I know folks in Iowa are proud of the fact that they live in BFE(I?) and don’t feel the need to lock their doors. That may be all fine and good, but if that’s the case you might want to keep an eye on your damn kids. From The Daily Nonpareil (the newspaper for Snowcaps lovers!):

OAKLAND - Sheriff Jeff Danker said that a 2-year-old girl was seen walking through the streets naked and holding a diaper at approximately 11 a.m. Two citizens tried to find where the girl belonged and knocked on several doors.

“(The citizens) got her clothing; she was basically cold,” Danker said. “They talked with different people, but couldn’t locate the child’s guardian.”

Of course, the child was quickly reunited with her mother, since she was out frantically looking for her daughter. Oh, wait, that wouldn’t be a very interesting blog post. No, this genius thought the kid’s dad had taken her to daycare, and didn’t contact the police until several hours later. Apparently child services didn’t buy her lame story, and her dumb ass landed in the pokey.

UPDATE: Good lord, it’s happened again! WTF, people?! Tomorrow we’re going to wake up to find mass armies of toddlers walking the streets — if they’re all facing towards Italy, you might want to be on the lookout for a mother ship…

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