a new life somewhere else. Women do it all the time. Not to mention there are women all over the world who live way worse than she did and never, never harm their children. What a rough life she had with a nice car, a computer, a roof over her head, parents, and oh yea, a smart, talented, beautiful little girl who thought she hung the moon and stars. If you can justify in your own mind her killing her daughter, then perhaps you, Pixie, need to seek some help of your own, and God help protect any children you may have. In any case, please discontinue your comments about a man you do not know and a situation of which you know little. Your defense of a child killer and slander of Sydney’s father only goes to soil poor Sydney’s memory, and will make you no friends here.
19. Mrs. G said:
September 8, 2007 @ 12:17 pm
I know Alan and I had occasion to spend time with Maggie when she came to my home looking for Alan. Alan loved his daughter and would have laid down his own life for her. He was not threatening to take Syndey away from her mother; he just wanted to spend time with his little girl. I don’t see how that makes him a bad person. Any NORMAL father would want to see his children. For anyone who is misinformed Maggie and Alan were never married! Maggie brought Sydney to Alan’s home to visit her paternal grandparents and seemed to be just fine with taking the child support check he gave her. (By the way friends of Maggie’s have stated that it was too bad none of those checks were ever spent on Sydney) I know for a fact that Alan bought Sydney cloths and many other things when she visited. He played with her and let her be a 7-year-old child and did not expect her to sit for hours on end just reading or drawing. He let her run, ride bike, which he bought for her to have at his house to play with. She was allowed to go to the park and play with her step- sister, who by the way is totally devastated at the death of her, little sister. She never thought of Syndey as a step, she was just “My little sister!”
I have children of my own, 4 to be exact, and I would go to the ends of the earth to protect them, Sure they get on your nerves sometimes but never has a thought of killing one of them crossed my mind.
I can only think that Maggie’s needed mental help. But you cannot blame a father for a mother’s mental state. Perhaps this so-called loving home she was in with her parents wasn’t as loving as you think Pixie. And just maybe before you defend Maggie or slander Alan you ought to know the facts,
You didn’t know Maggie, some of the rest of us did. You don’t know Alan, the rest of us do. So perhaps instead of venting you own person experiences or vendetta against men you should not say anything. My mother has a saying, “Better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.” I think there is no doubt that anyone who can condone a mother killing her child has removed all doubt
20. Sarabei said:
September 10, 2007 @ 1:30 pm
Please GOD don’t ever reproduce…we have enough embicilic morons spouting nonsense that are taking up valuable air and space already. I have NEVER heard such tripe in my life as you are spouting….I don’t even have the words for how idiotic you are….
21. Delusional said:
September 10, 2007 @ 1:40 pm
Wow Pixie, You must be as crazy as Maggie was. And shame on you for thinking ANY woman needs a man to buy her a house and take care of her. There are MILLIONS of women out there that work more than one job every single day to provide for multiple children. Maggie could have gotten off her ass and done the same thing. The fact that you think a woman needs a man’s support to raise a child is insulting to every single mother out there. Have you ever to been to Panera Bread? It isn’t cheap. There are cheaper places to go for free handouts. If this woman was so incredibly strapped and desperate for financial support maybe she should have gotten a job at that Panera after her school hours.
And I do not care how desperate anything makes you. Killing your own child is not the answer.
I sure hope you do not have children. Someday you may decide you can’t hack it on your own and kill them and then yourself.
22. kimtisha said:
September 11, 2007 @ 12:01 am
[quote comment="106737"]Sounds to me like another selfish power grab on the part of the ex to eventually get custody. [/quote]
Sounds to me like “Pixie” is a bitter, close-minded, man-hater who is spouting off about things she knows nothing of. Even faced with the facts from people who know Maggie and Sydney, Pixie turns it around and blames everyone but the woman who killed her daughter in cold blood! Anyone who could defend Maggie’s actions is obviously as psycho as Maggie and I just pray this lunatic doesn’t have children.
