Real Problems
Posted
September 16, 2006 at
2:50 pm by
Andrea
Sometimes it helps to put things in perspective:
Around 9:30 p.m., when most families are getting ready for bed, she escorts her two sons, aged 6 and 13, down a narrow carpeted corridor in their concrete highrise. Clad in flannel pyjamas, backpacks over their shoulders and sleeping bags and pillows in their arms, the boys wilfully, though not eagerly, accept the journey as part of their routine. They reach a doorway and, with a final hug, their mother leaves them in the care of a neighbour for the night.
Outside on the deserted rain-soaked streets near the intersection of Martin Grove Rd. and The Westway, she catches a city bus and travels north. She transfers to another bus further on, one that eventually drops her off at a condominium where she will mop hallway floors, empty garbage and scrub toilets from 11 p.m. until dawn.
“My sons, they always say, `Please stay with us.’ But I can’t,” she says with a mix of sadness and regret. “I have to leave. I have to work.”
As I read the cover story of today’s Toronto Star, I am even more conscious than usual of the spaciousness of my home, the computer on my lap while my husband plays on the xBox in the basement, my little girl surrounded by a heap of electronic toys.
Too often those of my economic class defend the differences by saying, “I worked hard to get where I am.” I defy any one of them to tell me that they work as hard as Puvaneswaran:
For her labour, Puvaneswaran earns no more than $1,150 in an entire month, often less. The rent for her small one-bedroom apartment is $849.
Puvaneswaran, who is paid $8.50 an hour, borrows money from friends to get by. She has relatives who sometimes send clothes from England. She rations food during the week ???‚¬??? one glass of milk for each boy at morning and one at night. She won’t allow herself any. After 3 p.m., she lets her sons have some fruit, a banana or apple.
Their main meal of the day alternates between rice (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays) and pasta (Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays). On Sunday afternoons, they look forward to a hearty meal at the Hindu temple where they worship. In short, she pays a hefty price to live in the country’s largest and richest city.
So why ???‚¬??? 13 years after settling in Canada ???‚¬??? does a hard-working mother still live in poverty? How many more years will she be expected to live and work like this?
Last week I posted about how the mother’s movement rhetoric too often surrounds the lifestyle choices of affluent women who can afford to decide whether or not to work. Sometimes it helps to have a good stiff kick in the pants to remind us what “tough choices” really look like. I have volunteered with children who live in similar circumstances; anyone who says that a middle- or upper-class child in daycare is suffering for the lack of a full-time mother has never seen what real suffering looks like.
There are hundreds of thousands of children in Canada whose parents were two or three jobs each and who still can barely afford to eat, never mind amass large quantities of battery-hogging toys. I hate to move the conversation beyond their suffering, since that alone should be enough to motivate people to work for change; but human nature being what it is, I’ll point out that the children who grow up in these homes, chronically undernourished, understimulated, with no enrichment opportunities, will not grow up to meet their full potential and will not be able to contribute to our society as productive and engaged citizens (and honestly, why should they?). This will damage the world our children will grow up to live and work and make families in, making it less secure, less peaceful, less just.
Besides supporting the local food bank (which is necessary, but also conveniently lets government off the hook for changing the systems that keep people in such deprived circumstances), I also support a variety of organizations committed to ending poverty in Canada, among them the National Anti-Poverty Organization–itself always struggling to make ends meet, ironically.
If you know of and support a similar organization where you live, please leave the name in the comments below. Maybe someone who reads it will be motivated to take some of their own affluence and put it to a constructive use.
If you or your family are currently benefiting from the work of a particular organization, please also feel free to plug them in the comments section. Oftentimes the most helpful and forward-thinking groups don’t receive the attention they deserve in mainstream circles.
Tags: mommy-wars, poverty, Social Issues, social-assistance, work, working-poor |
12 Responses to “Real Problems”
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1. Jessica Carlson said:
September 16, 2006 @ 4:13 pm
Doesn’t this woman get any government subsidies, like food stamps, housing allowances etc. to help her out?
It’s heartbreaking. It’s hard to imagine, having to ration food for your children. So sad.
2. Amy said:
September 16, 2006 @ 8:01 pm
I admire people who are involved for the greater good. I envy those who do so much for others. I find it hard enough to keep myself and my own kids afloat in our own little world. While we do tend to others, make contributions and do our small part, I cannot and will not feel guilty for having enough, even when so many do not. Some have it much worse than I, some have it much better. I do not have the capacity to take on the world. My world is my children and my charge is to make them global citizens and physically and emotionally healthy adults. That’s all I have in me. And sometimes I wonder if I have that.
3. Darci said:
September 17, 2006 @ 12:45 am
Amazing how life falls on some and lifts others. Until a recent move, I worked with a group in San Jose, Calif. called Families 4 Families (www.families4families.net) which helps local families that are struggling with a one-time donation of services and goods. It’s an amazing organiztion because part of the mission is also to educate the donors as to why and how a family might be in the situation they are in. That must be part of the solution to poverty, don’t you think, to educate those who aren’t in poverty, because then policy changes can happen. Ignorance only breeds indifference.
