You had me at goodbye

Posted March 29, 2007 at 1:44 pm by Prescott

It’s been 24 hours since I dropped off my wife and sons at the airport for a trip to Florida with Grandma. This should be the part where I start talking about how I’m pining away for the children’s laughter. How the creaky step on our staircase once reminded me that the house was a living, vibrant place but is now lonely and empty. How I’m sitting here in my worn, overstuffed chair, smoking a pipe, and gazing out the window counting the minutes — nay, seconds — until my precious family returns to the warm bosom of our humble abode.

Fuck that.

I’m as giddy as one of Gwen Stefani’s pets. I’m enjoying myself immensely. I picked up the house yesterday and it was still clean when I woke up this morning. Last night I poured myself a big glass of red wine and watched a movie with lots of violence and swearing. Before 9 p.m. I know, right? This morning I went to Target, and it only took ten minutes. I can’t believe how liberating it is to have the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want. Not shower until noon? Play the piano at 2 a.m.? Blast cheesy cock rock through the stereo? It’s all good.

And my level of efficiency has increased! Here’s what I’ve accomplished so far:

1. Cleaned the garage
2. Organized the bookshelf by subject, then author, then title
3. Wrote a 400 page memoir
4. Read the entire Bible — twice
5. Learned all 32 Beethoven sonatas (to be fair, not by memory)
6. Built two houses for Habitat for Humanity
7. Discovered a cure for cancer, won the Nobel prize, spent the cash award on craft beer and expensive bourbon

I can’t wait to see what I get done this afternoon! Ah, four more days of being responsible for no other living creature but myself and the dog.

OH SHIT, THE DOG!

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Tags: Family, vacation

8 Responses to “You had me at goodbye”

1. 1. Petulant Pixie said:
   March 29, 2007 @ 2:15 pm

   I’m jealous. Have fun.

2. 2. PaulGuise said:
   March 29, 2007 @ 6:48 pm

   I really wish now that my wifes family lived a little bit farther away. I cant exactly convince them to go visit her parents with they live just down the street.

   Good luck with the rest of the free time mate.

   Cheers

3. 3. Prescott said:
   March 29, 2007 @ 6:54 pm

   Well, Paul, I would hope that you receive a nice share of free babysitting to make up for it.

4. 4. Allison said:
   March 30, 2007 @ 10:24 am

   Funny. I can totally picture you dancing through the house like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. Maybe you can sing yourself the “Goodnight Song” this evening. And I’m sure Jess would love to find that you’ve fastened yourself a cute little German oufit (complete with lederhosen) out of her drapes!

   (anyway, I almost wet myself when I clicked on your Gwen Stefani link! Those Asian chicks are weird)

5. 5. prescott said:
   March 30, 2007 @ 11:08 am

   Let me just say that there are lederhosen involved, but I bought them on the internet.

6. 6. CrankMama said:
   March 31, 2007 @ 6:02 pm

   I can relate. Just got back from an overnight BY MYSELF. Heavenly.

7. 7. Prescott said:
   March 31, 2007 @ 7:48 pm

   OK, I will admit that now after several days it’s starting to get unsettling, my working from home probably being a large part of that. I’ve had the radio on the entire day just to have some background noise.

   Although tomorrow night, my last night of “freedom”, I plan on sauntering over to the local brewpub and enjoying a stout (or 2. or 3.) with the locals and my book, so perhaps my initial feelings of elation will return…

8. 8. thordora said:
   April 9, 2007 @ 1:25 pm

   oh….how I love me some empty house…

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