23. pixiedustre said:
September 13, 2007 @ 10:59 pm
Let it be very clear that I never, ever said that killing a child was the answer. Shame on YOU. However, it’s so obvious that Magdalene was treated shabbily and being hounded by the ex. I can see why Magdalene’s mother had her doubts about the ex. There is a commandment which states: Thou shalt not steal. Magdalene had a lot stolen from her over the years and was fighting for her life and HER family (herself and daughter), and her right to remain full custodial parent of her daughter in family court. Her ex-boyfriend was never even her husband and got a lot for the little bit of money and crumbs he gave her over the years. It’s clearly evident by reading the posts on this message board that Magdalene was a victim not only of SOUL MURDER but CHARACTER ASSASSINATION as well, and was being viciously smeared for quite a while. Thankfully, the leadership of the school district 47 (where Magdalene was working) showed themselves to be representative of the best qualities one would wish for: understanding, kindness, willingness to give a chance to someone who may have made a mistake in the past (instead of condemning them), working to uplift rather than undermine. Likewise to those at Panera Bakery (aside from the one ex-employee). If the ex-boyfriend had not pushed Magdalene relentlessly and caused her so much distress, she and her daughter would still be here, imo. It’s very sad.
24. Sarabei said:
September 14, 2007 @ 7:24 am
[quote comment="108917"]Let it be very clear that I never, ever said that killing a child was the answer. Shame on YOU. However, it’s so obvious that Magdalene was treated shabbily and being hounded by the ex. I can see why Magdalene’s mother had her doubts about the ex. There is a commandment which states: Thou shalt not steal. Magdalene had a lot stolen from her over the years and was fighting for her life and HER family (herself and daughter), and her right to remain full custodial parent of her daughter in family court. Her ex-boyfriend was never even her husband and got a lot for the little bit of money and crumbs he gave her over the years. It’s clearly evident by reading the posts on this message board that Magdalene was a victim not only of SOUL MURDER but CHARACTER ASSASSINATION as well, and was being viciously smeared for quite a while. Thankfully, the leadership of the school district 47 (where Magdalene was working) showed themselves to be representative of the best qualities one would wish for: understanding, kindness, willingness to give a chance to someone who may have made a mistake in the past (instead of condemning them), working to uplift rather than undermine. Likewise to those at Panera Bakery (aside from the one ex-employee). If the ex-boyfriend had not pushed Magdalene relentlessly and caused her so much distress, she and her daughter would still be here, imo. It’s very sad.[/quote]
And you knew this murderess how? Because if you didn’t know her and I have my doubts that you did, you my dear are an idiot and the perfect example of why some people should not be allowed to breed. NO evidence that has been made public supports your theory of poor widdle Magdalene….treated so bad by EVERYONE that THEY caused her to cold bloodedly murder her child for NO reason. Period. Provide some links, names, and evidence of what you purport. If you can’t then quit posting stupid comments.
