Comments on: The Best of Intentions http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/ Parenting, Politics and News for the Perfectly Challenged Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:14:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Sonia http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3830 Sonia Wed, 11 Oct 2006 13:27:17 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3830 Great article and great comments above. Just wanted to thank you for shedding light on the good lot of us stay at home parents that have been somewhat ignored, or at least underrepresented in the media, who find more joy and fulfillment in sharing life with their children, not housework. My son isn't old enough for Boy Scouts yet, but I'm sure I could ask his father what he's thankful for in having me working at home, and I'm sure his first thought will NEVER be about the laundry. Maybe it'll be about food (we both love to cook & I have more time to enjoy it), but I hope I have given my husband and son both enough reasons to enjoy my company than any housekeeping ability I may accidentally excel at. Great article and great comments above. Just wanted to thank you for shedding light on the good lot of us stay at home parents that have been somewhat ignored, or at least underrepresented in the media, who find more joy and fulfillment in sharing life with their children, not housework.
My son isn’t old enough for Boy Scouts yet, but I’m sure I could ask his father what he’s thankful for in having me working at home, and I’m sure his first thought will NEVER be about the laundry. Maybe it’ll be about food (we both love to cook & I have more time to enjoy it), but I hope I have given my husband and son both enough reasons to enjoy my company than any housekeeping ability I may accidentally excel at.

]]> By: TB http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3787 TB Tue, 10 Oct 2006 13:16:49 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3787 But now they're old enough to appreciate the things you've written. I hope you share your writing with them. What you've managed to do is exactly what I strive for - you've made your own career doing what you love while still being able to be at home to mother your children. And apparently, you've done it seamlessly. But now they’re old enough to appreciate the things you’ve written. I hope you share your writing with them.

What you’ve managed to do is exactly what I strive for - you’ve made your own career doing what you love while still being able to be at home to mother your children. And apparently, you’ve done it seamlessly.

]]> By: ortizzle http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3773 ortizzle Tue, 10 Oct 2006 02:50:45 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3773 Aaaawww, shucks. Anyway... two thoughts on that: 1. I think they pretty well know what they would say about you at the Eagle Scout award ceremony, and I'm betting that they wouldn't dare to even think about nicely ironed uniforms. 2. No matter how well-trained men are to do stuff around the house, they do tend to think with their stomachs before getting down to the metaphysical side of life. Last year when my husband and I came back from a two-week vacation staying with his family, he remarked that he was ready to come back because he "missed my cooking." Funny how I had a totally different take on it: what I missed when we got back was his family's maid doing the ironing, ha, ha. Aaaawww, shucks. Anyway… two thoughts on that:

1. I think they pretty well know what they would say about you at the Eagle Scout award ceremony, and I’m betting that they wouldn’t dare to even think about nicely ironed uniforms.

2. No matter how well-trained men are to do stuff around the house, they do tend to think with their stomachs before getting down to the metaphysical side of life. Last year when my husband and I came back from a two-week vacation staying with his family, he remarked that he was ready to come back because he “missed my cooking.” Funny how I had a totally different take on it: what I missed when we got back was his family’s maid doing the ironing, ha, ha.

]]> By: Mary http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3771 Mary Mon, 09 Oct 2006 23:46:36 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3771 Well, that does it. I'm going to ask my kids (ages 25 and 22) to write down what they remember about me as a mother. I'll tell them to think of this as a rehearsal for my memorial service. Good practice. I am terribly curious now. Well, that does it. I’m going to ask my kids (ages 25 and 22) to write down what they remember about me as a mother. I’ll tell them to think of this as a rehearsal for my memorial service. Good practice. I am terribly curious now.

