You’re a big kid now…sort of
Posted
September 20, 2006 at
3:56 pm by
Stacy
I have a son who will be 18 on his next birthday. Aside from the cake and inevitable gifts there will be other “special benefits” bestowed upon him by the country in which we live. Some are wonderful and a few…not so much.
In the eyes of the law he will be an adult. He can vote, obtain medical care, or marry without our permission. He can buy cigarettes and, with the blessings of our Big Tobacco-dependent economy, become completely addicted, although I’m not overly worried about the smoking since all of our sons are anti-smoking zealots for the time being.
Upon entering college, his grades will belong to him. We can ask to see them and I’m pretty sure he won’t take issue with it, but our paying for college will not give us the right to see his grades first or even at all. (For the record, I wasn’t smart enough to figure that out when I was in college) He can also, unfortunately, be spirited away against his will by the government to participate and possibly die in a war he does not support. He cannot, however, buy a beer until he is 21. The hypocrisy, it’s killing me.
When I was a teenager, 18 was the legal drinking age. The family birthday gathering in recognition of my new status was eaten sans alcohol, unlike the “welcome to adulthood” celebration rites my friends experienced on their birthdays This was mainly because my parents cared very little about whether America thought I was a Big Girl or not. So it was not respect for their house rules that kept me from drinking at the time, but fear of the draconian consequences that were sure to follow that persuaded me not to flaunt my newly-minted adulthood rights and order from the bar. I waited until I left for college–29 years ago last month–before I had my first beer: a cold can of Coors wrapped in a gym sock (one step away from a bottle in a paper sack) and classily consumed in the hallway of my dorm with half a dozen other friends. Yes, I started drinking at 18 and I didn’t become an alcoholic or die or kill anyone else as a result and I give myself points for all three.
That said, I’m all for the prevention of teenage deaths–or any deaths for that matter– due to drunk driving, or bad driving in general. While we’re at it, why don’t we start cracking down on the senior citizens who think a valid driver’s license, a set of keys and a pulse give them the right to drive on the wrong side of the road and mow down innocent pedestrians? You know why? Because driving in this country is seen as a right and not a privilege. *cough* Sorry…back to my point.
I’m also a believer in upholding the law. But if we claim that the “21 or over” rules are put into place to protect the health of the country’s youngest adults, why in hell are we still selling them cigarettes? Where’s the logic in that? Does it sound to you as though we don’t discourage teen death in general but only certain kinds of death? Doesn’t this render the concept of “legal adult” a rather arbitrary one? Please tell me if I’m in error here.
If my kid is deemed mature enough to enter into legal matrimony, resourceful enough to be a hired assassin for the military or expendable enough to risk death while carrying out the whims of the reigning political party spreading democracy, and he’s considered wise enough to take a gamble with the old cancer sticks, then he ought to be able to buy a beer. That’s all I’m saying.
Tags: alcohol, hypocrisy, legal-system, Parenting |
16 Responses to “You’re a big kid now…sort of”
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1. shelley said:
September 20, 2006 @ 11:12 pm
I was having this exact conversation yesterday — about the hypocrisy of the drinking age being 21 when other “rights” including military service (and the associated killing and death) are perfectly fine at 18, and how I think my friends and I handled being able to legally drink at 18 a lot better than most kids handle *illegally* drinking at all other ages these days. My opinion about this hasn’t changed one iota since the federal government threatened the states with the loss of major highway funding if they didn’t raise the age in the ’80s, and now that I work in student affairs at the university level I’m only that much more certain that the higher drinking age has merely served to increase the incidence of binge drinking and alcohol poisoning on college campuses.
Okay, those were the two longest sentences ever, but I wholeheartedly agree with your post and am so struck by the fact that I’ve just been talking passionately about this very subject so recently after years of quietly grumbling about it. I’m convinced our government has lied to us about why some things are okay at 18 and others aren’t … just as we’ve been sold a bill of goods about why we’re in Iraq. I’m sure I sound like a big conspiracy theorist here, but just because I’m paranoid doesn;t mean they’re not out to get me ….
2. Cristina said:
September 21, 2006 @ 1:31 am
Great post. I’ve often wondered about this myself. What I’m not sure about is whether we should be lowering the drinking age or raising the age to be eligible for military enrollment. But one thing’s for sure, if you’re old enough to go to war, your darn sure old enough for a drink.
3. Jessica Carlson said:
September 21, 2006 @ 6:50 am
Actually, my father required me to show him my grades while I was in college, in trade for his continuance to pay for it. That was the deal and I respected it.
4. Rock said:
September 21, 2006 @ 4:17 pm
Yeah, I think if you pay for it you should see grades - I’m sure you have a great relationship with your oldest where grades and progress will be discussed - but to say it’s his deal is a bit polyanna - but then I’m not a parent, imperfect or not. But I was a kid and one who paid for my own college so it was my buisness - I showed then when they were good - and didn’t when they weren’t - plain and simple.
And by the way - the government can’t come and get your kid to go to war beyond his will - that’s been the law since you went to college and were sneaking beers in the hallway.
5. wordgirl said:
September 21, 2006 @ 4:21 pm
6. Jody said:
September 21, 2006 @ 4:50 pm
But there’s *isn’t* a draft, so that is a non-issue/non-point.
