I would want the school that my son attends to enforce rules that restrict swearing, and for me, this would include taking the Lord’s name in vain. I realize that not all parents will feel that taking the Lord’s name in vain is swearing and every parent has the right to his/her own rules in their houses of course, but when it comes to classroom rules where all children are present, I think we should err on the side of no swearing (including these types of expressions). If nothing else, I think it is bad manners to allow it – all the religious stuff aside.

That said, I never like it when a child reprimands and adult. That is also bad manners in my opinion.

And I should also say that I swear like a sailor when I’m at home. I have a terrible potty mouth. I am trying to work on it – especially now that my son is starting to talk…cuz crap, he’s totally going to pick up all of my bad f*cking habits, kwim?!

It is very invasive for someone to tell me what I can and can not say. I DO say “oh my god” quite frequently, as does my son. However, the other day he said “Jesus Christ” and it made me cringe and I asked him not to say it.
Why?
I have no idea. Leftover concerns from my Catholic youth I suppose.

I try not to say OMG and similar expressions around little kids, because I know other parents disapprove and I wouldn’t want them dropping the f-bomb around my little pitchers, you know? However, I agree with Cristina that it was rude for the child to correct you, and that’s the larger offense here.

Coming from a Catholic upbringing I still feel naughty when I use the Lord’s name in vain (notice the capitalization, I still adhere to those rules too). That doesn’t stop me, however. But when it comes to my daughter we’re going to steer her towards using other terms like “gosh” and “jeez”. I don’t think it’s appropriate for a five year old to run around screaming “Jesus, mom, I just want one cracker before dinner.” or “God, dad. You guys are so lame.”

I have a daughter who used to correct adults all the time about what was right and what was wrong. We worked on teaching her that it was not polite to do so, and also…LIGHTEN UP! Geez, Miss Six Years Old, go play or something. You are not responsible for enforcing the rules around here.

That said, I think that was a kid who might be testing to see if what one adult says applies to another adult? To find out just who is in charge?

I’d have said something like “sometimes adults say things that are not okay for children to say.” Her mommy is right–SHE shouldn’t say those things, but other adults can and sometimes do. It’s a variant on different houses/different rules.

Interesting topic.

A few thoughts come to mind…

Invoking the Lord’s name in any manner not respectfully directed to him is clearly against the Ten Commandments. Apparently God doesn’t want his name worn out either. Honestly, how would I feel if people used my name like a curse or exclamation? I’d get sick of it fast.

For anyone who doesn’t care what he thinks, well, my question is, would you invoke and blaspheme the name Mohammad if you knew you were likely in the room with committed Muslims? Or would you choose to respect that they revere him so much? It is simple to choose a path of peace and tolerance.

The last thought was about “minced oaths”. I say “golly” “gee” “gosh” and countless others of them with no guilt at all. God never claimed those as nicknames, and I don’t think I’m narrowly avoiding invoking Deity by using them. They’re nothing more than silly expressions. Jeepers, enough already, we’re done with the Pharisees and their rules on rules that obscured the original value and turned them into Jesus’ only recorded dartboard. It is notable that he didn’t pick on gays or adulterers or weak-hearted, lazy people. He got angry with hypocricy. Someone like that is worth respecting, even if it’s only in memory and not faith.

Well, I have a pretty low standard for cursing. In my mind, it’s okay to use bad words, but not okay to use them about or to people.

So “f*king hammer” is okay, but “f*king idiot” is not. “You stupid jerk!” Is not okay, but “stupid piece of crap microwave” is okay. In my book, which is obviously not the same as a lot of the rest of you. I also avoid using this kind of explitive and language in public, because I feel it’s disrespectful to those around me.

And taking the lord’s name in vain… honestly I think that one must be cultural. We don’t live in a culture where a lot of kids have even minimal church experience. So what’s the difference to them between “God Dammit” and “Joe Dammit”?

