We often hear about the victimization of women and young girls as the tragic recipients and victims of violence. We also hear about the suppression of women and the constant struggle for equal rights and equal opportunities. It has been a long battle to shorten the gap between social and political disparities between the genders while progress continues to be made with the aid of social activists and support networks.

But boys aren’t without challenges growing up in America today either and it is easy to take for granted that boys will fend for themselves. The stereotypes of boys is both a curse and burden as girls are warned of their intentions early on, “Don’t trust boys. Boys are only after one thing. Boys try to dominate. Boys suppress their feelings and keep healthy emotions bottled up. Boys are more violent. Boys are aggressive. Boys are…”, the list goes on.

In some ways, I actually think it’s harder to be a boy growing up in America today. When a mother of only boys introduces her children to a stranger, she is often met with eyes of sympathy. I am no exception when I think about my preconceived, ideal family make-up which always included a girl to dress up like a doll and plan a ginormous wedding for. Now that I have boys and am done having children, acceptance has prevailed and I have learned to love having the challenge, uniqueness and pleasure of having boys only. I have grown to appreciate them immensely. From the request for shaggy haircuts, torn jean fashions and maxin’ and relaxin’ to Drake and Josh, life is both amusing and sweet with boys in it.

I do worry about them though and the expectations on them in our society. Will a girl come along and break their hearts, will they be discouraged from exploring boyish wonders while society forces them to get real with their feminine sides? Will teachers, historically partial to girls anyway, treat them unfairly and will they be able to find a balance between sticking up for themselves and empathy? We want our boys to embrace our expectations when it benefits our society, like providing for their families or working in the coal mines or having the strength to lift a dead body to a gurney, yet we want them to go against their biological instincts and be more like women. Our society despises them as much as they expect from them. We expect our boys to fight on the front lines and risk their lives for us, yet society tries to constantly diminish their roles and contributions. What is a boy to do?

It breaks my heart when mothers are disappointed when they hear they’re having a boy. Of course, both genders would be ideal, but my point is that boys are not a punishment and I think they are sometimes perceived as such. While we need to raise our boys to be compassionate, responsible and kind, we should also celebrate the differences between boys and girls and not attribute values to one gender over another. Boys should be celebrated too and if one is lucky to have more than one or all boys, they should count themselves lucky to be initiated into the boys club.

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