25. Mrs. G said:
September 14, 2007 @ 7:53 am
You know Pixie; you must need and want attention very badly. You say Maggie lived off very little. Wrong! She was given well above the amount of child support that a court would have ordered. If she was in such bad shape why was she driving a new car, and where did she get the money for the laptop computer that seemed to mean more to here than her daughter. Clearly you will defend this woman no matter what she did. And again you are bashing a father for trying to see his daughter. In this country most parents whether they have been married or not share custody. A bad father would have walked away when Maggie didn’t even bother to tell him she was pregnant to begin with. He would have said oh well she doesn’t want me involved so I won’t be. This father went to her and offered help and support. Maggie DID NOT WANT TO MARRY HIM. What part of that are you too blind to see. When he got the call in the middle of the nigh that Maggie was in labor he went right to her home and was there for the birth of his daughter. Now that doesn’t sound like a man who didn’t care. And in all you spouting off you keep forgetting that he did support Sydney and he did see her for the first six years of her life on a regular basis. Then Maggie took it on herself to decide he could not longer visit his daughter, so who is to blame here. Had she just kept with their arrangement and let him have time with his daughter there would have never been court preceding to begin with. And since those of us involved with the people you are slamming and with Maggie it is not up to us to provide someone like you with information, you wouldn’t believe it anyway. The person who needs to stop posting stupid comments is you. I don’t care how fare someone thinks they are pushed murder is never the answer. And remember once again, the father acted and was told by his attorney to ask for joint custody. . This would keep Maggie from taking Sydney out of the country, which was the only real fear most of us had. And 2 if you ask for visitation they attorney told him you also ask for joint custody. Any loving father would want that. Once again he was not asking for physical custody and only wanted the right, which was his in any court in the land, to see his child and watch her grown up. And who do you think got hurt the most in all this. I’ll tell you Sydney. She wasn’t allowed to see a father that she loved very much for the last year of her precious life and she was denied the right to grow up and contribute so much to the world because she was such a bright child I know she would have done wonderful things, And why, because her mother decided she should not live any monger. No Pixie, you get your facts straight before you spout off anymore of you babble. And take a look at that school. Perhaps had they actually done their job Sydney would not have been in a position to be murdered. I dare say there are some people who should be loosing sleep over the fact they didn’t do what the state mandates. And since you did not know Maggie personally nor do you know Sydney’s father personally how can you sit there and judge either one of them in any light. And for your information I am not bashing Maggie, I am sorry to say I think she was sick and was in desperate need of some mental health care, but that is all I am willing to give. No one pushed her to this except her on paranoid feelings. You can spout all you want but there is just no defending what she did and none of us who know Sydney’s father nor anyone else who know ALL the facts, which you obviously don’t, of this case would ever blame him for what happened. And for your information he is grieving for his daughter and is also grieving for the death of her mother. It is not what he would have ever wanted for either of them. So unless you can come up with some hard fact to support you babblings I would suggest you cease them, You won’t gain any support for anyone who knew all the parties involved or from anyone with any common sense.
26. pixiedustre said:
September 14, 2007 @ 2:46 pm
Controlling, manipulating people should have backed off and gone about attending to THEIR business rather than insinuating themselves in and riding slip-shod over MAGDALENE’S life and personal affairs (and that of her daughter’s). Magdalene never married the father of her child (no contract), nor did she ever contract to be a surrogate mother/womb to carry the child (for her ex or anyone else to remove at will). Magdalene wanted to retain her personal freedom and full custodial rights of her child (which she risked her life and health giving birth to and years thereafter), and wanted the ex to leave her in peace so that she could continue being a mother to her daughter without all the constant interference. Magdalene feared the loss of privacy and autonomy and was resisting being forced to relinquish everything that she treasured and worked so hard for (her child). All to be taken away by someone who had that bigger house, bigger yard, bigger family, bigger bankroll (big woop). The petition/motion of trying to obtain JOINT custody was just evil and cruel (imo) and backfired. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
27. Mrs. G said:
September 14, 2007 @ 4:42 pm
Wake up and smell the coffee lady. No one tried to control Maggie. She made the choice to have a baby. She also allowed the babuies father to be a part of that childn’t life for six years and then all of a sudden one day she decided to take that away, Sound like she was the one playing games here. And how do you know what she felt or didn’t feel? Do you know her? Did you ever speak with her? No you are spouting off about things of which you know nothing about. And what bigger and better house and all. Sydney’s father also lived with his father until just last year. And beleive it or not Pixie his only obligation, which he totally full filled was to his daughter. You can not spout off you constant babble about a person you don’t know. You dod not know Syndey, her father or her mother for that matter. Hopefully this will be the last time someon has to tell you to shut yoyur moth about things of which you know nothintg, Bad mouthing Sydney’s father will not bring her or her mother back. Standing there and making false accusations agains a man who loves his daughter very much and of whom you no nothing about just shows how ignorant you really are. I have come to the conclusion that you are not defending Maggies at all. The only defense for her is sadly to say she needed mental help she didn’t get because that wouldb e the only reason I can think a woman would murder her child. And before yopu shoot your big mouth off again Sydney’s fahter did not push her to the limit. And in the USA lady all father have rights to see their children married or not. I guess you must have on miseralbe life that you have jumped on this band wagon of youras to try and make a grieving father and the rest of his family suffer even more. Why don’t you give it a rest and let poor Sydney rest in peace and her mother as well if that is at all possible for you.
