A full on smooch, would have sent me running to HR, but, a hug and air kiss, is really not something that I would tend to consider harassment…unless clearly uninvited and repeated after a verbal “bonk on the head” to an older, unaware male manager.

Corporate culture does play a role here. During international business trips, I frequently encountered both male and female managers initiating a hug upon greeting. In a Mexican based company, with which I worked, this was also a common occurrence.

Perhaps, as a baby-boomer, I was a little more accepting than a woman entering business today. For goodness sakes, male managers SHOULD know the new rules by now!

Thanks for all of the comments on my post…I blog to think and I’m getting lots to think about.

That is just really, really odd.

Interesting comments on the handshake in general. We had a speaker in the all girls school where I teach who mentioned that topic and asked girls what sort of handshake would be appropriate for them to use in the business world, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being the dead fish!). Her answer was that it depends on the situation, but somewhere in the middle was probably best. Oddly enough, she never even brought up the issue of whether they would be shaking a man’s hand or a woman’s hand, just that the best impression was created with a certain amount of firmness. The overboard bone-crushing handshake was never an option.

What’s interesting is how we will raise our sons and daughters to enter, an obviously intergenerational, workforce. Some of the older members of a workforce may cling to the old ideas. What do we tell our children? What advice can we give them?

Perhaps it was because I worked with older salesmen. Perhaps I looked huggable - my DS certainly thinks so :-)My primary defense was to take one step back as the outstretched arms came my way and thrust my hand forward with a hearty handshake.

Since my DS is still a bit young, haven’t quite needed to think about how to handle this yet. Of course now that you have brought it up…I will.

Anyway, I see what you’re saying, but I’ll take the traditional values over today’s casual values. I think most of them extend themselves as common courtesy.

Many years ago, the reason that a prospective suitor had to ASK the woman’s father for her hand in marriage had to do with the transferral of property from the father to the groom. And there was the issue of dowry (payoff). Nowadays, such a procedure is no longer required. Women don’t “belong” to anyone and once she is on her own, she is fully able to decide for herself whether or not she wants to marry. Permission from her parents is not needed. I was 27 when my husband and I married and 26 when we became engaged. I was living on my own and teaching full time. I knew my parents liked my fiance and his parents liked me. The engagement was between the two of us. My husband did not go to my parents and ask them for permission or blessing to marry me. One, because the permission wasn’t there’s to give. Two, because we no longer follow those archaic traditions. Three, if one and two are true, then why go through a meaningless gesture that only hearkens back to a darker time for women?

I guess what I’m trying to express is my puzzlement over traditions that are now fairly harmless but are only considered “norms” because we’ve always done them. Yet…no one seems to know why. And if we do know why they used to be observed and the attitudes behind them no longer exist, why do we still do them?

Again…no repression or victization. Just curiosity. (I don’t have emotocons…so you can’t see me smiling)