30 Seconds to a Happier You…
Posted
October 16, 2006 at
3:48 pm by
Redsy
One of the fantasies I employ while writing here at the Imperfect Parent (and also when I write at CrankMama), is the dream that once in awhile you hardworking imperfectionists will laugh and feel better about yourselves (or at least better than me) after reading.
To this end, I’ve created this handy list for you. Start your superiority complex engines:
On childrearing & domestic duties…
1. How often my children eat vegetables - once a week
2. Frequency of bathroom cleaning - once every 4 - 6 weeks
3. What we had for dinner tonight - waffles with peanut butter (Them), quiche (Us)
4. How often I swear around my children, despite half-assed (see?) attempts to stop - daily
On being a good wife…
5. Ratio of compliments given to hubs versus received by him - 1/20
6. Frequency of sex - not going to tell but it would make you feel superior if you knew
On exercise…
7. Who me?
On losing and gaining weight after having V…
8. Gained 43, lost 40, gained 8 more = 11 pounds more to love
9. See #7 above
On being high maintenance…
10. Number of hair products, ungents, pills, potions, hours of sleep, hugs, and kisses it takes me to begin each day - 1500
Tags: Humor |
5 Responses to “30 Seconds to a Happier You…”
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1. Amy said:
October 16, 2006 @ 4:55 pm
I have to tell you that I often wonder how tall my 14 year old would be (he’s 5′8″) and what size shoe he’d wear (he wears a 12) if he EVER ate a vegetable.
Truly. Once a week sounds like a dream come true!
2. Cristina said:
October 17, 2006 @ 12:28 am
We just cleaned our bathroom for the first time in 2 months so I’m there with you on that one. And the swearing. I can’t seem to stop no matter what I do. My son is only 15 months old but he’s going to start talking soon so I know I need to quit it. But it’s so FUCKING hard, you know?
3. Stacy said:
October 17, 2006 @ 2:27 pm
Until someone else is as repulsed as I am by the state of our batrooms, I’m not lifting a sponge.
4. Jessica Carlson said:
October 18, 2006 @ 6:54 am
Swearing daily establishes authority because that’s when you get to teach your kids the valuable lesson that you can do whatever you want and they can’t. It’s fun!
5. Ames Tiedeman said:
November 5, 2006 @ 4:49 pm
Great post! Thanks for lettiing me smile in a world gone mad!