You want a specific rule for your house or classroom, I think that’s fine. We all need to learn to “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” and meaningless rules about what is and isn’t a curse word is certainly the least of our worries. Kids and adults should be taught to use language that is respectful of those around them, which inlcudes racist comments, common curse words (sh*t etc.), cultural curse words (Goddamnit) and just basic derogatory language (jerk, dick-head, idiot etc.).

Maybe I think the question should more be along the lines of “Why is it okay to use disrespectful/hurtful language at all, regardless of wether or not your god or my god is implicated in the sentence?”

I have tried to teach my kids from an early age that each household has its own set of rules. I’ve never really had to deal with it inside the classroom, but kids do understand that when at a friend’s house they should respect those rules (just as I expect their friends to follow our house rules). I do try to watch my mouth around the kids, but sure they’ve heard their fair share of damn its, shits, and craps. What’s funny is that the “s” word in our house isn’t shit, but stupid. My children are not allowed to refer to themselves or others as stupid. Oh well, I wasn’t allowed to say butt growing up. To each his own.

I have tried to teach my oldest that sometimes people have different ideas about what is acceptable behavior or speech but basically, in someone else’s house, you should follow their rules, as long as they don’t violate any of OUR rules. At school, you follow the teacher’s rules and OUR rules. If there is any question about areas where those might intersect, ask me first.

I have to wonder, is it only offensive because this little girl is most likely Christian. It seems that it is perfectly okay (and trendy) to offend or be annoyed by Christians.

Having said that however, it is not a 4 year olds place to correct or tell anybody else how to act. If she was so concerned, she should have let an adult know and the adult would presumably give her the “everybody is different” spiel. Sounds like a precocious little girl that needs a reality check.

Jessica, you make a valid point about the denigration of fundamentalist Christians – particularly in a more liberal-minded forum such as the Internet. But on the flip side, I know from experience that in more conservative-minded areas, there’s much less sensitivity to those with religious beliefs outside the WASP arena – including Catholics, let alone non-Christian religions.

That said, if someone told me that he/she was offended by my use of “God” or “Jesus” in casual conversation, I’d refrain from using those names – in front of him/her – because they’re colloquialisms.

But then, racial slurs used to be considered colloquialisms too.

I think I’m siding with nomotherearth on this one — if you’re in a community/society where certain bits of language may be considered offensive (religious, secular, whatever), it’s polite to refrain from using that language when it really doesn’t take away from the point you are trying to make. Seems like the mature position to take.

Personally, in our household we rarely censor ourselves, and don’t want to. As such, we’ve always made it perfectly clear from day one with the kids that there’s a big difference between what is acceptable privately and publicly, and it’s never been a problem.

It’s funny how little kids can be so bossy. Their worlds are so rule-driven and it gives them great pleasure to impose their rules on others. Annoying, isn’t it?

I’ve become inured to Oh My God and similar exclamations. I’ve heard them so much I don’t hear them anymore.

My older child is very into God right now. It makes me a little uncomfortable, trying to hide my doubts. When someone sneezes, I just say “bless you” although sometimes to be snarky I want to teach them to say “Gesundheit!” instead.

I am a Christian and it does offend me and generally makes me cringe outwardly and inwardly to hear people use the Lord’s name in ways they do! “Oh My God!” My brother’s response is “He’s my God, too!” People are so careless about how they use words any words, we say them without thinking about what they mean or how they will affect others around us. Love can be said about anything from a pair of shoes to a car. We should all be more careful of our use of the language we use.