]]> By: Jessica Carlson http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3708 Jessica Carlson Mon, 09 Oct 2006 15:07:48 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3708 My kids are still little to understand and appreciate things beyond taking care of them, which it part of my job, but I do appreciate the fact that my husband points out to our older son, the sacrifices I make. In turn, he is a sweet little boy that always makes it a point to be appreciative, when I least expect it. I think empathy and appreciation is something that is taught as well. We always make a point of telling him, before holidays, that even if you don't like a gift that is given, you thank and appreciate it because somebody worked hard and had kind thoughts in giving it to you. That has transferred to his appreciating what I do. When I ask, "Wasn't that nice of our neighbor to take in grab our garbage can so that it didn't blow away? They could have just as easily left it there, but instead got all wet because they cared about us?" I can see his little wheels spinning. Even little things like this help him recognize what I do, but kids aren't born that way. They are born selfish. I have to remind him that I go to work because I want him to be able to have a drum set or daddy and I divide chores because we all need to do our part and be nice. We also make it a point to point out how everybody helped to contribute to successes we've gained. Of course, I don't have teenagers yet, so perhaps that mutual appreciation might change it's tune one day soon. My kids are still little to understand and appreciate things beyond taking care of them, which it part of my job, but I do appreciate the fact that my husband points out to our older son, the sacrifices I make. In turn, he is a sweet little boy that always makes it a point to be appreciative, when I least expect it. I think empathy and appreciation is something that is taught as well. We always make a point of telling him, before holidays, that even if you don’t like a gift that is given, you thank and appreciate it because somebody worked hard and had kind thoughts in giving it to you. That has transferred to his appreciating what I do. When I ask, “Wasn’t that nice of our neighbor to take in grab our garbage can so that it didn’t blow away? They could have just as easily left it there, but instead got all wet because they cared about us?” I can see his little wheels spinning. Even little things like this help him recognize what I do, but kids aren’t born that way. They are born selfish. I have to remind him that I go to work because I want him to be able to have a drum set or daddy and I divide chores because we all need to do our part and be nice. We also make it a point to point out how everybody helped to contribute to successes we’ve gained.

Of course, I don’t have teenagers yet, so perhaps that mutual appreciation might change it’s tune one day soon.

]]> By: Amy http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3676 Amy Mon, 09 Oct 2006 11:42:11 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3676 I have to believe that good kids value good parenting in the long-run. None of us know what it's like to parent until we have our own kids, or at least grow up a bit. So if my kids, right now, value a stocked refrigerator and clean socks in their drawer, so be it. I think that when they are older they will look back and be conscious of the time, effort and sacrafice. And I don't want thanks, I would just like them to carry it with them and be good parents to their own kids. I have to believe that good kids value good parenting in the long-run. None of us know what it’s like to parent until we have our own kids, or at least grow up a bit. So if my kids, right now, value a stocked refrigerator and clean socks in their drawer, so be it. I think that when they are older they will look back and be conscious of the time, effort and sacrafice. And I don’t want thanks, I would just like them to carry it with them and be good parents to their own kids.

]]> By: Spamboy http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3675 Spamboy Mon, 09 Oct 2006 11:37:33 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/10/09/the-best-of-intentions/#comment-3675 That kid reminds me of a wedding I went to a couple years ago, where the couple was ultra-conservative and "traditional." The groom's vows were about heading the family and being the decision-maker, while the bride's vows were about being her husband's servant. On either side of me were my future wife and future sister-in-law, and it was like wearing headphones as they made yakking sounds and stuck their fingers down their throats. Perhaps I was devil's advocate, but something in me said, "Maybe, just maybe, the two of them up there will be happy with this supposed division of labor. Just...maybe." That kid reminds me of a wedding I went to a couple years ago, where the couple was ultra-conservative and “traditional.” The groom’s vows were about heading the family and being the decision-maker, while the bride’s vows were about being her husband’s servant. On either side of me were my future wife and future sister-in-law, and it was like wearing headphones as they made yakking sounds and stuck their fingers down their throats. Perhaps I was devil’s advocate, but something in me said, “Maybe, just maybe, the two of them up there will be happy with this supposed division of labor. Just…maybe.”

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