I love my neighborhood. We chose it because it very much suits us. Our house is 85 years old and nestled in the middle of a neighborhood in which most houses are even older. Every early evening in the summer, I take little Paris, our pug mascot on a walk and every early evening I am reminded that I just never learn. Every neighborhood has “that house”. The house you avoid. Why don’t I avoid? Morbid fascination perhaps?

Still, I like my little trek, and it’s foolish to avoid a house because of a bunch of children, even if they are strange. The house where quiver full of peasant dress wearin’, speech impediment talkin’, flower frolickin’, 1900 House livin’, Quaker vibe projecting children of the corn reside. It’s riduclous that I would have to change my favorite route just to avoid their non-television viewin’ asses. So, I start out in hopes that I might get lucky and they aren’t playing with wooden trucks and handmade dolls in their yard as they often are, complete with their uneven, home manicured haircuts.

No such luck.

Out they run and ask me the same thing, “Can I pet your dog? What kind of dog is that? Does she always look sad?”

“Just pet the damn dog,” I think to myself, “We’ve been over these questions over and over during the last year and the answers are still all the same.”

I have perfectd the in-and-out with these strange kids, so long as the Little House on the Prairie mother doesn’t come out and decide to make my stroll a homeschooling lesson. I say quickly, “Okay, you pet her already. Bye.”

Today was different though. It was Sunday, and instead of their cotton, flowery, ankle length dresses, they were wearing long velvet dresses and the boys were not with the girls today. As I scurried off and turned the corner, I hear the tapping of patent leather shoes behind me. I turn around and it’s one of the younger girls. A basket of petals in one hand, a basket of pamphlets in the other.

“Oh, shit,” I say to myself, “Don’t tell me…”.

The little girl, blonde hair and blue eyes says in her sweet little munchkin voice, “I have something for you. We want you to go to heaven.” She hands me the pamphlet and says, “God bless you. I really want you to go to heaven.”

I open the pamphlet and it reads…

There are four things you must believe:

I. You have sinned

II. The penalty for sin is death & hell

(Great. Why the hell should I go any further??? Garbage can anyone?)

III. Jesus died to pay for our sins

(Okay, drumroll please….)

IV. Jesus invites you to be saved today!

Then, get this, there is a little place for your name, address and phone number in which declare yourself as accepting that Jesus died for your sins and you’re now born again.

Shit. My neighborhood rules! How many suburban neighborhoods can you get accosted by God’s children in prairie dresses?? They will for sure grow up knowing how to make a good meal for their man, and I’m quite certain they are already in training on how to keep several steps behind the men in their lives.

And I was missin’ city life. Ha!

Okay, tomorrow, I have to find another route.

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Two of our contests are ending very soon, so this is your last chance to enter! First, we’re giving away ten copies of Leigh Nash’s new CD, “Blue on Blue” (Ms. Nash was the singer of the now defunct Sixpence None the Richer). Also, we have 10 “How to Eat Fried Worms” prize packs to give away. Here’s where to enter:

Leigh Nash CD Giveaway (ends 11:59 p.m. August 31, 2006)

How to Eat Fried Worms Giveaway (ends 11:59 p.m. September 1, 2006)

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I thought for sure this news report was coming out of California or Washington State, but no, this latest bit on the squashing of free enterprise comes from across the pond. The Guardian Unlimited in the UK reports, ”health charities today renewed calls for a ban on the advertising of junk food to children as new government research predicted rising obesity in the next few years.” Of course, that makes total sense! Parents are helpless when their children are being brainwashed by the commercials on television. I mean, really, what’s a parent to do when their kid incessantly demands McDonald’s for dinner — say NO? Cut down on their TV viewing to decrease the advertising bombardment? Preposterous!! 

It’s much easier, apparently, to pass a law and smack the hand of the nasty corporations at the root of all evil. People are fat? Corporations fault! High fuel prices? Corporations! War in Iraq? Corporations! Poor education? You guessed it, corporations! Left-wing liberals that bristle at the label ”communist” or “socialist”, should perhaps, then, tone down the championing of doing away with pure capitalism and a free market society… Fortunately the UK health secretary has a shred of common sense:

However, the health secretary, Patricia Hewitt, indicated today that the government would not be pushing strongly for curbs on advertising. She argued about the importance of personal responsibility in the battle against obesity.

Ms Hewitt said lifestyle was important and spoke about the importance of exercise. Fast food firms such as McDonald’s who oppose curbs on advertising have long made similar arguments.

Ms Hewitt said Ofcom and the government would have to assess how far advertising actually influenced the choices children made.

Read the whole story… 

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Ask yourself, if an illegal immigrant is willing to sacrifice a child to come to America, is that really the desired dominant culture you wish our society to become? That is what almost happened when a group of illegal aliens crossed our border and the cries of a toddler became too much of a liability. The toddler was left for dead as the man that was with her fled to get away from her cries and was thought to potentially blow his cover.

