Comments on: Patsy and JonBenet Ramsey may find justice side by side http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/08/16/jonbenet-and-patsy-ramsey-may-find-justice-side-by-side/ Parenting, Politics and News for the Perfectly Challenged Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:42:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: jjwalsh http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/08/16/jonbenet-and-patsy-ramsey-may-find-justice-side-by-side/#comment-2091 jjwalsh Sat, 19 Aug 2006 07:02:43 +0000 http://blog.imperfectparent.com/2006/08/16/jonbenet-and-patsy-ramsey-may-find-justice-side-by-side/#comment-2091 I wrote about this story as well, but from the angle of someone who did lay blame on the parents and is ashamed as you point out I should be. I would also argue that my reaction and the reaction of the general public to blame the Ramseys is a kind of natural mental defense when something horrible like this happens. By blaming the victims or being highly judgemental, it is possible to separate yourself from this horrible tragedy so you can mistakenly believe you are immune from it ever happening to you. I wasn't a parent at the time, but I think a lot of parents were saying, the Ramseys shouldn't have put her in all of those contests parading her about as a sex icon at 3. I think people also look at the parents of the Columbine kids and are similarily judgemental- it must be something they have done wrong because that would "never" happen with my kids... It doesn't help us to bury our heads in the sand, and it doesn't help victims like the Ramseys who had very little sympathy from the media or public, but it is a very common reaction that we need to be aware of. I wrote about this story as well, but from the angle of someone who did lay blame on the parents and is ashamed as you point out I should be.

I would also argue that my reaction and the reaction of the general public to blame the Ramseys is a kind of natural mental defense when something horrible like this happens.

By blaming the victims or being highly judgemental, it is possible to separate yourself from this horrible tragedy so you can mistakenly believe you are immune from it ever happening to you. I wasn’t a parent at the time, but I think a lot of parents were saying, the Ramseys shouldn’t have put her in all of those contests parading her about as a sex icon at 3. I think people also look at the parents of the Columbine kids and are similarily judgemental- it must be something they have done wrong because that would “never” happen with my kids…

It doesn’t help us to bury our heads in the sand, and it doesn’t help victims like the Ramseys who had very little sympathy from the media or public, but it is a very common reaction that we need to be aware of.

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