4. Cristina said:
September 17, 2006 @ 2:03 am
I donate to the food bank in my community every month. When I get more time, I eventually hope to volunteer there also. They have many programs (other than food distribution) to help people get back on their feet. I’d leave the name here but I’m keeping my exact location private for now.
I feel that helping others in need is our duty as human beings. It is also in our self-interest to do so, as you pointed out, because by helping others to become contributing members of society we will be making our world a safer, more peaceful, etc.
5. Jessica said:
September 17, 2006 @ 7:50 am
I forgot to mention my favorite charity:
http://www.shareyoursoles.org/
They collect gently worn and new shoes to donate to third world countries and poverty stricken children.
I just an article that said that most Iraqi children are walking through glass without shoes — most do not have shoes and all they really need are flip flops.
This is a wonderful organization! They have been featured on many talk shows and in the newspaper. It’s my belief that they are truly doing God’s work. The only thing that can be worse than being hungry or cold, is not having shoes, especially in a war-torn village with lots of debris.
6. Andrea said:
September 17, 2006 @ 3:28 pm
Amy, I’m sorry if this post seemed like I was trying to make you feel guilty. That was not my intention. Of course you shouldn’t feel badly for not suffering, and not everyone has the capacity to participate at the same level.
7. Miche said:
September 17, 2006 @ 4:00 pm
I think that sometimes, we see the suffering around us and see the huge gulf between where we are and where those who are suffering are at. I think that sometimes we get overwhelmed at the enormity of it all and mentally decide that if we can’t solve the entire issue, then there’s nothing worth our time that we can do.
Every brick in a building is important for structural integrity. Every small gesture is important. Even if a family can’t afford to contribute food to a food bank, they can clip coupons for baby formula and take them to the food bank, or women’s shelter, or local drop-in playgroup. Don’t read magazines or subscribe to a newspaper? Go online at save.ca/ and select food coupons and have them mailed directly to your house.
I think you did a tremendous job of helping to raise awareness. We don’t have to give away all of our worldy possessions to do Good Things. But you can’t even begin to do Good Things if you close your eyes to those in need.
8. CrankMama said:
September 17, 2006 @ 4:40 pm
Until recently, I was executive director of
[url=http://www.motherbabycenter.org]Mother Baby Center[/url]here in Bellingham, WA. It’s a wonderful organization that helps low-income moms with their transition to parenting. This help ranges from newborn clothing and diapers, formula, and assistance with breastfeeding and infant health. It’s a wonderful organization and very worthy.
9. CrankMama said:
September 17, 2006 @ 4:41 pm
And thanks, Andrea, for this important reminder! We are so very very fortunate.
10. Amy said:
September 18, 2006 @ 3:13 pm
Andrea, you are so right, everyone has a different capacity. I did not think you were trying to inflict guilt. I tend to get my dander up because sometimes people make assumptions that if you’re not drowning you’re a lifeguard. Sometimes we’re merely tredding water and are incapable of helping anyone but ourselves. Maybe I’m selfish, I tend to believe I am just realistic!
11. Brenda said:
September 20, 2006 @ 2:13 pm
Jessica Carlson,
There are no food stamps in Ontario, I presume there are none in the rest of Canada either. Their are no additional benefits for those who live in more expensive places, either. And it is all well and good to say move somewhere cheaper but often cheaper places have no jobs. Although, admittedly, welfare would go further in these smaller cheaper towns, if you were willing not to work.
Also, I just wanted to say that when people say they can not afford to stay home it makes me laugh. I can not afford to work. My hourly wage would not pay for childcare. Granted if I were a single mother I would find childcare however I could, I guess. Luckily I do not have to find out, we can almost survive on my husbands income as long as we don’t want to save anything or buy anything extra. Luckily family has provided us with carseats and cribs and the like.
12. Sonia said:
October 6, 2006 @ 1:21 pm
Thank you for reminding so many of us (including me) just how fortunate we are. I don’t volunteer as much as I used to (before children) but I definitely donate food, clothing and furniture as often as possible.
Just because you don’t have the time, or the money to provide immediate help for those who need it, doesn’t mean that you can’t help. I read recently that if everyone donated ONE ITEM to their local food shelves EACH WEEK, hunger in the U.S. would be eliminated. Pretty powerful statement, which really puts my weekly splurge of organic chocolate into perspective.
Here in Minnesota, we have a better-than-most-states welfare system, but as state, county and city budgets get tighter, so do the funds allocated for these programs. A few fabulous social organizations that work to cover the gaps in services in the Twin Cities area are : Neighbors, Inc. (218 13th Ave. S., South Saint Paul, MN 55075: 651-455-0447) which works somewhat like a Goodwill or Salvation Army location, with some added benefits. Neighbors accepts donations of household goods (clothes, furniture, bedding, etc.) and also accepts food donations. It is run by a small and dedicated group of people (many retirees/senior citizens) who do all they can to connect those in need to the resources that are available.
Another great organization is: Sharing and Caring Hands (sharingandcaringhands.org) A Compassionate Response to the Needs of the Poor
“Sharing and Caring Hands was established to be a bridge from the caring concerned community to the people in need of their help. We receive no government or United Way funding and rely solely on donations to do our work. Every year, the donations of goods, services, time, and money by thousands of people allow Sharing and Caring Hands to make a difference in the lives of individuals, families, and children in need.”