7. wordgirl said:
September 21, 2006 @ 5:15 pm
8. Nils Ling said:
September 22, 2006 @ 7:56 am
…and, as always, the point is elegantly made. I don’t believe you ever said he WOULD be taken into the military against his will; that he COULD is inarguable, since instituting a draft is achieved by passing only one piece of legislation. Hands up, those who believe this Congress and this President are above ramming THAT through. Yeah, thought so. (Put your hand down, Rove - you’re not fooling anyone)
When I was in high school, the legal voting age in my province was reduced to 18 while the drinking age remained at 21. The politicians who didn’t consider me mature enough to control my drinking thought I was plenty smart enough to decide if they were useless or not.
Well, I don’t know if we were bright enough to distinguish between one set of lies and another, but I do know that even the dullest 18 year old was clever enough to figure out how to get liquor if he wanted it. Oddly, none of my friends ever tried to get hold of fake ID to vote.
9. Andrea said:
September 22, 2006 @ 10:44 am
Very true.
The legal age here is 19; across the border in Quebec it’s 18. Lots of kids travel over the border just to get smashed legally there (let’s hope they stay the night and don’t drive home).
The funny thing is that the legal age here was 18, and they raised it to 19 only because legal drinking was causing problems in highschools. But now that the highschool curriculum has been changed and most kids are graduating at 18, the legal age is still 19.
10. Ortizzle said:
September 22, 2006 @ 4:54 pm
I was at U.T. at the height of Watergate. The legal drinking AND VOTING age was still twenty-one. Ironic fact: Eighteen-year-olds were still dropping like flies in the jungles of Vietnam.
And then, one summer day a few weeks after I finally turned twenty-one, they lowered they *voting* AND *drinking* age to eighteen. Because they figured if you were old enough to die in a war that the leadership of your country felt was justified, that, uh, maybe you should be able to VOTE for the &^%$###*&^&*&^% who gave you a possible one-way vacation ticket to sunny southeast Asia. And maybe have one last drink before the Vietcong blew you into a million pieces.
After a long absence, I returned to the U.S. to find that the voting age is still 18, but the drinking age has been raised to 21 again. Teen prohibition or something. But, then again, people in this country are also trying to teach creative design in the 21st century.
I completely agree with you, Stacy. If 18 is considered to be the legal age of reason for everything else, responsibility should extend to drinking, too. If you can shed blood for your country, you can drink a beer. And for those who think there’s no way there would ever be a draft again, think again about who’s running this country. What they don’t like they squelch. What they need, they find a way of getting. Do I detect a whiff of fascism, disguised as patriotism? Whatever it is, it ain’t comin’ with pretzels and beer.
11. Jessica Carlson said:
September 22, 2006 @ 5:17 pm
Aside from how you feel about the war or about military service (I happen to think it’s quite honroable, but that’s just me), you are absolutely correct Stacy. The studies show that raising the drinking age has not directly influenced fatalities on the road. MADD has shown a decrease in alcohol related deaths for those in the current underage drinking demo, but other studies don’t support that correlation. Apparently, all age groups have seen a decrease in alcohol related, vehicular deaths.
The real rub and bone of contention for me is that the Federal Government holds states hostage by denying them the peoples tax dollars to support road and highway building and maintenence. It’s bribery and extortion and as a person that believes that states should have more freedom from the Feds, that greatly concerns me (especially given that this law was created for special interest groups and directly contradicts the facts).
I say boo on underage drinking laws, they probably do more harm than good, all in the name of politics and not the well-being of the people.
12. Mary said:
September 22, 2006 @ 10:51 pm
Don’t worry about the soldiers getting their alcohol ration. They do, legal age or not. Now, as to the 18 year olds being able to buy cigarettes, they shouldn’t be able to. I think it gives tacit approval. Which I don’t. Approve, that is. I was hooked on cigarettes for too long. I quit and it was the hardest thing I ever did. That addiction is like no other. So, make the legal age 25 years old. By then, they should have their heads screwed on fairly straight and most of them won’t want to smoke. As for the draft, 25 seems like a better age for that, too. 18 year olds are babies.
13. Dayngr said:
September 23, 2006 @ 10:02 am
The bottom line is we need to vote, contact our law makers and get heard - or nothing will ever change.
14. Shrinking Violet said:
September 23, 2006 @ 1:00 pm
If you are in the military, you are allowed to consume alcohol on base if you are 18. That’s all I’m saying.
15. wordgirl said:
September 23, 2006 @ 4:26 pm
However, I’m talking about potential here. At age 18 you are considered old enough to potentially do all the things I’ve listed before. I have no problem with the military’s way of bending the law and, at the same time, keeping everyone in one enclosed place to keep up with those who (whether 18 or older) might potentially overdo it on the drinking front. I think that’s actually pretty smart. It’s just that miitary service shouldn’t be the exception to the rule. 18 is 18. I appreciate your comments, SV.
16. Arabella said:
September 23, 2006 @ 7:54 pm
I remember being 18, observing stupid adults getting hammered on cheap booze to the point of illness and incoherency, and feeling like it was completely unfair that I couldn’t even have a half glass of wine with dinner at a restaurant.
Because it was.
And still is.