Of course, I can’t exclusively brand illegal invaders as exclusively deviant or abusive to children because we have plenty of natural born Americans who abuse children, but what’s even more concerning is that the jury pool might have been sympathetic to this individual. By way of sheer numbers, the more illegal crossings, the more influx of a specific nationality, the more of a reality it becomes that American citizens will lose their voice and then we will be completely screwed. If we allow the continued infiltration of illegal immigrants, legal American citizens won’t have enough people to represent their grievances and it doesn’t even have to be but a few more states in which illegal aliens will dominate. It’s all about state policy and law and on the national level, the electoral college. In the near future, certain states will be home to more illegals than Americans and when that happens, American citizens will have little influence in this country. The country will be driven by the desires of illegal immigrants and the culture and crime that comes with it. Americans will then need to assimilate to Hispanic culture, and like it too. America is very close to being one gigantic Mexico.

Ask yourself, can you live with that?

SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. — An illegal immigrant who abandoned a 16-month-old girl under a mesquite bush as Border Patrol agents closed in was convicted of child abuse, but a jury rejected a more serious charge that could have led to a 24-year prison sentence.
Juan Cayetano Rosas, 24, faces 2 1/2 years in prison for Friday’s conviction on a negligent child abuse charge.

Cayetano, from Huachinango in the Mexican state of Puebla, was among a group who crossed the border on July 5, 2005. He testified at his trial in Bisbee that he had just squeezed through a fence into the U.S. when the migrant smuggler leading his group told a woman to hand him her baby.

When Border Patrol vehicles suddenly appeared, Cayetano said the smuggler told the group to run. He ran with the baby and the mother went the other way.

Cayetano said he lay on the desert floor with the child for about two hours before the girl started crying. Thinking the cries would attract nearby agents, he ran away.

The woman was caught and told agents about the missing baby, and they caught Cayetano about an hour later. He eventually led agents to her hiding place.

The child was scratched and covered with ants, but otherwise unharmed.
The Cochise County Attorney charged Cayetano with aggravated abuse of a child under 15, which carries the 24-year prison term.

A juror who spoke with the Bisbee Review newspaper on the condition of anonymity said a key issue during deliberations was whether Cayetano had left the child in a situation likely to cause death or serious injury, as prosecutors alleged. Read the rest…

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While most seem to be railing on the media for jumping all over what is now an apparently false confession by John Mark Karr in the JonBenet Ramsey case, Phil Rosenthal of the Chicago Tribune says that the media doesn’t owe anyone an apology, and reminds people how we got into this mess in the first place:

True, the media went overboard with the rerunning of the kiddie pageant photos and videos that made the story such a sensation from the start. But, no matter what readers and viewers claim about being repulsed, bored or ambivalent, the media make their money by responding to what the public is interested in, as well as what’s in the public interest.

Let’s not forget, it was also the media that reported complications such as Karr’s ex-wife saying the guy was nowhere near Boulder, Colo., on the night of the crime and how DNA tests would be needed to sew up the case. Read the rest… (registration required)

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First the schools decided to extend their reach into our kids’ private lives by monitoring student’s blog and internet activity, and now I read on The Zero Boss that one school in Alaska wants to completely do away with the First Amendment altogether… and who is championing the school’s actions? Why, it’s our old pal, Ken Starr:

Known to millions as the man who valiantly attempted to save White House interns from renegade Presidential cum stains, Starr is now devoting his free time to defending public schools in Alaska from Messiah Madness. Read the rest…

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As an infant feeding, pro-choice advocate I think this is great news.

Apparently, 90% of Philippine women currently formula feed their babies, and although that is a pitiful statistic, education is the key here, not prohibition of infant formula. The Philippines also suffer from one of the worst infant mortality rates, much of it blamed on formula use which has been blamed for diarrhea caused deaths. On the other hand, America also has one of the worst infant mortality rates, and depending on who you ask, a plethora of causes are cited, depending on that persons particular agenda. I have heard the large infant mortality rate in the U.S. being blamed on formula as well, and it just isn’t true.

In industrialized nations, a woman ought to be allowed to decide whether or not to use her body to nourish her babies or use an acceptable alternative. With both methods, education and medical monitoring should be a part of that baby’s health care. If fresh water is not available to properly mix formula (the number one reason for diarrhea related illness in the third world in infants fed formula), then the government should be educating women on that fact, not instituting infant formula prohibition. Granted, some countries populations cannot support the cost of infant formula, coupled with unclean water, but those populations have major issues outside of formula feeding, and unfortunately, as in HIV infected women, formula is the better option, just not a realistic one. That’s unfortunate, but not the fault of formula itself, but rather the conseqeuence of a poor and uneducated society.

Komfie Manalo - All Headline News Foreign Correspondent
Manila, Philippines (AHN) - Manufacturers of infant formula scored a major court victory Wednesday when the Philippine Supreme Court ordered the government to stop its absolute ban on the promotion and advertisement of breast milk substitutes.

The high tribunal issued a two-page resolution issuing a temporary restraining order against the ban.

The TRO is “effective immediately and continuing until further orders from this court prohibiting and enjoining the respondents from implementing Administrative Order 2006-012 or the Revised Implementing Rules and Regulations of Executive Order 51 or the Milk Code.”