I was brought up in a Christian, country community in the 50′s. Back then, manners were taught to children of all classes, all races, all incomes. It was like your name and your word. People knew you by your name, your reputation, how honest you were. Your word was as good as any contract. Small children just didn’t say “Oh, My God”. They were TAUGHT not to. These days, parents really aren’t teaching their children much of anything good. Kids are taught at an early age to grow up and make their own decisions because most parents don’t want to be bothered. Choose what you want to wear to school, choose what brand expensive clothes you will wear, choose what you want to eat. Nine and ten year old girls are wearing make up and panty hose and act like they are 17. Parents think it’s “cute” to let 10 and 12 year olds “date”. Then wonder why they are having sex and/or pregnant at 13. Children rule the home these days. Parents are doing what the four year old tells them to. Then, one day, you wake up and you have a 6′ 180# 17 year old pushing you around, screaming obscenities in your face, having sex with whoever in his/her bedroom while you are in the den entertaining the bridge club. And you wonder what happened. Then you want to call the police and have them fix a problem that you created over a period of 16 – 17 years. I work in law enforcement and I can tell you, this problem cannot be fixed that late in the game. I taught my son ‘yes, ma’am, and no, sir’, ‘thank you and please’. Don’t curse, DO NOT TAKE THE LORDS’s NAME IN VAIN, don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Do NOT mistreat girls. Do not start a fight, but don’t back down from one. Always keep your word. Be a good friend. Be honest, don’t lie, steal or cheat. No body likes a tattle tale. No body likes a whiner. Stand up for what you believe. “I’m your mother” and “because I said so” sometimes were the only explanation I had to give. You don’t have to like me, but you will respect me. If you put your feet under my table and eat my groceries, you will follow my rules. Do your chores, save your money. Be kind to old folks, small children and dogs. I could go on and on. My son is 32. He lives his own life. He has done things I don’t approve of and he knows it. But, some of the things I taught him stuck. When he has a problem, he comes and talks to Mama because he knows whether I agree or not, I won’t lie to him and I won’t tell him anything that will hurt him. He STILL says ma’am and thank you and please. He is a grown man and people still stop me on the street or in the grocery store and tell me they ran into my son and they go on and on about his manners, because that means a lot to some people. My son, even today, doesn’t always like me, but he loves me and he respects me and he won’t let anyone talk about me or mistreat me. Do you want to teach your children to be respectful, respectable, members of society? Or will you raise them to be rude, cruel brats that think they will never have to be accountable for their actions? The kids you are raising today will one day run this country. And from the kids I see where I live, that is a frightening thought.

I have a terrible potty mouth, and I’ll admit it’s been hard curbing it. I’m pretty good about the common “swear” words, but Jesus! and Jesus Christ! come out of my mouth a lot. I never noticed it until Julia started repeating it.

I try to curb it, and I try to say “gosh” instead of “Oh, my God” in front of her, not because I’m particularly religious (I’m not) but because my husband’s family is. And I feel that it’s disrespectful for her to be taking the lord’s name in vain in front of family that would be offended by that.

Interesting topic, MGM!

Mamatulip,

Oh, I know, once I could shame a sailor!! But, our babies pick up on everything. And because they are babies, they will repeat what they hear usually at the worst time.

You’re right, it is disrespectful. If you don’t teach your child this, no one else will. Good luck.

Prescott, whooooo, you really are nasty, aren’t you?

Do you want to teach your children to be respectful, respectable, members of society? Or will you raise them to be rude, cruel brats that think they will never have to be accountable for their actions?

I think teaching a child those things has less to do specifically with language and more with how they speak to someone. Respectfully or disprespectfully? Thinking only of themselves or thinking of others? If you’ve used language that’s offended someone, I think it’s probably a good learning experience to apologize and be more mindful of that word around them. It’s courtesy.

I think I may be onto something with the “no swear/hurtful words at people” concept. An individual word isn’t good or bad, it’s how you use it that makes the difference.

My son has become more and more aware of these things lately and I told him right up front, you don’t correct someone else on their decisions to say or do certain things. The best way to live your life is in a way that makes people wonder what is in your life that makes you so happy/at peace. You don’t lecture people, you live your life the way you think is best and if someone asks, then you explain it. Plus, you don’t get that holier than thou attitude of telling people what’s right and wrong for them to do, it’s none of your business.