Great news for parents who smack their kids
Posted
October 8, 2006 at
6:50 pm by
Jessica
A long term study was conducted in New Zealand on the effects of spanking children and concluded that not only is it okay to smack your kids, it could be beneficial.
Although we’re not personally of the spanking ilk, I do think that when used judiciously (and rarely), and in cases of dire consequence and safety matters (like a child repeatedly trying to run out into the street or spitting on you when asked nicely to do something), it’s okay. I do find myself cringing however, every time this article uses the word “smacked”. It just doesn’t sit right with me. Spanking seems so much less severe and harsh. Or how about love taps? Can we call them that?
Of course, they really ruin it for parents who spank (not me!) when they bring up the kids that are abused and neglected, and throw them into the whole “smacked” group. You wind up saying to yourself, “I don’t want to be associated with those freaks”, so you just drop your stance altogether, and kids continue to be brattier and more and more self absorbed. I know this may have nothing to do with spanking, but I sure as hell it has something to do with lack of discipline.
Thoughts?
AP source, published in World News Australia:
The lead author of the study, psychologist Jane Millichamp, said that the project appeared to be the world’s first long-term study to specifically identify and monitor participants who had simply been smacked with an open hand.
Preliminary analysis showed that those subjects had “similar or even slightly better outcomes” than those who were not smacked in terms of aggression, substance abuse, adult convictions and school achievement.
“Study members in the ’smacking only’ category of punishment appeared to be particularly high-functioning and achieving members of society,” Ms Millichamp said.
“I have looked at just about every study I can lay my hands on, and there are thousands, and I have not found any evidence that an occasional mild smack with an open hand on the clothed behind or the leg or hand is harmful or instills violence in kids,” she said.
“I know that is not a popular thing to say, but it is certainly the case.”
Tags: child-abuse, discipline, Parenting, spanking |
8 Responses to “Great news for parents who smack their kids”
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1. CrankMama said:
October 11, 2006 @ 6:28 pm
I’m in favor of taking back the world from the runaway brats out there… and I agree that judiciously used for certain kids, spanking might be preferable to “discussing the issue” and “timeouts”… For certain kids, these tools just don’t work. I’d say “some kids just need the big guns..” but that sounds just wrong
2. Emilia Liz said:
November 10, 2006 @ 5:24 pm
Regarding the use of the word “smacking” versus “spanking,” my first question would be where are you from.
In Britain and other former Commonwealth countries (other than Canada), “smacking” is generally a synonym for what North Americans call “spanking.” In North America “smacking” generally signifies however “slapping.”
I remember reading an article by a British woman who used the words “smacking,” “spuds,” and “sprog.” I later found out the North American equivalents for those three words are “spanking,” “potatoes,” and “child,” respectively.
3. Emilia Liz said:
December 1, 2006 @ 9:49 am
I think spanking has become a bit of an all or nothing issue. On one hand are those who think even a swat on the butt of a toddler who’s making a dash for a busy street is abuse. On the other are those who think if parents refuse to spank they’re going to raise a godless heathen destined to become another Columbine shooter. Maybe a happy medium would be the best course!
4. Michelle said:
January 15, 2008 @ 7:53 am
Whether you “spank” your kid or not, why not just call it what it is? “Hitting”. It’s as simple as that.
There are numerous ways to describe a “spank” too. From the S&M kind to the kinds that leave bruises on kids’ backsides. An open palm can do this too.
Hitting. Hitting. Hitting. That’s all it is. Why do people get so worked up about it?
Is it because using the word “hitting” implies that they are doing something wrong, and using the word “spanking” means that what they are doing is ok somehow?
And I’ve never once seen a parent do a “timeout” correctly. Every single parent I know has no f*cking clue how timeout even works. And they will threaten the kid with “if you don’t stop that, you’re gonna get a time out!” It makes me want to go up to the parent and HIT them!!! HARD!!!
5. fimp88 said:
September 2, 2008 @ 4:16 pm
Personally, I don’t think spanking is child abuse. I just don’t believe that a quick swat on the behind is the same as beating your child. I find that other discipline methods and tactics are much more effective though. With our kids, we use timeouts, redirection, etc. and have found these work better for us. There is a really interesting debate about spanking at http://www.opposingviews.com/questions/is-spanking-an-acceptable-form-of-discipline. Experts from both sides debate the issue and provide rebuttals to the other side’s arguments. Really great read on the topic!
6. CarolAnn said:
September 2, 2008 @ 6:21 pm
Spanking done without anger (from the parent) can be effective if you tell the child why you are spanking them, we spanked our daughter on occasion and she always knew why she was getting spanked..she was never bruised, abused nor scared…she has turned into a beautiful responsible productive adult! To those who don’t believe in it…to each their own, but I tried that “timeout” crapola it didn’t work as well. And for all those new parents who like to “count” my daughter cured us of that…I’d say ONE, TWO and she’d start chiming in THREE,FOUR etc…lol
7. GrandmafrmKs. said:
September 2, 2008 @ 10:47 pm
Well, I will say I have 14 grand children, ages 2 to 23, some know a spanking, some don’t. and believe me you, you can tell the difference in their behavior, I guess what most parents don’t understand is spanking don’t mean beating, it don’t mean it is an every day event, it only takes a few spankings to get their attention and they know when you say some thing and they dis obey some times a spanking is deserved.
As far as counting 1-2 -3, that is so un-useful, I have a great neice who done exactly what Carol Ann said her daughter done, It seems some parents would rather yell at the top of their lungs out in public and look like an idiot rather than control their bratty kids destroying every thing in site.
Jessica, the word discipline is almost unheard of, I had a lady in my office one day and asked her why she would let her 3 yr old daughter kick her and spit on her, why don’t you just give her a good swat on the butt? she said (I was shocked) “oh that would have to be the last resort!” oh my God when is that? this womans legs were bruised from this little person kicking her, So I asked her “when is the last resort/ when she is 13 and running you in the ground?” Her answer was “I don’t know”
I think we need some more of Bill Cosby telling parents how to say “I brought you into this world, and I’ll take you out” J/K but I loved his show. What does a little butt warming hurt, I had a few, and I gave a few, and my kids are wonderful, God gave that butt for more than just sitting on it, I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s not some thing that is often needed once they know who is boss if talking to them does not work, what next? what ever they want to do? Well thats what you see a lot of, Is the child running the home,
8. Kymberly said:
September 3, 2008 @ 11:41 am
Eh, whether you hit, spank, smack, or talk about time-outs until you are blue in the face the truth is that parenting - done properly - is work!
Virtually every parent I see who (in my mind) is a “good parent” with “good kids” is willing to understand that it’s “work.” There is no quick fix.
Whatever your method of discipline I think being consistent and having it well thought out (and controlled) is what matters.
The person who smacks wildly and unpredictably (one time it’s a hitting offense the next time the same offense garners little parental reaction) is going to be no more effective than the one reasoning with an unreasonable child or issuing time-outs with little foresight or follow-through.
I think effective parents find the method that works for themselves and their child.