28. Mrs. G said:
September 14, 2007 @ 4:52 pm
To those of you reading this blog please excuse all my typing errors in the last posting. I am just so angry that someone who knows absolutly nothng about the situation, nothng about Maggie, Sydney or Alan would keep osting such mean and hateful thngs. This woman obviously needs some mental help herself. This child is my stepgranddaughter and I love her very much. I would never have considered her to be a step only just my granddaughter, And I don’t really care what Pixie or anyone else thinks for that matter this beautiful little girl is no longer with us because of a tragic turn of events and her father can not be blamed. There are some people I hope are loosing sleep at night about this, starting with school officials who didn’t do thier job and attorneys and courts that drug out the procedings so long that perhaps they did make Maggie inscure. That we will never know. It is too bad a judge can not make a decision, tell a father he can see his child and reassure a mother that she is not loosing that child in just one or two visits instead of draggin it on for almost a year. Perhaps the justcie systejm needs a revamp. I just hope everyone understands that we all miss Syndey and we enjoyed her visits everytime she was here. And just so you know Pixie, Sydney lover her father a lot. She cried every time she had to leave him and wanted to stay, but he always did the right thing and took her back to her mother. So why don’t you go find someone else to slander and pick on. Or better yet get away from your computer, get some help for yourself and get a life.
29. Sarabei said:
September 14, 2007 @ 6:26 pm
[quote comment="109043"]Controlling, manipulating people should have backed off and gone about attending to THEIR business rather than insinuating themselves in and riding slip-shod over MAGDALENE’S life and personal affairs (and that of her daughter’s). Magdalene never married the father of her child (no contract), nor did she ever contract to be a surrogate mother/womb to carry the child (for her ex or anyone else to remove at will). Magdalene wanted to retain her personal freedom and full custodial rights of her child (which she risked her life and health giving birth to and years thereafter), and wanted the ex to leave her in peace so that she could continue being a mother to her daughter without all the constant interference. Magdalene feared the loss of privacy and autonomy and was resisting being forced to relinquish everything that she treasured and worked so hard for (her child). All to be taken away by someone who had that bigger house, bigger yard, bigger family, bigger bankroll (big woop). The petition/motion of trying to obtain JOINT custody was just evil and cruel (imo) and backfired. Two wrongs don’t make a right.[/quote]
You act like the biological father had NO rights.
As much as it must hurt your bitter man hating self, Alan had EVERY right to want visitation with his daughter. So what if he was getting ahead and getting a house? Jealous Much Pixie? Please run don’t walk to your nearest hospital and sign yourself into the mental ward and get the help you SO richly deserve.
30. pixie said:
September 14, 2007 @ 9:32 pm
Yes, Magdalene made the choice to go through a pregnancy and give birth to HER child. She did not make the choice or decision to give up that child or to share JOINT custody of that child. Bringing Magdalene into court seeking JOINT custody (not merely visitation privileges) was a choice and conscious decision on the part of the EX boyfriend (not the school officials or anyone else). The EX was never even her husband. This obviously caused Magdalene great distress and panic with the dreaded thought of having her child taken away from her–just look at the consequences. Magdalene (Maggie) was a young, vibrant, intuitive and very special person in her own right (still only in her 20’s) who was successfully working toward making a better life for herself and her daughter. She deserved “The Gift of the Magi” (O. Henry), not “dreck.”