But the petitioners must post a $10,000 bond within five days or the TRO will be lifted.

In May 16, the Palace issued the executive order and said breast milk substitutes or infant formulas “endanger the lives of infants by inadvertently misinforming mothers on their children’s health.”

EO 51 revises the Milk Code which regulates the use of infant formula. Read the rest…

In another part of the world, the world health organization (WHO) has recently revised their infant formula advertisement policies in Africa that restrict formula companies from misrepresenting the product and for health officials to represent formula companies. Seems pretty reasonable to me.

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If you have not heard already, the Boulder, CO prosecutor has decided to not press charges against John Mark Karr because his DNA didn’t match that found at the murder scene of Jon Benet Ramsey. Even if John Mark Karr didn’t kill Jon Benet, he’s a gi-normous freak of nature. I would say clever, because he nabbed a free vacation from hell, back to Sunny California and then onto beautiful Boulder, Colorado (too bad it’s not quite skiing season yet, he could have taken in a few slopes in between fantasizing about little girls).

I’ll admit, I pretty much fell for it at first. He seemed just freaky enough, yet there was somethin’ shifty within his shifty eyes. He just seemed so nonchalant about the whole thing and then you throw in his desire to have a sex change, this guy was obviously craving some negative attention.

So, great. The only person (or persons) jerkier than John Mark Karr are the Boulder prosecutors. And, to be even jerkier than the freak that went to Thailand and turned out to be so incredibly creepy that the police of pedophile paradise thought him to be too slim shady is sayin’ somethin’!

(Hmm…what can I confess to to get a free trip, half-way around the world and travel in business class? I hear Aruba is nice this time of year.)

So now John Mark Karr is sitting pretty in the United States when he should have been locked up in Thailand. The poor Ramsey family. I’m still convinced they didn’t do it, but they definitely are victims of some bad-ass karma, which is the understatement of the century.

From the New York Times:

Ramsey Suspect Won’t Be Charged in Killing 
 
By KIRK JOHNSON and MARIA NEWMAN
Published: August 28, 2006
BOULDER, Colo., Aug. 28 — The district attorney’s office in Boulder, Colo., decided today not to file criminal charges against John Mark Karr in the killing of the child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey because his DNA did not match the evidence found at the scene of her death 10 years ago.

Mr. Karr had been scheduled to make his first court appearance in Boulder this afternoon after he was arrested in Thailand on Aug. 16 and extradited last week to Colorado, by way of Los Angeles. He had not been charged in the killing.

That hearing was canceled, and the Boulder County district attorney, Mary Lacy, said this afternoon that the case against Mr. Karr had been dropped “because no evidence has developed other than his own repeated admission to place Mr. Karr at the scene of the crime and in particular because his DNA does not match that found in the victim’s blood in her underwear.” Read the rest…

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If it’s good enough for the actors of Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Lost etc., it’s good enough for my kid to slobber all over. Apparently, these little suckers are being given to A-list actors nominees in their Emmy (click here to see who won) goody bags:

Available for purchase and personalization at www.mypacifier.com. Prices start at 3 pacifiers with customized names for $15 — not bad!

Fremont, CA (PRWEB) August 27, 2006 -– Less than a year after coming to America, mommy-invented MyPacifier™ Personalized Pacifiers have gone to top A-list TV actors in celebration of this year’s TV award season as part of the Madison & Mulholland Ultimate TV Nominee Gift Bags.

Madison & Mulholland, the premier VIP gift bag and product placement company based in New York City, prepared Ultimate TV Nominee Gift Bags which are being gifted to top A-list actors including those from ‘24′; ‘Desperate Housewives’; ‘Grey’s Anatomy,’ ‘Lost’ and others. The selection of MyPacifier™ for the gift bags shows that it’s not just expensive items that Madison & Mulholland looks for, they also search for the latest unique products that will bring about “oohs and ahhs” from the receiving nominees. MyPacifier™ was fortunate to be selected by Madison & Mulholland as one of the creative new products to be included in their Ultimate TV Nominee Bags. MyPacifier™ Personalized Pacifiers are certainly one of the more affordable items to be included in the gift bags, coming in at a price of only $15 per set of three.

The MyPacifier™ story started when a young mother in Denmark experienced the pacifier swap problem. Pia Callesen, the creator of MyPacifier™, says “When I went to day care to pick up my son Frederik, more often than not I found that his pacifier had disappeared and Frederik had another child’s pacifier in his mouth. I began searching for a pacifier product with a name on it, but I got the same answer in all the shops, ‘buy a permanent marker pen and write his name on the pacifier.’ I thought it should be possible for all parents to buy a quality pacifier with their child’s name engraved on it. Apart from looking good, it could then also survive repeated sterilization.”

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A new Imperfect Parent Radio podcast is up for your enjoyment. This week, we ramble on about the recent FDA decision to allow the morning after pill to be sold OTC. Oh yeah, and find out the whereabouts of “The Bodyguard”.

Download/listen to the podcast here.

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