31. Linda

November 28, 2006 @ 10:43 am

I am a Christian and it does offend me and generally makes me cringe outwardly and inwardly to hear people use the Lord’s name in ways they do! “Oh My God!” My brother’s response is “He’s my God, too!” People are so careless about how they use words any words, we say them without thinking about what they mean or how they will affect others around us. Love can be said about anything from a pair of shoes to a car. We should all be more careful of our use of the language we use.

32. Stephanie A.

November 28, 2006 @ 1:22 pm

Personally, I think teaching understanding is a good idea. At the same time, though, you should not be expected cater to everyone’s religious needs with your speech all the time. We know our very religious friend is offended by “Oh, my God!”, so we try to limit our use of it. However, if we slip or forget, I think he needs to be a little understanding of the fact that it is not a huge deal to us.

Personally, I have found that when you expect change on others around you based on your needs you are nearly always disappointed.

33. Shannon Alday

November 29, 2006 @ 10:18 am

I was brought up in a Christian, country community in the 50’s. Back then, manners were taught to children of all classes, all races, all incomes. It was like your name and your word. People knew you by your name, your reputation, how honest you were. Your word was as good as any contract. Small children just didn’t say “Oh, My God”. They were TAUGHT not to. These days, parents really aren’t teaching their children much of anything good. Kids are taught at an early age to grow up and make their own decisions because most parents don’t want to be bothered. Choose what you want to wear to school, choose what brand expensive clothes you will wear, choose what you want to eat. Nine and ten year old girls are wearing make up and panty hose and act like they are 17. Parents think it’s “cute” to let 10 and 12 year olds “date”. Then wonder why they are having sex and/or pregnant at 13. Children rule the home these days. Parents are doing what the four year old tells them to. Then, one day, you wake up and you have a 6′ 180# 17 year old pushing you around, screaming obscenities in your face, having sex with whoever in his/her bedroom while you are in the den entertaining the bridge club. And you wonder what happened. Then you want to call the police and have them fix a problem that you created over a period of 16 - 17 years. I work in law enforcement and I can tell you, this problem cannot be fixed that late in the game. I taught my son ‘yes, ma’am, and no, sir’, ‘thank you and please’. Don’t curse, DO NOT TAKE THE LORDS’s NAME IN VAIN, don’t drink, smoke or do drugs. Do NOT mistreat girls. Do not start a fight, but don’t back down from one. Always keep your word. Be a good friend. Be honest, don’t lie, steal or cheat. No body likes a tattle tale. No body likes a whiner. Stand up for what you believe. “I’m your mother” and “because I said so” sometimes were the only explanation I had to give. You don’t have to like me, but you will respect me. If you put your feet under my table and eat my groceries, you will follow my rules. Do your chores, save your money. Be kind to old folks, small children and dogs. I could go on and on. My son is 32. He lives his own life. He has done things I don’t approve of and he knows it. But, some of the things I taught him stuck. When he has a problem, he comes and talks to Mama because he knows whether I agree or not, I won’t lie to him and I won’t tell him anything that will hurt him. He STILL says ma’am and thank you and please. He is a grown man and people still stop me on the street or in the grocery store and tell me they ran into my son and they go on and on about his manners, because that means a lot to some people. My son, even today, doesn’t always like me, but he loves me and he respects me and he won’t let anyone talk about me or mistreat me. Do you want to teach your children to be respectful, respectable, members of society? Or will you raise them to be rude, cruel brats that think they will never have to be accountable for their actions? The kids you are raising today will one day run this country. And from the kids I see where I live, that is a frightening thought.

34. prescott

November 29, 2006 @ 10:40 am

Back in my day, we didn’t use paragraph breaks AND WE LIKED IT!

Ms. Alday, my children both say “please” and “thank you”, and are respectful of their elders — in fact, most of the things you mentioned in your rant are the rules of our house. I am certain they will grow up to be valuable members of society.

Just one problem. I don’t teach them not to take the LORD’S NAME IN VAIN, because I don’t believe in a LORD, ergo, the rule does not apply. See how that works for me? But I do tell them that others take this god silliness rather seriously, so out of respect for their feelings they should try to refrain from saying it in public, the same lesson I teach about swearing in general.

35. mamatulip

November 29, 2006 @ 10:49 am

I have a terrible potty mouth, and I’ll admit it’s been hard curbing it. I’m pretty good about the common “swear” words, but Jesus! and Jesus Christ! come out of my mouth a lot. I never noticed it until Julia started repeating it.