31. Sarabei said:
September 15, 2007 @ 4:59 am
[quote comment="109097"]Yes, Magdalene made the choice to go through a pregnancy and give birth to HER child. She did not make the choice or decision to give up that child or to share JOINT custody of that child. Bringing Magdalene into court seeking JOINT custody (not merely visitation privileges) was a choice and conscious decision on the part of the EX boyfriend (not the school officials or anyone else). The EX was never even her husband. This obviously caused Magdalene great distress and panic with the dreaded thought of having her child taken away from her–just look at the consequences. Magdalene (Maggie) was a young, vibrant, intuitive and very special person in her own right (still only in her 20’s) who was successfully working toward making a better life for herself and her daughter. She deserved “The Gift of the Magi” (O. Henry), not “dreck.”[/quote]
First let me state to anyone else posting here, after this post, we should just ignore pixie, she is abviously a trollish attention whore and by responding we are just feeding her narcissitic needs. She obviously is not all there herself and must be a bitter sad person who has no clue as to the laws, etc. A FATHER of a child has AS MUCH RIGHTS AS THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO SAID CHILD. Without Alan there would NOT have been a Sydney. He had as many rights as that cold blooded murderess.
32. Marina said:
June 14, 2008 @ 7:06 am
only comment to make here was maggie met alan at the stripclub so what does that say about a man that would impregnate a stripper. sorry shannon berry your not the only one who knew them and alan did not do crap for MOST of sydney’s life.
33. Rita said:
June 14, 2008 @ 1:08 pm
I also need to add, having stumbled on here that pixie is NOT me (I’m “petulant pixie” in the community).
34. Maggie's BF said:
August 20, 2008 @ 3:24 am
I think that all of you really need to stop talking about things that you do not know about. First of all, those that say that they knew Maggie, Sydney or Alan, besides family, DID NOT KNOW THEM.
I am/was Maggies boyfriend for the three and a half years before this tragedy. The fact that I am not mentioned in anyones post of the “facts” cause they “knew” Maggie and Sydney is absolute bull. I spent the last three and a half years of my life (now four and a half since this happened) with those two and those were the best days of my life. If you worked at Panera and really have anything to say, why not mention me as being a cruel person,too? I was there almost everyday that they were. I was there when Sydney went to her fathers house and had to ask someone in the neighborhood how to get back to his place because her “father” had sent her to the local park with his, at the time, girlfirends daughter, who was only 3 years older, by themselves. Sydney’s “father” was an absenty father for most of her life. I know cause I was there for Sydney. Any of you that continue to lie about them really need to stop what you are saying. I know what was going on, I know that Sydney’s “father” was not what he wants people to believe he would be. I was there. I supported Maggie and Sydney. They stayed with me when they weren’t at Maggie’s parents’ house. Anyone saying that they know them, saying that they know what went on with them on a day to day basis and don’t mention me in thier life, obviously didn’t know them. STOP LYING!!!! STFU!!!! I have enough grief in my life without you morons trying to get your two seconds of fame from saying you know them. As for Alan, I am truely sorry that you lost a child, but honestly you don’t know my pain because I raised Sydney from 3 to 7, not you. Stop trying to be the martyr. You were and absenty father and you always will be. Anyone who posts after this, if you don’t know MY name, you don’t know Maggie or Sydney, so STOP POSTING!!!!
PS - Thank you pixie for being at least a little bit sensible in this whole tragic matter.
35. Stacey S_MOD said:
August 20, 2008 @ 10:11 am
That has got to be such a horrific way to die especially at the hands of your own mother! I can’t even begin to imagine the fear & horror that poor little girl experienced in her last moments of life! If she was so hell bent on killing her child & couldn’t even fathom another way out, why couldn’t she think of a more peaceful way to do it! I don’t give a shit about what the circumstances were, that is absolutely inexcusable & unforgivable!