I try to curb it, and I try to say “gosh” instead of “Oh, my God” in front of her, not because I’m particularly religious (I’m not) but because my husband’s family is. And I feel that it’s disrespectful for her to be taking the lord’s name in vain in front of family that would be offended by that.

Interesting topic, MGM!

36. Shannon Alday

November 29, 2006 @ 2:56 pm

RE: “Ms. Alday, my children both say “please” and “thank you”, and are respectful of their elders — in fact, most of the things you mentioned in your rant are the rules of our house. I am certain they will grow up to be valuable members of society.

Just one problem. I don’t teach them not to take the LORD’S NAME IN VAIN, because I don’t believe in a LORD, ergo, the rule does not apply. See how that works for me? But I do tell them that others take this god silliness rather seriously, so out of respect for their feelings they should try to refrain from saying it in public, the same lesson I teach about swearing in general”

Prescott, forgive me. I tend to do my personal email in a flying rush that I skip paragraphs breaks. Your sarcasm did not go unnoticed.

I did not intend for my previous comment to become a “rant”, however, upon reading it again, I can see that it did. I have a habit of getting on a soap box and I certainly didn’t mean to offend.

Your blog appeared to be asking how other people felt or thought on the subject. I only meant to express my thoughts, what worked for me, and point out that something is obviously not working in today’s society. I didn’t mean that whatever goes on in your home is not working for you. I apologize if you took it that way.

And just purely out of curiosity, what do you believe in?

37. Shannon Alday

November 29, 2006 @ 3:03 pm

Mamatulip,

Oh, I know, once I could shame a sailor!! But, our babies pick up on everything. And because they are babies, they will repeat what they hear usually at the worst time.

You’re right, it is disrespectful. If you don’t teach your child this, no one else will. Good luck.

38. prescott

November 29, 2006 @ 3:45 pm

Ha! I certainly wasn’t offended, Shannon, it takes a lot more than that, especially since I wasn’t the author of this blog post. I simply took issue of your over-generalization of “kids today” — kids, may I remind you, being raised by the offspring of your generation.

And just purely out of curiosity, what do you believe in?

I believe in magic, in a young girl’s heart.

39. Shannon Alday

November 29, 2006 @ 4:42 pm

Prescott, whooooo, you really are nasty, aren’t you?

40. prescott

November 29, 2006 @ 4:51 pm

I have to call her Ms. Jackson, I’m so nasty.

41. wookie

November 30, 2006 @ 2:50 pm

Do you want to teach your children to be respectful, respectable, members of society? Or will you raise them to be rude, cruel brats that think they will never have to be accountable for their actions?

I think teaching a child those things has less to do specifically with language and more with how they speak to someone. Respectfully or disprespectfully? Thinking only of themselves or thinking of others? If you’ve used language that’s offended someone, I think it’s probably a good learning experience to apologize and be more mindful of that word around them. It’s courtesy.

I think I may be onto something with the “no swear/hurtful words at people” concept. An individual word isn’t good or bad, it’s how you use it that makes the difference.

42. Jamie

November 30, 2006 @ 4:03 pm

I think it’s a matter of common courtesy. When I was a kid I couldn’t say I “hated” something in front of my mother. Certain words and phrases were considered in poor taste and I agree that in a classroom setting kids shouldn’t be exclaiming “Oh my God!” out of respect for other kids. Just last night I told Caitlin, my 4-year-old, that she was acting like a brat and she responded to me by crying, “MOMMY THAT’S A BAD WORD.”

I think our society has become lax enough on what is acceptable behavior. I may not have a problem with my kids saying “Oh my God” at home, but I would want to reinforce to my girls that not everyone thinks that is a proper thing to say. But not that it’s morallly “wrong.”

This is a timely topic because my husband has had to scold me lately for letting shit slip in front of the kids. Sigh…

Also, I think the little girl who scolded you was being a tad bossy for calling out a parent. Four-year-olds can definitely be bossy. I should know. I live with one!

43. natasha

December 1, 2006 @ 9:12 am

My son has become more and more aware of these things lately and I told him right up front, you don’t correct someone else on their decisions to say or do certain things. The best way to live your life is in a way that makes people wonder what is in your life that makes you so happy/at peace. You don’t lecture people, you live your life the way you think is best and if someone asks, then you explain it. Plus, you don’t get that holier than thou attitude of telling people what’s right and wrong for them to do, it’s none of your business.